Smoke
filling your lungs
Red sunset
that same smoke
Floating, filling
the air
90 degrees
humid
Confusion
Loss
The hot pavement of the sidewalk.
Screams in the back of your mind,
Constant
Everybody is fighting
Just like your secret screams

I’m the only one that knows the pain in my heart,
I put a shield up
A smile on
You can’t see
My secret
Tortured soul
When I put on my masks
People don’t know any better
They've always seen me with them on
Who would think that it’s a mask?
After all
How many secrets can such a bright smile hide?

I sit here
In a mood
My phone chimes
A smile paints across my face
My heart beating way too fast
How has it not burst

It's you

And it's killing me
Waiting to respond
But I must
Not wanting to see too desperate or attentive

Because I need you
More than you know

When you are laughing so hard
It's hard to breath
But you can't stop that smile

When you think of your crush
You are just so happy
Your smile is effortless
It just happens
A reaction

Then there is the one
That you are so used to
That one where you have to use all of the muscles in your face
It takes all of your energy
Because it's so hard to fake now a days

A smile can tell so much
And nothing at all

Because people can't see what's behind closed doors
And a wide smile

I'm not a touchy feely person
I'm not going to exploit you to friends and acquaintances
I'm not going to cry about how much I miss you
I'm not going to be a victim
Or an attention seeker.

I am going to be,
You are simply visiting

I am not going to change the sheets if you don't like them
or the kitchen
my shoes
or my heart

I just am, you are a visitor
An onlooker
An acquaintance that I let in
Never mind if I want to be alone
You want to break down the door