I lied every time I said I'd never leave 
Then again so did she
But now she's happier without me
And I'm still struggling to find a reason.
A reason to live, a reason to smile,
A reason to find hope for at least a short while.

But her love for me has died, 
my hope dying with it.
And believe me I have tried,
To take life and just live it.

Yet how can I without any hope
See without her I just can't cope.
I tried to move on but to no avail, 
Can't make it to shore without wind in the sail.

Now I'm stranded at sea
 alone and in pain
While she trades her love for me
With a feeling of disdain.

I wish I could go back, 
I wish I could change,
Change all the facts
Before becoming estranged.

I'm separated from life 
With nowhere to go.
Suffering in strife 
If she could just know.

But I know there's not a chance 
In changing her mind 
I can try to make recompense 
But I'll just waste my time.

So time I do waste,
Since there's nothing else I can do
But I must make haste
As she's already found someone new.

Yet I don't even know if that's the case
None of it could be real, it could all be lies,
This all started with a rumor in the first place
To come across another should be no surprise.

How shall I keep living everyday like I'm uncertain
Of what I will find sitting behind the curtain
It will never be pleasant only full of pain,
I can't see any way out where I get to gain.

Will I ever find out, will I ever move on
Or will I continue to find doubt in each new coming dawn?
For though sunrise is so beautiful it just reminds me about her
No, I think I'll keep on holding, yes of that I'm pretty sure.

I will remain loyal to her when to me she is not
And remember all the times she has so easily forgot.
Why does the "right thing" seem to be so wrong?
By the time I change my mind will it have been too long?

5/26/14

I want to be content with where I am
To be sure I've done all that I can
Yet I want to find hope that tomorrow 
won't be filled with as much sorrow 
That all that has brought me pain
Will soon bring forth some gain
That the sun will shine on brighter days 
And I will one day be home to stay.
I love her, I love her dearly 
Someday, one day she'll see it clearly.

1/1/14

I'm bound by the hands, chains crushing my heart;
I can't bare to stand, so I just fall apart.

I'm trapped inside, I can't get out
"Somebody help me! Please help me," I shout.

But nobody's there, no one can hear;
I'm filled with despair as I face my greatest fear.

The first day is the worst day
The hardest of them all
The day you have to stand up strong
When all you want to do is fall

If you pass the first day that's the worst day,
But there's still much more to come.
So push your stand into a walk,
And then your walk into a run