i fill myself up with liquor
only to find that i'm still empty.
people fill me up with expectations & every time they fail
they pour a portion of my soul out into the gutter
& i'm still empty.
lovers pursue me with sweet words & fill me up with dreams of a perfect romance & when it ends my heart breaks, spilling out the few drops left of my soul,
making me emptier than before.
i nourish friendships using the substance from my soul
only to watch them dwindle & die leaving my soul substance-less
& i'm still empty.
i write this poem with the hope that maybe, just maybe it can make me feel whole again but
i'm still empty.

— @beeyroyce.

i saw a dead man today

how creepy

it was a real eerie thing looking at his eyes

his mouth

i wondered how he died

did he want to die?

i poked and prodded at him for a while

i wondered if he knew i was there

was he watching me?

did he have a spirit?

was he completely gone from this world?

he was so cold and stiff

did he feel cold and stiff inside?

or did he just feel that way to me?

i splashed water on his face

could he die again?

am i killing him?

yes and yes

i saw a dead man today when i looked in the mirror

collecting on bets against our protection
protecting the rest from upsetting suggestions
suggesting our debt is a festering infection
infecting the best at dissecting rejection

rejecting the test of netting detection
detecting a mess of regulated perception
percieving the threat as a broken reflection
reflecting begets the final expression

I met a genius on the train
today
about 6 years old,
he sat beside me
and as the train
ran down along the coast
we came to the ocean
and then he looked at me
and said,
it's not pretty.

it was the first time I'd
realized
that.

Want someone for me
to hear me
to care for me
to love me
to love only me

Well Known that
i cant get someone like that

longs,longed, will long
cried,cries,will cry

self consoling
is the worst thing

in the world
but seems as a bold

how can i escape
can't die
can't fly

but to write
----------------
===========

He is all
blooming sunflowers and rainbows
I'm all
darkness and reckless storm.

He is all
perfect moves and graceful steps
I am the
clumsiness tripping over myself.

He is all poetic verses and
how the sunshine tastes
I am the blot of ink scattered
all over the page

He is the name of the ache
my beating heart feels
I am the name of his forgetfulness
that is only confined to me

He Is the gentle summer rain, every creature appreciates
I am the extremity they warned you about in your books

He is the destination,
the only thing I have ever wanted
I am the blindfold, an illusion
Distracting him from his happy ending

He is the spotlight
of every party
I'm the 3am loneliness
the poets battle against

He exists a little bit
in all my poems and unfinished drafts*
I am the past he has long
buried
which no one knows a thing about