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82 · Apr 2020
Dead Inside
Brie Williams Apr 2020
All roads lead to nowhere
If nowhere is somewhere I don’t want to be
If home is an empty box
If you are a fleeting glance
And I fall for it every time
Because god said no
Even when I tried
Even when you tried
Time after time
With each failed test
Destined for loneliness
Dead inside
82 · Nov 2019
Just one
Brie Williams Nov 2019
I can't love just one person
I tried for a long time
My mind wanders and my heart aches
I find myself leaning on your shoes
I find myself smelling your hair
The therapist says I'm bored
I know what would fix it
She suggests painting
I don't want to paint
I don't want to knit
I'd like to see him again
I will see him again
But I can't be with him
And I can't think of him
And I can't love just one person
82 · Feb 2020
Broken heart
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Do you miss it?
You shouldn't
It's hectic
And wrong
It's an all day long
Thing
It's a
Don't say anything
Kind of thing
But do you miss it?
Do you miss sneaking out
And coming to me
And me talking to you
You almost ******* on me
Do you remember the way
That I'd stare at you
You're beautiful Alex
**** what they do
You say you don't miss it
But I kind of do
I miss sneaking around and waiting on you
I miss touching your hand and holding your shoe
I miss feeling around
I miss the feeling of new
And I don't know anymore
I don't know what to do
Because I miss it so much
And I'm still missing you
82 · Apr 2021
Sand Stings
Brie Williams Apr 2021
You’re calm like the shore line
Always changing though
I’m topsy turvy
Crashing and splashing
Into you
At full speed
Salt burns me
But slaps you harder
Bleeding pores
Close another chapter
81 · Feb 2020
I'm Lonely
Brie Williams Feb 2020
I miss you
And I do
Like you
I don't know why
I didn't want to
And the worst part
Is you know I like you
I absolutely hate that you do
Because now you can do what you want to
To my heart
And my soul
And my brain
I'm not good at hiding from you
Because I'm lonely
And I miss you
81 · Feb 2020
Thursday
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Drinking big blood afternoon
I saw you put your puzzle in the oven
I’d like to take that weight from you
Find my number in the coven
Take the electronic air
Rub it on your chest
Green pastures blue fields
And still I’m not impressed
80 · Feb 2020
Tonight
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Your head between my thighs
Your tongue between my lips
Knees squeezing your shoulders tight
I could get used to this
80 · Jan 2020
Boxes
Brie Williams Jan 2020
What good is pretty when you're trapped in a box
The earth starts shaking and your nails keep growing
They're always watching you twist and throw up
The bed is always white and there's nicotine yellow walls
I used to think about you when I was laying in the floor
I thought that maybe rain would fall and the lock would fall off the door
80 · Apr 2020
Never
Brie Williams Apr 2020
I’ll never be
Good enough
To anyone
No matter
How far down they are
I climb lower and lower
This time I dropped
And still
I am nothing
79 · Dec 2019
Before the Light
Brie Williams Dec 2019
Trying to sleep 16 hours a day
Is hard when your mind is hooked on decay
Walking all day back and forth in a hall
Hurts a little bit when the tile starts to crawl
You can't feel when you're starting to sleep but everytime I do my nose starts to bleed
Wish I was with somebody knew but I can't get you to let go of this noose
Would be nice if I could have the other guy
But I'm at a different place in my life
And he's in a situation just trying to survive
And everytime we talk I have to justify
Why it's all okay and it's not that wrong ok now goodnight
79 · May 2020
Overgrown
Brie Williams May 2020
Trying but the shade is gone
Take it long and take it home
Wishes are all overgrown
You can still make me moan
Thinking like a scientist
Crying like a baby fit
Tell me why it is like this
Tell me why I feel like ****
79 · Nov 2020
Change
Brie Williams Nov 2020
So much change
In my heart
In my day
So happy
With you gone
Is that wrong to say
79 · Feb 2020
Sacrifice
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Stab my heart
Please
Just take it from me
Rip it out
Hold it above my body
And let the blood drop down your face
Take a bite
If you'd like
So sweet
Sweeter than you thought it would be
Syrupy sweet sticky honey and crunch
Let it bleed from your tongue as you ****
**** it with no teeth the way I ****** you when you asked me
Look back down at my body
And tell me again how much you really wanted me
79 · Mar 2021
Hindrance
Brie Williams Mar 2021
Lemons fall from fig trees higher
I can’t hear you feel me cryer
Tell me why I always like to try
Cut my leg you said it’s my thigh
There’s all the places I want to be
Take my hand or fall for me
It’s always the wrong wall
I’m too busy for the call
78 · Feb 2020
What else's
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Twilight moon
Cool brisk air
Your hand in my hair
Your hand, too soon
Begrudgingly
I walk by your side
It doesn't feel right
Like surgery
I'd love to be your *****
I don't like you
But I want to
Is there anything more
78 · Feb 2020
Ladder
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Dark and cold
I saw a ladder
Towering so high
My neck, it broke
Power and status waved down to me
As I climbed onto your empty body
So gold and friendly at the top
I just have to get up up up
While you stroke down down down
I just have to hold tight
and hide my frown
Tongue like a tack
**** causes laughter
Staring at the floor
Waiting for after
Tile that hugs
Walls that judge
I'm ready to climb back down
78 · Feb 2020
Childish
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Hop scotch
Drip watch
Have you
Called the boss
Have you
Walked along
Along the road
Along the pier
Can you take me far from here
77 · Feb 2020
Chains
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Chains on my neck
This isn't what I expected
Fruit at my feet
And I have to pick it
The days that have passed
The hands on the clock
Don't tick for me any longer
77 · Mar 2020
Something I held onto
Brie Williams Mar 2020
I like to be tasted by you
And bent into two
Thrown across the room
Legs shaking
You’re cruel
I like to be slapped
And tapped
And told I’m nothing more than trash
I like to be held down
Let down
Laughed at
Not allowed to make a sound
I like the way you pound
Into me
I like the way you make me feel
77 · Feb 2020
17
Brie Williams Feb 2020
17
You tear my heart in two
I tear yours too
Seventeen
77 · Mar 2020
Dad
Brie Williams Mar 2020
Dad
In every man
I find you
Someone who’s lazy yet controlling too
Someone who hates me and loves me
Someone who beats me and ignores me
Someone who takes and gives nothing
Someone who cries when they’re lonely
To make me feel guilty and empty
Crazy
In every man
I find you
No matter how hard I try to lose you
77 · Mar 12
Small Talk
Brie Williams Mar 12
Pretentious
And entitled
Making me sick
No humility
No self awareness
Ever persists
Like a plant
that can’t
Dig through the soil
Lay dead
77 · Feb 2020
AT
Brie Williams Feb 2020
AT
I just wish
I didn't spin
in circles
I just wish
I wasn't so dumb
Fall into your arms
Spread my legs
I just wish
I didn't get wet
every time I hear your
Name
77 · Jan 11
5 o’clock
Brie Williams Jan 11
When the sun sets
And the curtains are closed
When the table is set
And expressions froze
I think of you
And your absence
You and your careless attitude
What more can I do
**** **** **** and lose the only leverage I have over you
Ignore you and watch you not notice
Regretting leaving myself open
With each minute is a jab
With each jab, a stab
And the blood looks a lot like tears
76 · Feb 2020
Whore
Brie Williams Feb 2020
I know you're just a little girl
That really makes me sad
You act like a *****
Probably no dad
And I still love you
But I wish you'd laugh a little quieter
I wish I'd kept you in your shell
I know exactly how you're feeling
When they're dancing around you
You feel like a conquerer
You feel like a general burning down a city
You feel like
A man
And then when it's over
And you're home alone
You feel a little bit sick
You feel like you just danced naked for cents
And your mom calls you to dinner
And you just want to cry
I know how you feel
And I guess that's why I'm so angry inside
You dance beautifully baby
You're smart and you're kind
You could burn any city but you won't leave it behind
And that's why you're weak
And I'm weak
And that's why we cry
But when you disrespect me
My empathy turns to pride
75 · Nov 2020
Sad story
Brie Williams Nov 2020
Beautiful billy
Wish you didn’t have a tag punched through your ear
Wish you weren’t strapped and attached
Wish you weren’t Zooted and booted
Wish you weren’t locked and loaded
But that the path that’s been chosen
Red or blue
Blue or red
Guns twirling and gang signs flying
You’re just another body
Sheet covered
In the street
Lying
75 · Jan 10
Regrets
Brie Williams Jan 10
You’re a two car garage
A never do I have to ask do you still like me
You’re a bed is always made breakfast at 7
You’re a glasses on the nightstand with a book kind of man kind man
You’re the stability that I ran from and now crave
Joke is on me
My bed has been made
And you stare at me
But I dare not taste
I dare not taste that sip of watery water
That saltless bread
The missionary with the lights off ***
The how are you everyday
And I keep pulling you in
And I keep pulling you in
Even though I’m not allowed to touch
75 · Jan 11
Too late
Brie Williams Jan 11
Your cursive outlines the scratch of my pen
Which scribbles through my brain an ideal life of us together but my gestures remain in vain because you won’t give in
75 · Mar 2021
In Love With An Idea
Brie Williams Mar 2021
One I couldn't create
75 · Jan 10
Growth
Brie Williams Jan 10
Watching you look for your keys used to be my cue to plead
but now I just think hurry please
74 · Nov 2019
Unavailable
Brie Williams Nov 2019
You make my heart stop
Then jump
High
Higher than you
Hi
How are you
And I know that you
Are always
Happy
With me
A drink of water
Discretionary
And I am unavailable
Because you are unobtainable
74 · Jan 10
Service
Brie Williams Jan 10
Thank you for looking my way
It was the only compliment I got today
Though I gave 10
To the one paid to love me
Please give me more
I crave your gratuity
74 · Mar 2020
Every time
Brie Williams Mar 2020
You call my name
And I come
74 · Feb 2020
Billie
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Nicotine walls
Tarot cards on your desk
Cigarettes in a row
Whiskey on your breath
You just don't feel love
You're waiting for death
All the hair you cut off
To put in your spells
Is catching up to you
Now that you're in hell
And all the bruises you gave
We're given to you first
By man after man and woman since birth
It's a shame and it's sad
Of what came to be
Egg shells on your floor would break if you'd breathe
And I know it's hard to live in such tension
And the road that leads to hell is paved with good intentions
74 · Mar 2020
Someone New
Brie Williams Mar 2020
I talk about *** a lot these days
But I’m getting
None
From you
Or anyone
Though I could
And I almost did
Last night
With someone new
In their lap
My tongue between their lips split two
Your hands upon my hips
Slide through
For months
I’d have ****** the man I knew
But flop and soft
What did I do?
My hands in your hair
My **** leaking
And you
So hard
So eager
So new
73 · Feb 2020
Family Picnic
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Warm winter day
Volleyball
***** socks
Too much makeup
Your foot on my arm
The girl who can't stop spinning
A cacophony of gossip
Coffee on the porch
Too many pills
Trips to the store
Hiding cigarettes
Hiding lighters
Can I use yours yet
Crying because of husbands
Spending because of husbands
Handsy uncles
Handsy aunts
More coffee?
Yes. please.
How's your job
It's the best.
I get love and love and love
No regrets
Competition
**** waving
Sunday night
Driving home
73 · Mar 7
Dreaming again
Does it feel right?
Always
And is it?
Never
A touch of the hand or a brush of the sweater
A look in your eyes makes me come
untethered
And I know it’s right
But it can be
Never
73 · Feb 2020
I've Lost the Plot
Brie Williams Feb 2020
You ask me what I did before
I don't know
I wrote and sold
I cried
I fought alot
I yelled
I didn't spend my time waiting around
for people as small as you
But what can I do
I can't help it
I've lost the plot
73 · Feb 2020
The train sound
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Whirling around
Buzzing
The sound
Of the interstate
Muffles out the train
Pouring through my bathroom vent
The roar
The
Ex
Plo
Sion
The time for work sound
The I never would've thought it was you
It's always you
And when I think of you
You appear
And I really do want you
Because you want me
73 · Mar 2021
Testing
Brie Williams Mar 2021
Cold ham on the table. Its Wednesday night. He got in just a little late. 5:35. She doesn’t say where have you been? She doesn’t notice the time. How was your day is the only thing shell say. Because shes trained. You see, in the south and oh don’t I know this will be an argument, “Oklahoma ain’t the south, it’s the Midwest!” I don’t want to argue about where Oklahoma is geographically located. The south is a place beyond the Mississippi river or the Ozarks. The south is getting beat for not lying and screamed at for not smiling. Nothing, a warm afternoon on the front porch wont fix. Well the ham might be cold but not as cold as the iced tea that I waited to make until I heard the car door slam. Placed on the table by his plate, it sits and waits. Now here am i. skin and bone, a kerosene lit by hate inside my eyes waiting to eat not much but some so maybe one day ill be as thin as my mother. But how can I ever be as thin as my mother when all she eats is a glass of carrot and apple juice every day at 4. 11 years old but I cant fit that xsmall dress that dad  bought mom for their anniversary at the central mall. Maybe because im a B cup, almost a c cup. Mom gets jealous of all of me except my thighs.
72 · Mar 2021
Peeling a Heart
Brie Williams Mar 2021
I know how to peel a heart
It's a punch and a kick with a bite and a twist at the end
It's the blood on my face that I don't see til morning
I know how to peel it fast and quick
A tear and a rip
A triumphant roar I scream at you
Watching you dance the same dance with the same man twirling out of the frying pan and into the arms of the fire again
With charcoal toes I hear you call again
I know how to peel a heart
But what good is it when each time I peel yours I peel mine too
72 · Jan 11
Change in Direction
Brie Williams Jan 11
Trying to be good all the time
To not shine in your eyes
To stop before I cry
And think for you

Wanting
Something so much more
My heart won’t be ignored
I can’t believe I stopped and went for you
72 · Mar 10
No Thank You This Time
Brie Williams Mar 10
Crawling toward a light
A little warm light
Campfire lantern stuck in time
When the glow hits my hands I start to dance
Will I ever change
Don’t patronize me
Get off your bended knee
I don’t need you on the same level as me
My eyes are not the things I’m hoping you see
My thighs are the size they are for your hands to squeeze
And I’ve had many days of bruises on them
And many days of milky white
Don’t small talk with me
Don’t tell me what you want me to hear
I see you hanging on my words
It’s cute
And as soon as it’s in my grasp
It becomes my responsibility
71 · Feb 2020
Thighs
Brie Williams Feb 2020
So wet
Are my thighs
After talking to you
All afternoon
And night
And even as
Repulsive as I find you
I can't help but ***
Upon hearing your name
71 · Jan 10
Knocked Down
Brie Williams Jan 10
Pea hen high
Shot down
Doesn’t fly
Quite
So much anymore
Still the same color
Feathers much fuller
But still she lay from their ray
71 · Feb 2020
Stupid
Brie Williams Feb 2020
Sitting lonely in a tire swing
She looks at you and you look at me
I'm not the type to start crying
So I just look down helplessly
You always thought scrying was going to keep yourself from drying out
Like if you could see far enough
You wouldn't
Have to sweat it out
You're a trigger pulling mad man
Spies on every corner
And you make me want to *****
You make me want to *****
71 · Feb 2020
Eyelet
Brie Williams Feb 2020
I bleed
And I cut
Every inch of your lust
You make me want to die inside
You make me cry on my way home
You made me flip 3 times
Why do I
Get found by men like you
Men that like to pull thread through your needle
I wish I could stab it into you
71 · Jan 10
Yuletide
Brie Williams Jan 10
Christmas play
Making me feel
1945
Jolly rock Christmas tree bluebird
I hope you sing loud all week long
71 · Jan 10
Filled
Brie Williams Jan 10
Maybe I should write plainly
I do not love you
Yet
I’d like for you to love me
70 · Mar 2020
Mom
Brie Williams Mar 2020
Mom
My mother
Drinks like a fish
And lies like a dog
My mother
Stabs deep and twists
And twists
I scream before I go under but you push me in
Which I could forgive had you not been smiling
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