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Nov 2017 · 283
Don’t let me
Jessie A Nov 2017
There will be times where I will fall, and I won’t want to get up. Instead, I will pretend that the ground is like quicksand dragging me to the earths core. I will imagine that I am nothing but a speck being pulled by the wind. I will believe that I am nothing to make the time go by. Take my hand and pull me up. Tell me that I am worth being saved. That I will one day be able to understand my worth. Have faith in me, because I can’t. Don’t let me sink.
Jun 2017 · 335
Sinking In
Jessie A Jun 2017
It's midnight
There's no light
Just me and the tingling sensation
I give it much appreciation
My head is swaying back and forth
But then everything goes north
My heart beating fast
My panic is so vast
I close my eyes
I listen to all of the lies
That my head is feeding me
Things that I can see
All the monsters in my head
Makes me feel like I'm dead
The monster is my faults
My self inflicted assaults
My mind is growin tired
I tell it its time that it's fired
I close my eyes and go to sleep
And I let the thoughts sink in deep
I wake up and repeat it all again
Another day and and everything still sinks in.
Apr 2017 · 276
Like The Leaves
Jessie A Apr 2017
My life feels like it withers away,
Like a leaf with nothing but the wind in its way,
Like a leaf I have my cracks too,
Sometimes those that aren't visible to you,
Like a leaf that goes with the sway,
Never withering further away,
Like a leaf that goes from green to brown,
I too can go from happy to a frown,
Like a leaf that flows away,
I too like a warm sunny day,
Like the leaf that seems to fly too high,
I want to wave and say goodbye,
But like a leaf that is tied to its tree,
I too have a tie between my choices and me.
Apr 2017 · 230
The Thoughts
Jessie A Apr 2017
The thoughts that sneak into my brain,
****** im going insane,
My mind draws pictures that I don't want to see,
But its obeying the inner part of me,
I know that im all ****** up,
The thoughts can be gone but suddenly erupt,
I think im worse than I used to be,
I hate the inner part of me,
My appearance is a sweet little girl,
But in my view im one that deserves to go to hell,
The images keep coming to mind,
I need to set them far behind,
It gets me once and then again,
Eventually I am right in it's hand.
Apr 2017 · 262
The Devil
Jessie A Apr 2017
Death came fast in which I wish I had known,
To us the after life was never shown,
Our lost souls wish to stay,
But the devils trying to take our withering souls away,
I try to grasp onto what little life I thought I had,
But in an instant I felt the devils grab,
I kick and I kick him away,
He says ill be back soon, maybe today,
I look down and see his imprint on me,
Lord please have mercy on me,
I feel the pain each time I look upon my scar,
Each time it gets a little more hard,
The imprint resembles the temptation and guilt laid on me,
**** the devil and what I see,
He comes back every day to retrieve my soul,
But it continues to say no,
Each time my resistance weakens,
Soon it will break my beacons,
I don't want to wither away,
***** the devil and the temptations he throws my way !
Mar 2017 · 559
Brain Dead
Jessie A Mar 2017
Laying in bed,
Knowing soon, I will be brain dead,
All my thoughts and memories rush to my brain,
Im dying, and it's making me insane,
Im sitting in a room that's full of silence,
But in my mind that is violence,
Thinking of my family makes me sad,
Thinking about all of the memories that we had,
Now my time has come,
Now, everything will be undone,
The darkness is on it's way,
Now my memories are fading away.
Mar 2017 · 304
Everlasting pain
Jessie A Mar 2017
In a dark corner there stands,
A man with a knife in his hands,
His heart is beating fast,
But that feeling might not last,
He's dealt with so much pain,
There's feelings that he just can't contain,
He's tired of living an unfair life,
So he wants to take it out with a knife,
He hates the people that made his life hell,
He used to wish that someone would tell,
But people just stood around,
Laughing and making every kind of sound,
He would sit on the floor,
Hoping that someone different would walk through the door,
He takes his knife and runs,
He sees everyone that he stuns,
He looks for the guilty,
He's going to make them filthy,
He spots a certain person,
Which makes his feelings worsen,
He can't keep control,
He stabs the person and takes his soul,
He runs throughout the place,
Giving every single person a taste,
Eventually his feelings had worsened,
And he made himself the last person,
At home he left a letter,
Something to make his mom feel better,
His mom had cried,
And three days later she died,
She couldn't take the pain,
Bam! Went the bullet into her brain,
At their funeral their family cried,
Now wishing they were the one's that had died.
Mar 2017 · 244
The Beast
Jessie A Mar 2017
Before me there lies,
A beast, with such ominous eyes,
Showing big sharp teeth,
It growls, shaking the ground beneath,
I flee but I fall,
And I can't seem to crawl,
With my ears,
I hear soft tears,
I manage to turn around,
And I follow your sound,
I find you, and I flee to your side,
Finding a heart deep inside,
I see your mistaken by others eyes,
The way I feel deep inside,
Your much like me I see,
Best friends, were meant to be.
Mar 2017 · 285
My Childish Endeavors
Jessie A Mar 2017
I once could fly
Higher than my image of the sky
I thought of life as a fairytale
But once was a fairytale, became a hell
I thought that I could be anything that I wanted
But  now, it leaves me haunted
The world wasn't how I thought it would be
But now, my experienced eyes see
Life were if it were my castle, and I were the princess
But now, that life is useless
Now things are far more different
Now you need everyone's endorsement
As a child things were never perfect
But back then I just lived in the moment
I used to dream higher than the sky
But now, I must say goodbye
Because the thought of my childish endeavors
May haunt me forever
Mar 2017 · 291
Broken
Jessie A Mar 2017
I reach down into my heart,
Careful not to tear it apart.
Then I discover all the pieces,
There is a feeling that not one teaches.
I always knew that I was broken,
Knowing I could never be ones token.
I want things that few desire,
Things that would make your weak mind tire.
I start to feel all of the stress,
As I watch the constant rise and fall of my chest.
I set a lock upon my mind,
I think of things that even your mind couldn't grind.
I hate the feeling of what I am,
I'm tired of feeling the painful cram.
Sometimes I look in the mirror,
Wishing that the image would disappear.
Is it bad that I think this about myself? Surely it is bad for my health.
Mar 2017 · 176
A Mothers Love
Jessie A Mar 2017
A mothers love can mean so much,
Down to every word and single touch.
When I was younger I never questioned,
The love of which my mom hardly ever mentioned.
As I got older the words slipped away,
Sometimes I wish the words were here to stay.
Sometimes I express my love,
But I'm tired of being pushed away like a bug.
Sometimes she teases me way too much,
But she doesn't realize I hate myself enough.
There are things that my mother has said,
Things that I keep going over and over in my head.
What she said cut me deep,
A pain I wish I wouldn't keep.
Her words can't be undone,
The thought of them makes me want to run.
I hate the words she said so much,
Maybe because they were right to the touch.
Mar 2017 · 206
The Moon
Jessie A Mar 2017
The moon and life are alike
They both have their good and bad days
The light of the moon resembles the good
The darkness of the moon resembles the bad
But it is us that chooses which way to go with what we are given
The moon can be dark, but it turns back to light once again.
Mar 2017 · 2.6k
I Can't Help Myself
Jessie A Mar 2017
I can't help myself!
I keep falling into the same hole that I dug,
Being stupid as if I were a mindless little bug.
I say I'm not going to make the same mistake again,
Because I'm tired of living a life that's full of sin.
I can't help myself!
The temptations are way too much,
My temptations are addicting like the softness of a touch.
I can't help myself!
Sometimes I cry because of the person  that I am,
It's like the devil keeps selling me the same  old scam.
I keep falling for it over and over,
All the devil has to say is roll over.
I can't help myself!
I know I'm young and I'll make mistakes,
But one mistake is all that it takes.
One mindless decision could ruin my life,
The decision that makes me choose a life or a knife.
I can't help myself!
I try to crawl up the hole,
But it's like I lost my soul.
Sometimes I do things and I don't care,
There's a  feeling of numbness that no one can repair.
I can't help myself!
It's crazy what temptations will do,
Making you feel like it will always be apart of you.
It's like I can't say no,
It's throwing me over and over again in the same hole.
I can't help myself...

— The End —