I’m just sick of people not appreciating me

I do everything I can to make someone feel like they are doing great
And I never get that in return
I smile to them and I talk to them
I tell them they are amazing
I encourage them

And I get nothing in return.
Am I worthless? Why don’t people care about me? I try my best. Why isn’t that enough? I just want to be appreciated by someone.

I just want someone.
To make me feel less alone
Even if it’s just looking at my body
And sexting over the phone.
Make me feel worth something
Even if it’s my body.
Tell me what you’d do to me.
I wont tell anybody.
I wanna feel used and abused
I’ll be your little kink.
Rough me up good,
Getme to the brink.

I am who I am.
I just need someone to tell me my body is beautiful.
I need someone to tell me I can get it.
Someone to smash instead of pass.
Someone to tell me how hard I make them.
I want them inside me.
I want you.

It took me seven years
to realise
the words in my mind
were too deep for
my mouth to dig up
I thought it was easier
to open my skin
and let the truth
pour down my arms

It took me seven years
to realise
nobody should be allowed
to touch parts
of your home
or hold pieces  
of your heart
that you don't yet understand

It took me seven years
to realise
I will wear these scars
forever
I'll carry them
through every smile
every kiss
every concerned gaze
I'll carry them
to my grave

It took me seven years
to realise
the pain carved
into the walls
of my castle
etchings of
attempting to disappear
are not a story of weakness
but a tale of
how I survived