In my chest resides a heavy weight,
rage and pain stir as I contemplate
if you're worth the ache
I've been feeling these last few days

I yearn for a taste of you
and yet I just want you to leave
so this pain may cease

And in the heat of my own hate
I can feel myself suffocate
Loving you and leaving you
are just the same,
different phrases
with the same name

But never will you reduce me
to be completely desperate for you
never will I plead on my knees
for the return of
someone who never learns.
My anger you cannot sedate
and when you'll crave my forgiveness
It might just be too late.

She's dark, yet
moonlight glows
inside her soft-eyes
& despite her
tragic-aura,
I still want
her blackness,
to taste her magic,
to kiss
the devil inside her.

nobody warns you about the first boy who tells you he wants to marry you.

nobody warns you about the tangible shift in the universe when he parts his lips to smile.

nobody warns you about the poetry he'll write you or how your knees will weaken or the melancholy hidden between the layers of his laughter.

nobody warns you that miles will morph into lightyears and you will curse the ocean for being the only thing that keeps his fingers from resting between yours.

nobody warns you about the day his sweater doesn't smell like him anymore.

nobody warns you that human hands are incapable of holding a person together.

nobody warns you that sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much you wish it was.

nobody warns you about the crippling nostalgia that renders you breathless.

nobody warns you about the nights when silence screams for your blood.

nobody warns you about the crater that forms in your chest in the middle of the night when he doesn't answer.

nobody warns you about how it's going to feel when he tells you he's in love with someone else.

nobody warns you that forever is a lie.

- m.f.

The rose we're told is often red,
the image set deep in our head,
but what if it were pink or blue,
or something of a darker hue?

The rose we're told is often red,
the symbol of true love its said,
but what of pain or baser needs,
the lust for deep and sordid deeds?

The rose we're told is often red,
the petals scattered on the bed,
but what if we could change the track,
and have the petals painted black?

maybe it's okay. i think sorrow suits me -
i sabotage happiness.
pour gasoline all over it and
kick at it and
provoke it.
i can't sit still with happiness like i can with sorrow.
it doesn't make me write or think. happiness doesn't fit my heart quite right. it never has.
i can be alone, you know.
i can be alone and i can be sad and i can take my pain in large and crippling doses
and i can sit still and let it all catch me and wash over me and rip me apart
and i can let the stitches come undone
and i can let it seep into my heart and make me feel the blackest things you can imagine.
i have that capacity.
i'm that type of person.
and in the end i can let it right back out again -
it's like breathing in that way. i've learned to manage my pain, after all these years of having it.
it's not new to me - just yours is fresher
and maybe worse than what i've had before,
but it's not a novelty.
it comes
and it goes
tide in
tide out
crippling
then fine
then crippling,
and i will sit and i will let it take me and i will feel what i'm feeling and i will think what i think and i will live with it like i've always lived with it, and i will not hurry to heal, and i will not force any sort of happiness, because people need sorrow like they need oxygen. it is something real and necessary and raw. i can feel it and still survive. i can let it in and let it back out again, and i will be fine. and i don't need you to know that. and i don't need to tell you. and i don't need anyone to worry. because this is part of what i do, and how i am, and i can control my dosage, and i can control my suffering.
it suits me.
it does.

He watches her sleep peacefully,
Her warm chest rise and fall,
Her kind heart beating rhythmically,
In answer to love’s call.

He thinks back to the darker days,
His cold and lonely youth,
His time spent in a silent daze,
Lost in depressing truth.

He dreamt of love and happiness,
A world where pain could end,
A life without the emptiness,  
Where broken hearts can mend.

He looks back at this fragile form,
This angel in disguise,
This creature that could tame a storm,
With nothing but her eyes.

He curls up close beside her now,
To gently draw her near,
To feel her breath so soft and slow,
And drift in love so dear.

Close your eyes for just one moment
Breath in deeply, the sweetness of the ocean air
Walk hand in hand with me along its sandy shore
Let us bask in the glow of the moonlight as it dances along the waves

Sit with me and wrap your arms around me
Making me feel safe and warm
Let me feel your breath as it touches my skin
Whispering your feelings to me

Placing your soft kisses along my collarbone
Entwining your fingers with mine
I close my eyes
Allowing myself to get drunk off of your scent

I whisper softly that I love you
and in turn you say you are mine
Make a wish as you see the star fall
You tell me you can't because it already came true

I smile and lay my head to rest upon your chest
You wrap your arms around me again
and place a kiss upon my forehead
I am yours and you are mine