Not good enough
Not quite suffice
I saw you walk toward me
Pointing your newly sharpened knife
And as I braced for impact
I remembered I’m not even good enough
to penetrate

Do you understand how hard it is to flet the son of the big lililahoo in the night of the spinetines upon the darlamays oh but what a fine time it is to sway to beat of the *** *** drums once we are relieved of this fiesome pin in!

My mother
Drinks like a fish
And lies like a dog
My mother
Stabs deep and twists
And twists
I scream before I go under but you push me in
Which I could forgive had you not been smiling

Always wanted an affair
Fingers brushing through my hair
Cologne on my clothes
Makeup on your collar
I enjoy
Every
Bit
Except the part where you go home
To not my home
You’ll never leave her
I’ll never leave him
But I was born for an affair
Something forbidden
Something that screams you must really want me

You give me things
And he's just a boy
You want a ring
He wants a toy
But when I close my eyes
At night
I love him

I say we’re opposites
You say opposites attract
I say I’m over you
You say you feel attacked
I say come back
And you say what’s new
I say your opinions are not facts
You say in fact they’re all facts
And I think your brain is cracked
And we’re through
But I’m always sorry
And you are too
And it works okay as long as you say we do

The couch, so soft
My foot is stuck
Between the pillows
You forgot to fluff

Take your hands away from me
Please
Don't
You ever think about the repercussions of your actions
Don't talk to me that way
Please
Keep telling me why I'm your favorite
If we could just have one moment together
Our lives would crumble
To nothing
Would change be so bad?
At this point I'm not sure
I think
And then I see you everyday

It starts with a drip down my leg
My ******* wrapped around your hand
Your bruise on my neck
The sound of my heart beating in my head
Your eyes lit up
My legs spread
Your tongue licking and *******
Me shaking and pushing
Yes means no
And no means yes
It ends with a drip down your leg

Thought the bell would ring
No
Thought the bird would sing
No
Can’t believe me
So deceiving
Everything I felt not true
From infatuation to who are you
I can’t make up my mind
And I already had made you mine

Joe McCormick never lies
He's honest
And caring
He carries good vibes
He tells us his stories
And takes lots of shrooms
He tells us he loves us but he's not in the mood
I cut myself open and say look at me
You're the dad I never had
You're the calm in all my dreams
Joe McCormick barely works
But he has alot of degrees
He writes until he's bored and then he smokes some ****
He misses California
He misses LSD
But now he's married and aging
Hoping no one sees

Go **** Yourself

Pink socks
And bows
Silly ******

Have a little dignity
Or weep a little song
Of failure
As I sink into morbidity
Inject me full of hope
While I find a **** to ****
I could be mute
As long as I let you in my thighs

Beaten down like a path full of powdery dirt with lumps and holes throughout the earth
Quiet now because age has laid its hand on my head and told me to rest
Still angry
In my heart
In my soul
Watching and reading a life wading in a brook

Red river keeps finding his way back between my thighs
Yes, I know it’s a guy
Because there’s  laughter when the chunky parts shake on my thighs
did I wait too long
Am I really dry?
Is it bad to want, if even just out of spite?
I was hoping I could just go
It wouldn’t take too long to just know
It could come crawling out my heart like you crawled into my soul
But instead I just get told no

My play dough heart don’t know no more than cherry mash and two by fours
And overalls and pecan pies
And dirt on feet on summer nights
Brushing my hair
Brushing your hair
Singing in your brush without a care
Fish tails
Fried
Laying on the cellar while the babies cry inside
And I don’t need your money
I’ve got too much pride

Tangled in a web
Of squeezed knees
And wet kisses
Of not here
Not now
Of what if they see
They won’t
you say
Repeatedly
As I pull
And twist
Wanting to be
Deeper in your web of need

I guess i shall cook and clean so I can alas make the choking in the bed room seem believable. Oh the things I do for ****** satisfaction

Hole in my chest
Unfertilized eggs
Empty room
Empty future
You do nothing
All I do is spin and spin and spin

Thank you for leaning in
It validated my feelings some
It validated what I think your feelings are
But I won’t ever know

Like waves strong then soft
my mood passes
You see it and feel it
I feel it and know
I know that if I’m smiling I won’t want you
And if I’m frowning you won’t want me
I’m in the dark
Or you’re in the dark
But the cave never closes

Fine trees of cotton white
On roads made of oil
No dreams grow here
No papers there
Swimming isn't real
I heard you say a name
In your sleep
Up here, trees don't grow
Eyes on mine
Houses shiver when it's cold
I know

I was good
I was honestly
Probably
The best
And you know that
Deep deep
In your soul
You know that

I should've stayed with you and made bad decisions
I should've stayed with you and felt like I did something right
I just want you to want me

Sliding between my thighs
Should I say no now or later

Jelly beans
In a bowl
On a table
Next to you
Wish I could
Take a handful
Throw them all
At the window
Sitting cold
Reflecting through
All the sun
Shines on the floor
And the chairs
You need a broom

My issues are showing
Manifestations in nightmares
Manic delusions
Desperation
I could have had anyone
Twist of fate
Your hand on my thigh
Turned in
To your hand on my neck
And I loved it
No limits
No
Boundaries
No, no
And here we are
My chest cut open
Blood trickling down
My issues are showing

My key doesn't work
Quite right
In the door it twists
Sometimes
Handle up
Handle down
Hit the top
And click
Still nothing
The cabinets in this room
Belong to you
If you want them to
Come in in-between times
You can
If you want to
But if the door is locked
I can't help you
It sticks
It slides
It's scrapes
I've had to ask several times for help
But they don't know how to
After I've tried so many times
They sometimes will try too
And hit the top
And turn the handle up
Then down
Twist the key
And click
And how easy they make it seem

Evening
I see you've already gone to bed and that's alright
You leave me
Wanting more but I know that we'd just fight
And I think
You'd like to watch the acid eat my skin

I cry
For you
When
harvest moon plays
For me

If I walk the way you say
Slowly and carefully
All along the way
If I hold every hand tight
If I smile at every bright light
If I twist and turn only at night
Will it constitute a resolution

September Avenue
Spanish panfish
You at night
Poorly rolled joint
Baby lines
I’m not tired
Back again
Scrubbed his skin
Scrubbed my eyes
Throw me against a wall
Tonight

If I don’t look away
If my hand doesn’t shake
If I smile once or twice
If I say a little more
And wear a little less
Can we try again

In white land I'm a man and in brown land I'm an object
My skin color makes me a target
of push and pull
and scavengers rummaging through my pockets
I'm a queen, I'm a queen, I'm an object

Sunday morning
You’re too tired to wake up
Next to me
Monday morning
You’re too tired
To work
While I do
Tuesday morning
Practice on your zen
Wednesday morning
You feel like a friend
Thursday morning
More time in the mirror
Friday morning
Where should I go tomorrow?
Saturday morning
Should I wake you to say bye?

All I want to do is be with you
And my mind dances with what ifs
And my mind dance with lies and truths
And my mind dances
All I want to do is stop thinking of you
But my soul aches for you
And my soul yearns and burns and twists and breaks
For you
I feel like we are 1 in 2
I feel like I was meant for you
And I feel too much
And I touch too much
And I want too much
But all I want is you

My heart flitters and my feet shout
my legs shake
and I want you to tell me all the things you love about me and I’ll pretend all of them are true

My neighbor and I take showers at the same time
I know because his shower wall is next to mine
He hears my shower water flow through the pipes and I hear his at the same time
My neighbor and I only see each other sometimes
I don't think he works
I work all the time
I don't think he does much except shower and get high
And I know he gets high because one time I heard him while I was getting high at the same time

I loved you like a shoe loves a roach
I loved you like dirt loves water and soap
I loved you like gum on my shoe or the bottom of my jeans scraping the pavement
I loved you like a fly loves the cold
Like the youth love getting old
I loved you most went you were gone

I wish I wasn’t wet
Or on my knees
I wish I didn’t like you standing over me
I wish your **** didn’t taste so sweet
And I wish I had a dash of morality
I wish someone could tell me why
The best gift I ever got was a black eye
Why a hug isn’t as good as a slap on the thigh
and why
My god given talent is staying in line
I wish I knew how to say no
But if I did I wouldn’t know where to go
Except not with you
Or him
I’d be alone
And your name looks like a ****** thrown out on the side of a country road

Can you engage with me in an affair, a fantasy
Or at least get so close to the edge you can feel the wind beneath your feet
Will you engage with me in *** on a desk
In hidden texts
And backseat tangled legs
Can you give me enough
Just something
To wash this taste from my tongue

Thank you for
Everything you do
You make me happy
And sad
And angry
You make me feel

Creepy crawly
Seashell lover
Beads around a wrist no longer
Bones that crunch and hair that twists
Six feet under a sordid mix
A sun that shines on quiet days
Morning brings a foggy haze
And you don’t come out on Sundays
and can you feel the quiet
And can you smell the earth
And do you hear the silence
Do you still feel the hurt?

In the ending of
all that starts with love
all that lies ahead
all that feels nothing
I still think of you
and all the things you'd do
my bruises melted off
and now I'm feeling lost
I can only try
to leave until you pine
for something you can't taste
and if the apartment window stays like it is
and the pantomime outside continues to spin
I can't stay and settle in
I can't waste myself on content

Bounce bounce
On your ****
I’d love to make you want it
Yearn pine
My heart just cries
For something you never wanted

I am
Too old
To be
Falling
In love
With a
“P-I-M-P”

You’re afraid of losing me
But I’m afraid of losing you
And everything you symbolize
And the way I am with you
I feel so big when you make me feel small
I think I love you sometimes maybe not even at all
But I feel something inside
Especially when you yell
And I love the way you treat me like an object
An important object

I like to watch my head spin
Out of body
Experience
My anger takes me there
Through a sandstorm
With a heartbeat like mine
Slapping mad slicing and gritting
My eyes

I love your hair
You’re a beautiful girl
Though you wish you weren’t
Your face is more than I can put into words
Your body is lovely and you know it’s true
It makes it more so because no man can touch you
But I won’t touch you either
And I’m sorry for that
You’re a beautiful girl but you can do better than that