People say the first stop
should always be acceptance
That on the journey to loving yourself
you should accept what you don't like
and just continue on
but they're wrong.
For the first time ever
I've found myself beginning to look in the mirror
See myself, mind, body, soul
and say "Hey,
You aren't so bad."
But that doesn't come from acceptance.
If we accept our flaws, how are we
to change for the better?
If we accept ourselves, as we are,
how are we to ever truly feel
worthy?
You have to work to love yourself,
acceptance is ignorance.
If it's unchangeable, change
your perspective.
If it's changeable,
make the effort
Don't sit idly by
poisoned by the toxic thought of
"I wish things would change for me"
"I wish I was skinnier"
"I wish I was pretty"
"I wish I was different"
"I wish they would love me"
Work to change,
change for the better.
In the end, loving yourself is a journey
not a destination.
And it's the hardest you'll ever have to work
But you're going to do it,
You're going to eventually get on the map,
and on the journey to loving yourself.

Cahill is irrelevant
but doesn't think he is
Cahill thinks my poetry
is more than *******
Cahill likes to think
that I still like his face
But Cahill is dead wrong
cause Cahill is
I R R E L E V A N T


-

You know....
I've changed in these past months
I didnt think you would notice
My speech and personality has escalated
It seems I've lost my focus

I'm empty from the longing
The airy feeling left in my chest
I'm speaking to you with no feeling
Surely I would jest

Its scary to think how much I cared
Everything I sacrificed
All the things I did for your sake
To think I was satisfied

You were like a sweet chocolate
Melting on my tongue
Only to reveal bitterness
Which kind of stung

I can't say I regret it though
Giving you all my time
I would do it all over again
Even if my love isint worth a dime

You know...
I've really grown
Since you left me here alone
I've managed to take your lead
But my sins will not be atoned

Now if I could really go back
I dont think I could
As I have friends that love me now
Life right now is good

I learned from you
And what we had
I noticed now
That our relationship was bad

You know...
Thought its labelled like that
As toxic and deadly
I still loved every moment
You were the first to hold me steady

The first to make me feel such want
intoxicated by the love we had
Drunken off our hearts beating in sync
Even if that was what caused us to sink

We sunk into the depth below
Further down then any man was willing to go
Freely falling into timeless space
throwing away the cruel reality that we both refused to face

You know...
By our ending
Where our ties became undone
Our final page was turned
And the ink had run to none
I loved you

With everything I had
I counted the Stars
Praying for a wish
a wish for eternity to be like this

Though silly wishes that are made upon stars
Dont last for eternity
And they tend to leave nasty scars
Though you left me
My feelings never changed
Even if the curtains have fallen upon the stage

You know....
The play does go on

Why now?
Out all these months, All this time
Why is it now that you think its okay to jump back into my life?
You vanish, I cut off everything for you
I left my heart behind in the dirt
I buried my love six feet underground
To forget you, like you forgot me
But here you are again
Acting as if nothing has changed
My phone gleaming with your messages
And I respond to you in a heartbeat
I have no self control
You're stirring up a storm
Though you don't know the effect
This intoxicating feeling you give to me
With a single word or a call
It sends my heart into flutters
I love you
No, I did love you
I need to stop this now
I can't fall back in again not after everything
Not after what I went through to get out
It hurts too much to try again
but everything about you draws me in
Your striking blue eyes that seem to mirror the sky
Long wavy hair, in a Carmel brown
Soft to the touch, gently running through my fingers
It sends a shiver down my spin to think
But its forbidden to return to that place
To that state of mind and time
We removed that memory
Along with our existence
So why is it now
Why now have you come back?


Please don't come back
because I am still
Unable to Resist

#