Am I to quiet,
or am I to loud.
I can’t figure out,
whats going on all around.
I feel like I’ve been taken.
Surrounded in darkness.
Stuck and drowned.
I’m left in my mind,
and I can’t get out.

it's not that I'm antisocial
that I want to be alone
or friends are an intrusion
to my fragile state of mind
it's just that I'm protecting you
from the madness behind
my eyes

you left
and suddenly i realised
why we started naming storms
after people.

Lately my words have felt
like bullets that only
graze the edge of the target.
A feeling of emptiness saturates
my mouth as I speak.

Lately I feel like
the validity of my presence
is tied to some word count.
Like my existence
is an essay that I must write,
I just cannot find the right words.

It knocked
softly
a breath at the door
but I
bolted the windows
and swallowed the key.

It came wearing warmth,
but I mistook it
for fire,
for teeth,
for grief with a new face.

So I fled,
faster than joy
could reach out its hand
afraid it might feel
like home.

It's been raining in my heart all day                                                              ­   storm  clouds gather, growing dark                                                  The  chances of the sun's bright rays                                                        are  looking completely stark                                                            ­       A  thick blanket of fog rolls in                                                               ­       followed by strikes of lightening                                                       ­      A  wave of emotional turbulence                                                       ­  the  storm in my heart's closing the distance

It went quiet
Not because it gave up
Bt because it was saving me.

It felt too much
So it chose silence
Over shuttering.

It held the storm
Behind closed doors
So I could keep breathing.

It's not numb
Just protecting
What's still healing