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  Sep 2015 Alexandria Hope
oni
i am not here
this is not happening
i am a tangle
of stardust
drifting out of
my consciousness

i cannot feel this
you cannot hurt me
i am much
more
than my body
Alexandria Hope Sep 2015
The constellations on my ceiling glow bright for an instant, then fade
And I can count a 1,000 stars in the galaxy, but I know there are 1,001
Because you're next to me
And the way that the moonlight hits your eyelashes, when you breathe
Deeply, oh I can count how many hours we've spent together
But I want to count more
Because the curl of the steam off your coffee just does something to me,
The way that your eyes hood and you smile when you look right through me,
And when we're walking outside, hand in hand, how our fingers fit perfectly
And I want this to be mine, these little bright moments, just to count
So I'll just take my time, don't wake me up, I'm not ready
When my eyes start to droop, and you pull me right to you like a puzzle piece
Like you can't sleep without me,
I just want to be the 1,002nd star in your galaxy.
Alexandria Hope Sep 2015
I ******* all of my friends,
I drink all of their wine,
You think I’m an angel but you’ll find out in time
And the rivers run high and the rivers run deep
You want me to bail you out, with promises I choose not to keep
I’m just a fool for self preservation,
Taking self-prescribed drugs for a vacation
From this hole in my mind, now I’ve ****** you off too
Oh well, I’m a demon, now pass the **** *****
I think I'm a ******* Genius™
Alexandria Hope Sep 2015
California. Land of the In-And-Out, the glitz, the glamour. The noise of traffic to burst the bees out of her hive mind. Okay, so In-And-Out wasn't as good as Biggerton's Burgers. That **** was endorphic, but at least anything was better than nothing.
At least, unlike South Dakota, there didn't seem to be any Llama farms around. She could live with that. It was actually pretty nice in LA. Noisy, hot, next to water. Her pyrite keychain (swiped) dangled from her keys as she turned off the Mustang (swiped, but undeniably hers) and pocketed them. Run-down Motels never went out of season. It would be treason against nature for them to. ******, broken-spring beds and tepid showers, loads better than her backseat though.
It would be easy to take in the habit of throwing trash around her car, she mutters. Half remembering all her garbage dump trips (neighborhood yards and fast food restaurant bathrooms taking the brunt of it). Agent Runaway laughs as she stretches her arms above her head.
There's a base in San Jose. Screaming, electric shocks, experiments. Like her. Just not... successful. With a mad woman on the loose, they've cut back spending. Put it all on her. And what a gamble that was, she hummed. But there were plenty of off-radar, illegal, operating sublets. She'd need one to solder her pretty little mind back together.
Agent Runaway stifled a yawn and clawed her way into her motel room, barely kicking the door shut and collapsing on the bed. In minutes she'd shut down all her sensors, stop listening to the babble of the old woman who'd handed her her keycard at the desk and the squabbling couple next door. She was asleep.
Alexandria Hope Sep 2015
It's 1'o'clock in the morning,
Trying to write a song to make you cry,
I've got lily of the valley and a great deal of golden rings,
But finery never got your attention, did it
I settle for volumes of poetry, and faded out sunlight and rose-colored cheeks
You're still just as inclined to pick another over me
I can't play wallflower forever, you know, for long after your voice
Rings sallow in my ear
But I can get you drunk, and I can steal all your hugs,
And I can promise you lakes and rivers to swim in, and time to abide by
I can show you great monuments and build you sandcastles
I can burn you your toast, and blacken your coffee,
I can make you sleep soft, I can buy you silk sheets, and kiss away the tears
That I strive, inevitably, to bring to your eyes
Alexandria Hope Sep 2015
So I'll try to take control of the darkness again,
If only though, the pen in my hand
If there's nothing to gain, then there's nothing to prove
If there's nothing to lose, then there's nothing to lose
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