You are gone for excessive hours
And i know you dont mean to come back
But you do, you take a while but you always do
A part of me know you will
But there is a bigger part knowing one day you wont

You used to love the way i wrote about you once
Now you just want me to stop
And although my lips never move, my heart keeps begging you to come back
While my friends beg for who i was before you left to come back

Your ears used to love the sound my lips made
When i said ily and reached for you in my sleep
But the day you left the sun rose too early and my ilys turned to please come back
and it was then when the sun set in my eyes, never to rise again

You once said there is hope; there is a light at the end of this tunnel
And i was taken back to the time when i saw you smile
I thought the end must be near
But now you are gone and now this tunnel seems never ending
Owing to the darkness, nothing is all i see

You kept saying there is more to life than us
I nodded and said there is more to life than love and there is more to love than you
But you were my sun and my moon
Now i am left with the stars that will never stop spelling your name.

You begged and ordered me to stop reaching out
for someone who is not even there
It was my helpness that said-I have been trying to let go
But im not sure if my hands remember how to
Or my heart

Do your  parents wonder, why you take time to open your door?
How you cannot wash their dead daughter's blood off your bedsheet
Go tell them how she bled to death for someone who would not even look her way or do anything to prevent it lest his hands get bloodied

Do they ever wonder why there is no mirror in your room,
or notice how you cringe at the sight of your reflection as if you've seen a ghost And how that is the case exactly?
Go tell them how your own shadow scares the wit out of you,
as if it is mocking you and soon will reveal your dark secrets to them.

Do they ever wonder why you have so little photographs of you?
Go tell them your face reminds you how you turned into everything you said, You would not when you were a kid; how you are just a pile of unsaid goodbyes, abandoned building, shattered dreams stitched up together by skin you dont feel comfortable in.

Do they wonder, why your hands are often on your ears as if you are trying to block some loud music only you can hear
Go tell them how his words keep replaying in your mind.. how he told you so many "truths" that you no longer know which version to believe in

Do they ever wonder why you have no friend or why you keep staring at the wall and yet your eyes appear to be seeing right through everything?
Go tell them you are looking at his eyes turning colder by minute, till you don't recognise who he is; that he has seared goodbye in a place inside you so deep that you send your friends in love,  packing bags long before they plan to leave.

Do they ever notice how you cringe when they attempt to hold your hand or hug you?
go tell them how all the times you were let go still echo through your skin,
how you always acted like a filler? how every one you loved had their eyes set on their destiny and you were always traffic

do they ever wonder, why you always seem more restless at night? Or, how they never find you asleep?
Go tell them how the future that you could have had but did not haunts you every night, How you think you have enough time but then you blink and suddenly you are all out of it and you ask Him for 5 more minutes but he just shakes his head.

Last night
You killed a part of me
And i let you
Just like all the times before

If loving me were a crime,
You'd not have to worry
You'd be an innocent
Not a single blot on your conscience

Last night
I looked for you at the bottom of my drinks, the empty side of my bed and in every strangers' face
Just to find you in her arms

If loving me were a dream,
You'd be the insomniac
Dont even bother closing your eyes now
I already slipped off your eyelids

Last night, in vain,
I tried to find my way to our place
But all the houses on the street looked the same
Like the gravestones in the cemetry with the engravings washed away

**If loving me came
like the waves of our memories hitting you in the face
Not one inch of you would be drenched
You would be untouched and oblivious
Like a diamond in the distant sky

I dont want you to write me poetry
I can do that for both of us

I dont want you to compare my eyes to sunset
Or, my mind to some sea of undiscovered depth
I just want you to see me for who im-
Dully ordinary in all my deeds

I dont want you to be breathtakingly handsome
We could be too cute for two ugly people

I dont want you to speak all those fancy big words
And get me a bouqet of rose every night
Just be there with me, be my light, when all i see is in shades of blacknwhite
And on the brightest day, tolerate my lights if i outshine you

I don't want you to understand each action of mine; to decode every word
Just promise not to give up on trying; never give up on me

I dont want you to fix me
Just be patient with me while i glue back all that is left from my last heartbreak
I might run in opp. Direction at your approach
But ill always find my way back to you

I don't want you to give me forevers and mouthful of nevers
Time is a ****, as we both know*

If you can and if you may,
Just love me in this very moment
Cause forever is nothing but all these moments stitched together

I dont't want you to tell me you love me
But please, just do love me

Be yourself, he said
But the problem is i dont know how to do that without having the world know how much i love him

Maybe we never stop loving secretly, those we once loved out loud

Be brave and let go,
But the problem is i am not sure
if my hands remember how to
Or my heart

Maybe we never get over, we just become everything that breaks us

Be wise and accept
You are not the first, and you sure as hell wont be the last

Maybe the best i can hope is that out of all the things you regret, I'm the one you loved most

Be grateful, and dont sulk
Make a blanket of stars and lie down in the Earth's arms

Maybe these cold nights are there to avenge me for the times i reached out to you to keep me warm

Be still and let yourself heal
But is there any cure for memories of you and me

**Maybe some pain never ceases to be, some loss you can never compensate

Your hands are not sandpaper
You can't round my sharp edges,
Or scratch away the good parts of me.
Your fingers are not cages
Capable of capturing my hopes and dreams
And tucking them into a dark corner
To be forgotten about
Until a rainy day
When I go searching for them
In every cardboard box stacked in the attic.
Your eyes are not black holes
That will **** me in
And spit me back out
In outer space untethered to anything
So that I may float around
Devoid of gravity
And responsibility.
Your hair is not a net
Which will tangle my limbs
And refuse to release me
Until I submit to your commands.
You are not a strong current
Beating me endlessly
Before sweeping me out to sea
Because I am capable of standing
On my own two feet
And walking up the bank
To dry land
And safety.

For someone who is never leaving,
I say goodbye a lot
For someone who is never gonna stop loving you,
I deny my love a lot
For someone who needs you like a newborn needs to be fed
I push you away a lot.

For someone who counts every second from the moment i hear your footsteps fade
Till i see you again,
I pretend to be oblivious a lot.

For someone who is burning at the sight of you two together,
I wish you well a lot.
For someone who cries every night,
I still have a lot of hurt inside
For someone who is never going to be first on your list,
I expect a lot.

For someone who remains awake at night reminiscing the little details about you
I avoid any sort of eye contact with you a lot.