all my life
i've been preparing faces
to meet the faces that
i've met

friends
family
the man who delivers newspapers
at our doorstep each morning

i've laughed at their silly jokes
as they tossed their heads from side to side
in naive stupidity and their sheer ignorance
a pompous lot, the human race i tell you

i've acknowledged their staunch morals
and tried to make them my own
as they scorned at the girl in a skimpy dress
and chewed on mutton bones gluttonously

all my life, i've been trying hard
to blend in
with people who've shown me
that i don't belong with them

and tonight when i shed gallons of tears
i have only my bed and pillow to share
i've learnt that my sadness
is my very own

I haven’t written you
poems in days,
and I feel as if
my bones are going
to break, with
all the soul I carry
within my chest

I miss you.

harder than you
would’ve thought

even when I shouldn’t
even when I haven’t gone
even when I have kept
you within the confines
of this prison cell,
held back by
a bony cage of ribs

I miss you.

and I do not know what to do
with my hands, because
you are the only thing
they want

is you, is you, is you
– it has always been

my life has always been defined
by your person, and it
has been built around you

missing you comes like
the cold gust of a November wind

…like the way coffee smells at three
in the morning, warm and comforting
but never, never enough
and missing you is like the way
my voice breaks when I tell you
i love all of you to
unhearing, useless ears