today, we are eternity.
yesterday, infinity.
tomorrow, transient.

I want to drive down quiet streets in
Oversized sweaters with our oversized dreams,
Standing through the sunroof and letting our
thoughts fly away on the wind.

I want to take a breath as I never have before,
Inhale deeply, getting high off of starlight.
And if you choose to leave, or if you choose to stay,
That is up to you, for it only means
More room for me.

More room to spread my wings and let life carry me away,
Room to experience every shade of grey;
Because we aren’t painting rainbows with our alabaster hearts,
Not hearts of gold nor silver tears.
We are only colored by where we start,
and I think I will start today.

Start with the streetlights passing overhead,
Let their orange glow change grey to red,
And remember that color pumps through my veins
Creating new artwork every day.

I want neon lights to stoke my restless soul,
Letting me live and breathe, letting me let go.
Purples and greens, everything in between,
painting a mural of oversized dreams.

I tilt my head back and close my eyes, smiling back at
Forsaken skies,
Breathing in and breathing out, forgetting what
I think about.
Because all I see is me and Me, driving down the quiet streets,
Standing through the sunroof with an oversized dream,
forgetting that life could forget about me.

Recipe for Disaster:
         1 cup blame, directed away from yourself
         2 tsp of emotional manipulation
         1/4 cup of freshly squeezed fake apologies
         1/8 tsp of spite
         3 cups of self-hatred, projected onto somebody else
         1/2 cup of anxiety, rooted in insecurity
         A pinch of miscommunication
         1 tbsp of false hope
         A healthy dash of passive aggression to taste
         A splash of whiskey
         -- halve the empathy

Directions:
         1. Combine ingredients and simmer until completely evaporated.
         2. Apologize and start again.
         3. Repeat steps one and two.

i wait and wait but you never show
my heart is ice
my thoughts are snow

people say what’s lost isn’t coming back,
but I don’t believe that’s true.
                                                           ­  if they can search for the holy grail,
                                                          ­                     then I can search for you.

these private moments are the ones i appreciate the most,
midnight vanilla and flickering flames,
cross-legged on my bed with sugar on my tongue,
music playing,
keys clicking.

these private moments are the ones i appreciate the most,
stolen in between the waking hours,
my own personal party just before the dawn.

Simple words cannot describe what you are,
A beautifully complex human so unlike any I have ever seen.

You are rain on the windows at dusk, dripping softly
into puddles and filling them up.
You are watching the sunset on a pier after a long day of laughing;
My ice cream drips down my hand, but I hardly even notice.
You are the peace in hiking up the hillside alone,
Standing over the town and taking a deep breath because you know
you are never truly alone.
You are big windows over city lights, beautiful, bright, and picturesque.
You are the purple-pink lilac sky, ribbons over rain-soaked grass,
sunflowers and dewdrops and soft beneath the fingertips.
You are sunshine on the lake, shining brilliant and blinding,
warm, content, endless.
You are the drives where the windows are down and the music is so loud
I can’t even hear myself sing,
Everything I know and everything I fear getting lost in the rearview mirror.
You are a warm cup of tea on a dreary day, pixie lights and poetry.
You are lying in bed after a day is gone, intertwined with our heads together,
breathing soft, feeling you close to me.
You are the moonlight and the stars that dot the sky, the ones I always stop to stare at,
open-mouthed in your driveway, forgetting to ring the bell.

Simply put:
        you, my dear, are everything.
        everything and so much more.