there once was a nerd, in his pastime he led a pony herd and drank mountain dew while his patchy mustache grew, he fingered a bag or three of Cheetos and studied tuxedoes, but the point i try to point is the point that this nerd was a sir, true and fair, and how dare you put him, leave him, in the grim grim world of the friend zone?! now pick up your phone and call that mountain dew can armor wearing amour back into your life and be his wife because *** is only for the married.

Autobiographical fact:
The CIA trained me in covert Martian Martial Arts.

I am better than you.
My fists are weapons of mass destruction.
Boom. Bite the towel, I'm going in dry
like US planes all over Iraq.
Sadam ain't got nothing on me.
(I mean...
He had no weapons to begin with
but I'll **** Cheney his *** and yours too.)
UN Security Council say whut?!
That's what I thought.
-Mic drop-

Art is dead. Poor Art.
Poor Art's kids and wife.
Art, you will be missed.

i am sexually attracted to pencils.

your eyes are not oceans
and you are not a natural disaster
you are manmade and you will topple
and i will be the one to topple you
because you are a literal bag of human ****
and if you think that telling me
that i deserve ****
will impress your fellow man friends,
you had better watch the **** out
because i am coming for you with a taser
and a buzzsaw
your mra t-shirts can't help you now,
****