**** it up, buttercup
It's only gonna get more hard
Ignore the hunger
You'll only get more scarred

I know they're watching me eat
Everything I Blink I see them staring at me
Judging me
... let me be

Don't eat
Don't eat
Won't eat
Won't eat
Can't eat...

i still remember the first time i texted
988
i was in the 6th grade
crying
holding a Swiss army knife
bleeding
from my shoulders and wrists
and heart

it was 2 in the morning
i was in my room
they gave me a list of reasons of why i shouldn't
it didn't stop me from trying

one week later
i texted again
same story
then the next week
then the next
they started to recognize my number
they remembered my name
every time
i haven't texted them in a while
i wonder if they miss me
i wonder if they're happy i haven't

i kind of miss them

Why do I laugh
Why do I sing
Why do I cry
Why do I even try
Whenever I have faith
It always ends up as a lie

Why do I write
Why do I draw
Why do I smile
It's almost never worth while

Make it stop
...

Last night I cried myself to sleep
The night before as well
Tonight I can't stop crying
And life feels like hell

Scrape the paint off the walls
Make me feel insane
Scrape the skin off my arms
Let me go through pain

My tear-stained pillow
Can't take any more
It soaks up my sobs like a sponge
Unlike the cold hard floor

Cold
I think I know something about that word
Like your heart by the end of the year
Left with nothing but migrating birds.
Leaving.
Running away.
Hope for happiness
... one day

hard
to talk
about

yet
hard
to avoid

haha
that's me

everybody
hates him
nobody cares

everybody
wants to
shove him down the stairs

haha.
that's me.

I once saw the beauty in fall
With the colors
And joy
And holidays

But now I just see the leaves dying
And falling hopelessly to the ground

Funny how your perspective can change so quickly.