Nighttime coffee
with just the two of us
etching memories
on that side of the shop
laughing, smiling, crying
with the cold air around
remembering and forgetting
whatever worries we had before
looking back at that moment
where hearts were
as transparent as they can be
the time we lost was realization
that we can never be
unless you make it be
for there will be a day
not too long from now
that you and I will part
farther than the universe
can ever imagine
where your pulse grows stronger
and mine grows weaker

if today or the next
will be my (hopefully not) last
know that I want to be
the last who'll ever be
the one who hurts you

I wish I could have
that same hope
you had for me
when we both found out
where I'm going from here

cause truth be told
when the universe tells you
that your time ticks
by the shorter years

It's hard to be happy
It's hard to have fun
It's hard to smile
It's hard to be strong

That day when we both knew
where I'm going from here
You looked to plan A - Z

You looked through
the high and low places
looking for ways to keep me
from parting this realm

I looked at you
at every single detail of you
thinking if today or the next
will be my very last

People underestimate
far too much
far too often
the pain experienced
by
a nice guy

The nice guy
has been hurt too
True
but that didn't stop him
from being
exactly who he is

Everyone
has different things to offer
and he knew this,
reminded himself
Every single time
anyone came close to him

That's why
when he says
"I understand"
believe him
when he says so
because
the number one thing
to insult any kind of nice guy
is to tell him
"No, you don't"

Have you ever seen
a daylight shooting star?

It shines brighter than
the big yellow sun
and you can barely
see anything else
other than it

Sadly, it's one
of the saddest things
cause it comes to orbit
really quick and yet
it moves away after
every sighting

It shines once you see it
it shines brighter than
any other existence
within orbit and yet
no one seems to
see, hear, or witness it

sometimes, I'd like to believe
what people say when I say
"I've seen a daylight shooting star"
people believe that
I have seen
"far too many suns
to believe that*"

She's the beginning
of this gentle insanity
as I'm falling deep
into her charms
all over again

Night and day
Day and night
Begins and ends
with her image

And even in the littlest
reaches of her hand
I open my door to her
and in every release of it
I await again and again
until her palm is again
within reach
with the same questions
every. single. time.
in my mind

"What am I to you?"
"What do I mean to you?"

When you wake up
with broken heartstrings
after every reach
you learn so much
after each awakening

That I love her enough
to bludgeon the thought
engrave it to my skull
and accept the fact that
I am now only a friend that
exists to her
**only when I am needed

Dad started drinking again

The universe is cruel.
No debate on that.
As it plots existences
one by one
in the continuum of its being
We yearn closely for meaning
as we come close to concepts
love, truth, reality

We are but lines
plotted by it
existing through space-time
moving without knowing
and yet with direction
as per instructed by it

As movement goes
little did we know
there are lines similar
almost perfect
to one another
moving past this part of the plane
yearning to be with each other

but alas,
the universe is cruel in so many ways

these lines were plotted in curvature
and yet ever so gently
it moved closely
so near to being one like many
but to dismay has disruptions
wrong plots, slopes, instances
to a state where points never touch

the universe plots and plots
and yet never in its
right mind
cooperated