Time erases everything
Eventually
But our secret programming
Our collective high hopes,
Frightening ourselves into
Something
That beats time.
Belief in both miracles and mirages
And everything is erased eventually
We fight on behalf of our wild unconscious hope
Even entropy could be undone
With enough time

Jumbled mix
miracles
mirages
echoes
and self delusion

Who is authoring the other delusions
And who the non-delusion
(if non-delusion exists)
?

DOubt to press a key
REvealing the sound of a hammer on its string
MIght that sound is not good to hear
FAr from the hymn, created in my ear
SO the spaces between the blacks from whites
LAst, to provide the tune of life
TIll the black keys are raised and set
DO musics whites can't create.

I am tired of permanently loving temporary men.

there was a time i was,
someone.

i used to feel the cold.
I've not turned the boiler on in 4 years.

i used to dress in clothes,
and care what they look like.

i've not cut my hair in nearly 10 years.

i've not been to the doctor in over ten years.
the dentist in 12.

i've not read a book in nearly 14 years.
i read over a thousand before i was 16.

i used to listen to people.
now i couldn't care less.

i used to exercise and care about my appearance,
now i walk around naked and don't get dressed.

I used to leave the house.
i still do,
but i long for home.

i used to respond to my texts,
now i've changed my number.

i used to have friends,
now i hate them.

they still try,
but when they look me in the eyes -

they know i'm not who i used to be.

i used to be scared to die,
now i'm only too scared to **** myself.

i used to think i had talents and qualities,
now my only issue is that i'm too much of coward to end my life.

i'm suicidal,
but too pathetic to do anything about it.

So i just exist in nothingness.
Understanding life and understanding myself,
but i can't find reason,
or purpose,

and i don't even care.

i used to be a human being.

now i'm just a black hole where a soul used to be.