i still do not know the poem i've been trying to write and maybe that's because i haven't been writing one at all or maybe it's because the poem i've been trying to write is not ready for paper and maybe i'm the paper that's not ready for it
mom and dad, maybe I was silly for thinking that the seven-hour car ride could replace the tearful goodbye and I should have known that the goodbye doesn’t always have to be filled with tears to hurt because for someone that cries a lot my face stayed rather dry and maybe that’s why it feels like I’m saying goodbye everyday and I grew up in a household where we weren’t allowed to say we were bored because there is always something to do but mom and dad when I say I’m bored I don’t want you to take that word to bed with you I don’t want you to look for the deeper meaning and feel lost because that word does not mean I’m sad because I will tell you if I’m sad It does not mean I’m anxious because i am already anxious when I say that I’m bored It doesn’t mean I’m bored of you, mom and dad. because I could never get bored of the tea drinking, book reading and lazy Sundays we have so, when I say I’m bored what I really mean is thank you thank you for creating me into someone who isn’t afraid to leave someone who isn’t afraid to explore thank you for creating a home for me to come back to when I need a break from exploring and when I say I’m bored It means that I’ve found so much life out there that is worth living It means I’ve found purpose in ripped notebook papers and used books and I’ve found purpose in myself mom and dad, When I say I’m bored It means that I still need all of this life you have built for me but it also means that I now know how to survive without it and I still know that I shouldn’t say I’m bored because there is always something to do thank you for giving me a whole life of things to do i’ll never be bored of you, mom and dad
and all that **** about distance making the heart grow fonder it kind of makes me want to scream because what makes my heart grow fonder is you authentic in person incredible you and when i can't be with you it hurts a type of hurt that i have not yet felt before it's a hurt that makes me feel silly because i should just be lucky that i can have you at all but my heart wants to go to battle with the distance first and i know that i should just let it because i know that in the end my heart will always beat the distance
you have so much to offer this world i could see if from the moment we first met i think if you could just give the world an opportunity to hold you to love you to support you you would be surprised with how much love surrounds you own who you are and others will follow suit.