It's truly exhausting to fear this way,
To face each day and feel this way.
A terrible nagging that won't go away,
To struggle and fight and have no say.

I'm afraid to wake up and live,
I'm afraid to sleep and die.

There's a race inside of my mind,
But no one ever gets ahead,
Nor ever do they fall behind.
A limbo if you will.

I'm afraid to sleep at night,
I'm afraid to face the day.

It's truly exhausting to fear this way,
And I'll never not feel this way,
But I make progress every day,
So I think I'll go to sleep.

Waves of blue destroy the shore,
Littering particles of memory behind.
Flashes jump and fade before grasped,
Eyes closed embracing the sea breeze.

I lived in a castle made of sand,
I gazed through sea glass windows.
I swam in a bucket of bliss,
I buried my woes with a shovel.

Ocean storms destroyed my home,
Brewed by rage buried beneath me.
Photographs covered the shore,
And my shovel was misplaced.

Pictures dance on lit up screens,
In flashing colors and pearl smiles.
Decorated with inspirational words,
Of a world that we don't really live in.

When screens go dim, we turn somber.
When the noise stops, we panic.

Pictures dance on lit up screens,
Distorted and modified until content.
Decorated in frames and cartoon flowers,
Edited until almost unrecognizable.

Confused when mirrors speak truth,
Feeling alone inside of a crowded room.

Pictures dance on lit up screens,
With chords attached to our limbs.
Comfortable in our edited skin,
"We're literally living for everything"...

Ice cubes melt and evaporate,
In a salt rimmed glass.
Shaken and garnished with lime,
Denied and left there to dry.

Time moves slower at night,
The bar looks at me in lust.
Strength is found at sunrise,
Another battle is won.

Memories are loud sometimes,
Crying out to be fed.
Terrified to be dealt with,
Screaming in rage when wet.