You get up every day, you look in the mirror and see the same reflection as yesterday. Do you ever get tired of the never changing image that is your face? Does it ever make your heart ache?
Do you find yourself watching cheesy romance movies just to feel that jump in your heart that you thought you had forgotten, well sweety you're not alone. The day seems bright when you wake up and dark when you go to sleep. Thats how its supposed to feel. However, it is never supposed to make you want to scream at the top of your lungs. Its not supposed to make you doubt every choice you ever made. And the worst of all, its not supposed to make you want to tear your insides out just to feel something, cause you forgot what love feels like. You start to doubt if you're even human, you start to see things as they really are, as they shouldn't be, as you never wanted them to seem. The world isn't white or black, its a million different colors and somehow you find yourself in none of them, somehow your life seems bleak just because no one ever had the capacity of loving you, just because it feels like no one ever will. You start to believe the cruel things that the walls whisper to you, and you start to see them too. You want to make a difference in your life and you are positive that this new day, will keep its brightness through all hours. You tell yourself that, darling you are just as loveable as anyone else. You almost believe it. Then you see your reflection in the mirror at the school bathroom, at the club, at the mall, you still see the same dull eyes who once had stars in them, you see what you've become, you see the emptiness and the sorrow. The next thing you know, you're laying in bed, watching the notebook and answering the whispers with a simple: "You're right, who could ever love someone with no content whatsoever".

My name means pure, unsullied. It means that i'm untouchable, it means that i am alone, It means i am bigger than life, it means i smile with teeth of white. It means i am lonely somewhere in the light, it means you can't polute me. It means that if you are with me you're alone, it means i can't be mixed or altered by any other substance, when i get mixed in a substance, i don't react, i don't alter from my perfect white, it means you can't defy me, but remember to show me the bright colors that happen when you react with someone else.
My name is bright but misunderstood. Misinterpreted is the color of my eyes. No one is fit to my name, therefor it is rare. Therefor i'm not sure it fits. It means i get hurt, but still try getting on my feet. It means i find the good in other people, that i inherit the best traits. Even if i can't see it myself.
My name is spelled wrong, defying who i am, it misses a place to belong, my name is not easy to pronounce.
My name is a hurricane in the states, it is quick temper, my name is impatience, it means i can crush your heart, it means you can't carry mine. It means if you are with me you are on top of the world, it means you can't tear me down, im taking humans in my palms, swallowing the seas and rivers like saliva. And when you fall from the highest altitude remember to give me your black bruises. My name is unforgivable, my name meant pure once, my name was cold as the winter, killing butterflies, and my name is incarnated in the fields of Louisiana, killing people, and asking them to forgive me. Understand; i am not as pure as my name.

It means, i am alone, like the hurricane that carries my name i will be gone quicker than i came but never forgotten. It means that when i settle you fall from my palms. It means that i disapear, while you get hurt. It means that i am only shown in the atmosphere, watching, waiting and never coming back. If or when i do, you will have changed my name and i will be replaced by another hurricane, ten times stronger and harder to let go. I will be watching, dissapearing, while you are in the palms of another. When the rain finally falls, know that it is only my tears, they may not taste like salt, but they will taste bitter of heartbreak, and when everyone is shouting of pure happiness that the drought is finally over, that the water is fresh and delightfull, remember to tell me how you taste the hurt from my heart, in her mouth.
I will not be forgotten, whatever it takes.

When my name told me i was meant to be pure. I thought about how i blamed everyone who sullified me, knowing that the only one who poluted me was myself. Knowing that everything i have ever done was make myself less aproachable, more broken, more *****. less pure. I meant to destroy myself so i couldn't become a stereotype of my name. Now i am only expected to come spiralling down in a storm of dirt whenever i arrive.

When my name told me the truth, i thought i was the one doing the hurting, the damage. When all along i was the most hurt, broken and damaged. I am unsure of weather or not i deserve my name, but no matter what i will not be unsure of weather or not i am worthy of it.

I live in a dying city.
With more for sale signs than inhabitants.
When walking through the streets i see no activity, no joy and no people.
This city has no malls, no gas stations, no schools.
When passing by the old buildings who used to house laughter and learning i only see the unmowed lawns and crumbeling structure. Yesterday i heard an ambulance.
Now there is one less inhabitant and one more for sale sign.
This city is dying, if we leave, it will be gone forever, if we stay it will die with us.
Im not sure the title, city, fits anymore.
I live in a place with small rows of houses and more for sale signs that inhabitants.
I live in a place where laughter is no more and where failure is written on the street names, i live in a place that is dying with no hope for resurection.
And no, it is not our fault, it is not your fault, we can not blame anyone for the deception our city has caused.
We live here, we stay here, and we will fight for our right to call this place a city for as long as there are inhabitants.
Untill all there is, is for sale signs, we will be living in this dying city.