I like seeing you happy
I just wish you shared that happiness with me

She would laugh during prayers and giggle at church
She wore skirts too short, let them slid up her thighs
She dyed her hair colors of rainbow when she got bored
and she did it all because it was her choice

I was warned to stay away from her
"she's a bad influence" and "the devil is near"
they were partially right

She was dangerous,
She was the devil,
And I loved to sin.

You told me I would never change
but I learned to put myself before You,
to love and protect myself from You.

I'd like to say that I never loved you, but the truth is, I didn't know what love was.
We create our own concept of love
based on our thoughts of what it is and what it should be.
We learn from our parents, from the books we read, from the movies we watch, and decide for ourselves what we want to receive.
I thought that to keep you happy I had to endure the emotional and physical pain you caused me. And in return you would buy me flowers, teddy bears, chocolates.
That was love.

But that's not what it is anymore.

I look at you and I see myself.
a sad, lonely, naive
version of myself