as i try and craft my speech i stumble
as it comes out of my mouth i mumble
i fear rejection for i do not think very highly of my self
relatively humble.
oh how nice it'd be to get this girl to smile and fall and tumble
in love. her curly hair
id adore her blue eyes and say i never stop admiring.
hair so pretty,i mean beautiful
prettiful

I wish you and I would intertwine
like a silver-blue thread through the darkness,
and unravel ourselves,
float like dust, illuminated by the sunlight,
so I can't tell me from you.
I wish we'd be the small, overlooked tones,
making up a melody,
that faintly linger on subconsciously.
Me and you should be the wind
and the willow,
and kaleidoscopic convolutions of the sky,
of the mind;
a bouquet of flowers,
shared,
with a once-empty park bench,
for some lonely souls.
Their unseen smiles blossom in return.
There's plenty of life, even in a graveyard,
There is simply,
lots of love
between
all things.

I made my girl a dress in white,
what she did, she kept it on all night.
She never took it off again, I'll say
I surely am a lucky man.

I strung around a messy gown,
not even once did I see a frown.
And she loves me, I am sure,
there is more our love can endure.

Starry skies, little white lies,
messy children, open forest,
in the bedding, around the waves,
meetings were restricted, feelings were evicted,
but our love held tight.

Depression is being so tired every minute of every day
that finding the energy to get out of bed is taxing.
Depression is not wanting to be around people you know you love
because the thought of explaining how you are really doing is heartbreaking.
Depression is drowning in an ocean of your thoughts
while everyone around you scolds you because you should ‘know how to swim.’
Depression is being so confused as to why you feel the way you do
because everyone declares that happiness is a choice you have to choose to make.
Depression is avoiding even looking in the mirror
because you’ve surpassed the point of self-hate.
Depression is being stranded on an island and having the tools to signal for help
but not being able to read the language of the instructions on the label.
Depression is being surrounded by people who love you
but feeling completely alone and unloved.

My favorite memories of you are completely made up. I lie there for hours in the dark, eating tuna sandwiches and reading your poetry, imagining that each girl you wrote about was me. We've gone on amazing adventures and late night walks and did lots of drugs, until my cat jumps on my lap and reminds me that I'm not adventurous, not nocturnal, and definitely not a druggie. I've cried into your shoulder till I fall asleep, and then I wake up alone. We had a terrible fight, at least, on my lined paper smudged with ink. It may sound weird to you that I imagine our life together, but I'm so lonely and you're so safe and I can't stand not being with you, even if it's an alternate reality. I just hope that one day it could all be real.

You literally scare the crap out of me. That's how much I love you. I'm so scared of you that I dread even walking by you in the halls of our run down school. I feel like I'm walking on the precipice of a cliff and one misplaced step will send me falling and you'll stand there laughing. Why do I even love you then? Who knows. Love isn't supposed to make sense and that is the one sentence describing my life right there.