She told me she remembers fondly when she looks back
And I'm glad she has that but I have enough phantoms in my past
And I still remember the way she looked standing in the window hair halo'd with light smile sun dappled as she laughed
But nothing lasts
So im left alone again and fractured as if nothing mattered
Just another **** regret
Damage collateral

Cold snap,
winter waxing
last leaves fallen,
flapping,
winds gasping
pass through
restless grasses,
pastures
frozen fast,
snow like radioactive ashes,
apparition after
ghastly disaster passes.

Buried
epitaph and casket
resuscitated
capillary action
but heart beat,
******, battered,
fractured,
cracked in half,
practically shattered
by dying's
cataclysms
catastrophes,
calamities and accidents;
nerves wracked,
lacerations, lashes,
wounds vacant and vacuous
left vast gaps
except for shrapnel
trapped in skin,
flak became
embedded artifacts
I can't detach,
collateral gathered
from each battle and attack.

But I don't bleed lachrymose
splattered abstract;
no, more like a
tree tapped,
molasses saturating
gnarled bark,
honey laquered sap
sickly sweetened,
saccharine
heals these wounds
like plaster,
scar tissue grafted,
the wood will just be splinters
crafted into matchstick castle rafters,
stacked massive
even if the
scaffolding and ladders rattle,
platforms shiver,
teeth chatter to the attic,
bones become the real bastion;
not an empty and dilapidated house
but home
more like a holy chapel,
halls of hardened crystal
carved from alabaster, marble,
lapis, sapphire, and jasper–
an earthly masterpiece
carried upon the back of
an Atlas stature.

God forbidden dimwitted idiot
oddly created in his image
as if he could ever pity or give a ****
about every illegitimate kid of his;
no wisdom hidden in riddles,
just my own illiterate scribbling
littered with inner criticisms.

Soon season's truth
cruelly lingers, looms,
moves to darken daylit view;
as dusk encroaches, colors move,
hues reduced and trees left mute.

You cannot wish
or want or choose
wildflowers too
wont wilt where grew
as if futilely doomed
once winter wounds
will chill to ruin,
beauty we lose
illuminated only by
a cold white moon.

For springtime comes
and i swear to you
no matter what we knew
or became so used to
amidst the weeds
our heirloom seeds
still bloom anew–
if only wait,
I'll prove to you.

Seeds scattered
gather the courage
to germinate, emerge
as fertile, verdant trees
of evergreen and birch,
breeze's tease and flirt
enough to render
Earth fractured–
shattered.

Underneath the dirt
remorse's corpse interred,
lurking thoughts linger,
yet something within me
still stirs and burns;
searching the surface
for touch, tender.

Heart murmurs
but not as
a murmuration of starlings depart,
more like crows murdered;
buzzards, vultures circling birds
conjured–
the curse unburied torture,
no dying words in final dirge
and yet it yearns
for yesterday's return.

Memories my mind blurs,
senses fervently usurped–
but time can never
be reversed,
this cistern's nature
gushing to a turbulent river,
water's surging,
turgid current, pure;
about to die of thirst,
this dam soon fills to burst,
my love i spill and purge
as i remember her.

I was an earlier version
of an imperfect person,
a scourge
of that I stand assured,
but this pain is
terminal,
permanent,
and the only cure
is her laughter,
rapture,
or feeling
fragile fingers,
shelter–
you certainly weren't the first heartbreak I've had
but **** it hurts the worst.

Loneliness lamented,
never exempt from
tremendous emptiness,
relentless against
hellbent descent
of my own invention;
entrenched in
mental torment
taking up every tenement residence,
detention condemns.

But
mid November
summer still incenses,
in sun scented
memories
tempted by your
gentlest remnants
still renders me
senseless.

Daydreamt,
ephemeral,
almost replenishes and mends
until
heart hemorrhaging
becomes a
drenching tempest,
like a fist clenching
tension
holding onto your
absence
and some semblance of
what you meant
and yet
goodbye
you went
again.

Orange
dancing lady slippers
perform uncoordinated
reblooming of dormant orchids;
warm and cordial in
informal candor
but agoraphobic
from misfortune;
mourning and remorseful
over flowers wilting, mortal.

Daybreak aurora
portent of
sunlight to come,
but stuck northward,
scorching corneas
in torrid dysphoria.

Organism born
horticulturally
disproportioned
and poorly formed,
origin in morbid horror;
cerebral cortex
its own torture,
the mortician
orphaning the organs
from the corpus;
stored in morgue,
torched in crematorium,
vivisected immemorial.

Stems and tendrils incorrigible,
disorganized into
deplorable ****
of tangled discord
clumsily running its course,
corsage and bouquet
aborted in accord.

Important shortage
warrants foraging
for resources
hoarded by some
abhorrent lord;
crowning court this
monarch's consort,
sordid and immoral,
keeping score like some
sick and sadistic sport;
reinforcing order of what's normal,
stronghold cordoned to conform.

Pollinating
swarm of hornets,
buzzing orchestra
of wings in chorus
quarreling with silence,
their scorpion stings absorbed;
stabbed, pierced, and gored.

Like a tortoise
slowly inching forward, torpid,
morass forbids;
roots exploring floorboards,
divorcing into a gorge,
fingers blindly implore
contours of the walls
searching for the door.

But drawn and quartered,
blossoms' florid
and ornate frame contorted,
warping its own portrait;
assorted torment transforming
efflorrescent, metamorphic.

Dwarfing, enormous,
and soaring towards orbit,
forty story high
arboreal forest
flourishing before us;
gorgeous morning glory,
thorny laurel adorning.

Forthwith,
storming windows' glass,
bastille, and castle supports;
warring against fortress
though swordless,
never resorting to forfeit until
entire territory terraformed
into floral orchard-
fragrant and vibrant aura
rewarding victoriously.