The bruises chill against the floor
Heartless wood sticks to the flesh
That what doesn’t stick to sweat is wet
Damp with bile and blood
I do not know how long I have laid here
How long my eye had swelled black
How long my ribs ached with each breath
How long my legs refused to walk
There is no comfort here
No softness of blanket
No heat of kind touch
No decency of clothes
Just the wind and the floor
Both which hate my flesh
To shift is an agony, a pain that consumes all
I am sure things are broken
Things that cannot be repaired
I do not want to get back up
While the floor holds such pain and discomfort
To stand holds so much more
Will the pain fade when I make it to my feet?
Or will it rise with me, eager claws to bring me back down
With a vengeance, harder than before
Punishment for defying it
Will it fade as I reach the door, and fumble outside?
Will it fade as I beg for help from onlookers?
And will they help?
Or will they gawk at my form?
**** and emaciated, bruised and bloodied
Helpless
I do not want to get back up
But I can’t give myself the choice
Else I shall rot against the floor
And the chill will have won

I woke to find that today, the sky is gray
A color of comfort that once layered a cool air
Yet now it's different
It's a mute shade, silencing the colors of the day
The red flags are just flags, and the sun is swollen and tired
I woke to find that today, that music is gray
Melodies and tempos have lost their meaning
Cassettes of meaningless words set on repeat
Birdsong is noise, and speaking is a harsh tone
I woke to find that today, my eyes are gray
I do not recognize the thing in the mirror
It's face forlorn and its body decrepit
There's no hope in those eyes, no joy in those lips
I woke to find that today, I had turned gray
And I could not find some other day

'There's a thousand tales in her scars
And ten thousand words in her eyes
Her heart is big enough for two
But she isn't real
And I can't make her real
She has a love of every man and woman
A care of every being that lives
And eyes that say she needs you
But she isn't real
And I can't make her real
I've made up the stories about her
I've conjured the way she thinks
I've ignored the way that she is
Because she isn't real
And I can't make her real
Am I the only one who sees past the veil?
The only one who looks in my mirror
And doesn’t like what I see
She isn’t real
Because that side of me isn’t real

Oh what a day
What a beautiful day
My chest oh so loose
Ever empty and free
I can smile and think
I can breath and I can be
Oh what a day
What a beautiful day
To show my friends the things
I've always had with me
Such thoughts and such trust
Ready to be shared
I beam with such pride and they look with such joy
The things I have done
The things I have made
Ready to burst forth into sight
Oh what a day
What a beautiful day
I reach into my pocket
And cradle the bird close
His flight they shall see
And I the gracious host
I've raised him from birth
And have seen him this far
I've seen the bird fly
And I've seen the bird cry
Oh what a day
What a beautiful day
I look to the bird and the bird looks to me
I know he's ready and he knows the same
Their eyes are on us now, eager to see
As I gently push him up, to give him to the sky
My heart soars as he does too
And it crashes, next to little bird blue
Something went wrong
Why can't I breath?
I kneel to the ground, trying to fix his broken wing
But each touch only breaks more
My cries rivaling his
He crumbles to dust as my fingers cradle him
I feel their eyes upon me
Silent and solemn
As if nothing went wrong
And I turn to them with a false smile to say
Oh what a day
What a beautiful day