Hydeer

Hydeer Jan 2019

A string will have imperfections and little threads that poke out and look ugly
Some threads even hurt the structure of how strong the string is
And that's ok they all do if you want you can try to fix the thread and put it back
And a lot of the time it will work and the string will be stronger than ever
The important thing to do when an impefection occurs in a string and refuses to be fixed is to
Now this part is important
Cut. It. Off.
Cutting a thread of is hard almost all the time
But if you tried to wound it back in with the others as best you can and it is just to stubborn
Cut. It. Off.

I wish I learned to cut off threads earlier. Not saying it's a good thing but it'll be better for everyone in the long run.

#toughtimes

Hydeer Jan 2019

Recording

I once had this mp3 player on the top of my dresser
I'd wake up in the morning rewind it and listen to it all the day through
I know all the lyrics to all the songs and the order of the songs
It never got boring or exiting to listen to the same songs
And because there was nothing else to do
I'd just rewind it and listen through it tommorow
"Maybe I'll find new songs maybe I won't. But at least I know these songs are good ones and that won't change" I would find myself saying
If I tried to find a new song I might be disappointed in the lyrics
Or maybe the beat won't be fun to listen to
What if the sound is scratched and itchy
For a couple years I just stayed with my songs that I knew I liked
But one day when I was listening to my songs I met a girl
She asked me "would you like to hear what music I like listen to?"
At first I was hesitant and scared and was tempted to decline
But she convinced me
And what I realized when she put the headphones on my ears is that...
I have a terrible taste in music
Now all we do is find new music with each other and I couldn't be happier

Everyday I strive to find a new song

#happiness

Hydeer Jan 2019

The Shackles of Language

Though I am constrained by the shackles of language and measurable time
I still strive to force my feelings, my consciousness, my perception through a string of words on a screen
Though I am held back by the lengths of waves that when seen by the ears of others translate to words of meaning and interpretation
I will try my best to contend to others that their perceptive of the waves or strings of text may very well be wrong
Though many people fail or fall short not to their fault or because it was their intention
I will still seek for more people that get it right
Then we will heal others around us

It's hard at first, but once you find one it get easier from there.

#love #beauty #happiness

Hydeer Dec 2018

softer grass

After a long climb and a long walk up a steep mountain

I looked over and I saw another mountain twice the size and waiting for me to travel up it

For a while, I sought no motivation to climb up the tremendous cliff as the grass was not greener as people had promised

So then I sat on top of my mountain, which felt like a meer protuberance from the land after what I had just witnessed

And I waited and waited and waited... time passed and I was neither happy or sad about it

Then one day the grass on my small hill began to die and shrivel turning into brown and black as they revealed stones that were hidden in them

Seeing this I decided I might as well try to climb the next mountain even though I knew it would be demanding and laborious

But when I got there and I took my first step the grass was softer than it was before and there was new motivation to climb it

maybe a second one today?

#motivation

Hydeer Dec 2018

No More Masks

Seeing others happy was hard once
I would sob and weep at the sight of a couple holding hands in the park
I would scowl and hiss when someone would mention what makes them happy
So I put on a mask and I painted it yellow and drew a smile and I kept it on my face for years
Occasionally people wanted to see under my mask
But when I would show them they would walk away as they saw something that could not be fixed
Like a glass vase broken into such fine pieces, you'd think it was a powder
So I would put my mask back on and repaint it when people started to get interested
However one day someone came by and said they would like to see under my mask
Though I knew it was dangerous I revealed it to them and they began to glue my pieces back together
I noticed that she had some broken parts herself so I did my best to stitch them together like an endless jigsaw puzzle
After a while, I threw away my mask and my paint and my brushes
Then I realized the tables had turned in a way I would have never thought
Others saw us happy and would hiss and sob
The only difference is
If someone shows us what's under their mask we won't walk away

I have endless amounts of glue

#happy #happiness #love #joy #healing #helping

Hydeer Dec 2018

Found

Though the darkness did surround me
Though I was scared
Though I was sad, lonely and ready to give up
Though all this surrounded me and cornered me
I found light and it only got better from there

Thank you, Becca

#love #hope #happiness

Hydeer Dec 2018

More Words Please?

I wish there were more words in the dictionary or in my language
Words that had new meaning and more impact and different history
Words that were not just trapped inside the interpretation of the listener
Sometimes a feeling can't be summarized by an assortment of definitions or explanations or poetry
So when people ask how I feel I can only hope that they have felt the same way before

This is kind of based on a poem that I wrote in my journal once but that one was a little bit too dark.

#words