Brooke S

Brooke S May 2020

Reject

If I don't return the call
it's because you never wanted to make it in the first place
and I know that

If you don't see me at the party
I didn't lose the invite
or forget the address
it's because you never wanted to invite me in the first place
and I know that

I have experience in staying in on Saturday nights
I have no problem with being alone
it's better than feeling alone in a crowd
that's what I tell myself
and I know that

But maybe if I would of returned the call
and went to the party
maybe the memories could of filled my head
instead of all of this noise
and I know that

I brush my hair and go to sleep
rejection looks a lot like looking in the mirror

sometimes you are your own worst reject

#reject #personal

Brooke S May 2020

Sanctuary

I lived in my sanctuary,
handmade, using materials with lifetime warranties
intricately and precisely I carved the pieces of my soul into softwood, sealing in all the cracks so nothing else could get in
I put up mosaic windows using all the coloured pieces I had, letting the light shine through and illuminate only the parts that I wanted to see
you can make anything seem more beautiful than it is
when you need to
but the walls that sheltered me from past storms weren't meant to last forever,
even though it took all my strength to put them up
And it took just as long to break down the sanctuaries I built up in my head, as it did to build them

its okay to be attached to the way you used to survive

#life #personal

Brooke S May 2020

Please, will you wait for me?

I took the matches that I found
and I burned everything down,
it burned so hot that I could not see
all the damage around
all the places, all the faces, all the used to be's
all in ruins on the ground,
but I was blind, I could not see.
And in the darkness I could not find
a single thing that could make some light
it lasted so long I forgot how to breathe
then all the air inside of me
turned me to stone.
But I will not ask you where to go,
I will just ask one thing;
when you are there but I cannot see,
and if I am not who I used to be,
if all that we found seems out of reach,
please, will you wait for me?

#love #fear #anxiety #life #personal

Brooke S Apr 2020

Of All Time

You are a wanted man,
but no one wants you as much as me
wreck this ship at sea
and I will jump into the ocean
blue as your eyes, just to be by your side
Oh you are my greatest love of all time

A thousand kisses
A thousand more, my talisman.
Darling I adore your touch
trace my body with your hands, incase I never love again,
bury me in your crimes
Oh you are my greatest love of all time

200 years and 20 more
if history repeats itself
I will meet you there again
And I will save your life
over and over
And you will save mine
You are my greatest love of all time

I just finished binge watching outlander and Claire and Jamie’s relationship really inspired me. It makes you think about the concept of fate and how it brings you to the people and the places you are meant to be. So I wrote this about them.

#fate #love #outlander

Brooke S Jan 2019

Five years

Balloons and glitter in the air
sparkly dresses and countdowns
I don't know how I survived
I said after all these years
you would think the cold air would feel less harsh on my skin
but this time it lingers
letting itself in
and I'm so scared of what's to come
I guess all I can do is try and stay warm regardless of the red of my cheeks
and the trembling of my hands
and five years
goes by so fast
and so, so slowly
when you're waiting for your chest to unthaw
waiting for the summer to come
and the year to be new

Happy new year

#new #year #personal #poem #anxiety

Nov 2018

Simpleton

That's when I knew

Love didn't end wars
It started them