She just  sits there
Staring out the window
Wondering if she will ever be good enough
Wondering what the point is anymore
Wondering if she disappeared if anyone would notice, if they would care
Or if they would just go on about their day like normal, like nothing ever happened      
She just sits there          
Staring out the window
Wondering.

How did we go back so easily?
Back to everything we once were.
I think this is what I want,
but what I need is another thing entirely

He carries the scent of
spring and looks prettier
than pearls on a string. He
carries the best kind of beauty
within which makes him differ
from all the other men. She collided
with him as he stirred the chaos
under her skin. Whispering  in
her ear all that hurt you in the past
is about to end. Heat filled up the
room before they knew it they were
surrounded by love fumes. In a room
with just them two they had nothing
much to do. Under the covers they went
and kissed like mermaids lost at sea
clinging on their humanity. He exhaled
his cigarette smoke and she inhaled it in
in the form of poetry. It wasn't planned but
they won't deny they were happier than the
seas clams resting inside under their shells.
Looking at the roses in the vase present in his
room they saw them bowing down after they
saw the view sighing in a big loud aweee they
clapped with their delicate petals shouting out
for an applause. And that was when he decided
to strip off her clothes* ~

the train tracks are empty. I don't know how often one comes. I'd like to say that I've been holding myself together with twine and bits of soil and concrete. I'm barefoot and I've found an array of glass bottles littered over the edges of the track.
All I need is a little warmth which is odd considering it's in the middle of summer and the scorching rays are burning my skin. Everything else seems illegible compared to your eyes and nothing looks real anymore.
I want you to know that when a train comes barreling through these tracks, I will face it with as much faith as I can bear.
I once promised you that I would try and I am trying but I can't cough out the words lodged in my throat because, I think, I've kept them there for too long now. I did promise you that I would try but does it really matter all that much now?
I can hear the train coming - this looks like a nice spot to settle.
I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to do this on my own. I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to look past the lost tenderness that used to grace your eyes.
It's ridiculous really, because I haven't met you yet and there's still an ache in my chestfrom when you left.
I don't know how to do this without you. I don't know how to use the memories of your lack of existence to help myself move from this spot.
I can see the lights approaching.
Please understand. Please understand that I had to do this. Please understand that I had to do this for the sake of my sanity and I can't imagine moving away from these train tracks just to wake up tomorrow to remember that I do not know what it feels like to have loved and be loved by the ghost of you.
Please, I beg of you, forgive me for my past transgressions and forgive me for not being able to quell the pain of never knowing you.
I can hear it now. I can hear the pistons and the rumble of the tracks.
I'll take my leave.
And maybe, if I'm lucky, you'll never realize I was here in the first place.

They are back and I am terrified
Its like a black hole that you can't get away from      
They won't leave me alone
They make me think and feel terrible
They tell me I will never be good enough
Tell me I am not worth it
That I should just end it and no one would care
Maybe they are right, maybe not
That I do not know, but one thing I do know is
I want them to leave me and never come back
Cause I'm tired of feeling this way