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backwards breaking
belligerent bleeding
no success
in the wanting
no independence
in the needing
counterproductive concepts
crumbling creativity
no more
knowing
no more
clinging
no more
ringing
subtle silences
scorching screams

it's not a holiday
but we're drinking
smoking *******
threatening our hearts
with ideas of "again"
of "tomorrows"

the best time to dream is
from 7:30am to 8:15am
those are the dreams
you wake up with
the dreams that feel so real
that life is more dreamlike
so fantasies stay and play
no fear left in your heart
no longer needing to be wrapped in another
the only love is created from within
not from each other's

so let the mountains surround
and the music drowned
no drinking tonight
NO drinking tonight
don't bring it or leave it
I wake up at night
chug water
heavy breathing

I miss his kiss, back, tongue, hips
so, no drinking tonight, I want to
let go, not sink in.

rising up
as I'm
growing up
****
waking up
middle of the night
still drunk
throwing up
****
no drinking tonight

shedding layers in the light
I'll glow off the snow tonight
harmonizing with my inner self
not much food left on the shelf
but I am full, so full, I explode
bursting with self-expression
my explosions, although,
abrasive. often catch a
curious eye from the
distance and my
explosion's lux
is almost a
beauty
such
as
the
stars.

I am far
far out
and
away
not sure how long I will stay
not sure how long before I leave
all I know is that I need to believe
in myself and the consciousness I have been granted.

intelligence is not something to be feared,
rather, revered. perhaps my mind walks too fast,
gets stuck in the past, rewinds and repeats laps.
if my heart felt any different about the things I said,
then my soul might not matter, and my mind would be dead.
so rather than cry and worry about others opinions, others
clique par-say part-tea par-tay's. I shall say, HEY, I am me
and you are you, but don't put me down because of the
mistakes you make and the wrongs you do. I might
look **** when I cry, I might look **** when I cry,
I might, but it's no excuse for the abuse that all
these people seem to choose. I said it again,
and I say it again, patience is peace, and
peace is release. A lesson I still struggle
to maintain. I might look **** when
I cry, because peace is release, if I
choose to be, if I let it be. peel
back your eyes and see, I'm
a reflection of you, you're
a reflection of me.
two masks made
two masks sent
t'was a very strange event
one was clay
broken and rent
the other
rebar and cement

the concrete gave
a passing stare
had it's nose up in the air
the clay had runnels
lines of care
it was no longer
smooth and fair

yes
the clay had lines
and runnels deep
from the tears
which it did weep

the Hand which made both
tried the hearts
the concrete face
staid its cold art
the mask of clay
shattered apart

the concrete looked on
in destain
she would never feel pain

gently, gently
the great Hand tended
the cracked restored
and quietly
mended

what had been
weak clay and mesh
was renewed
and made
flesh

concrete had smiled
was now made small
for she saw
the
wrecking ball


SoulSurvivor
(C) 5/16/2016
God resists the proud
but gives grace to the humble

Thank you my friends for your warm welcome back
I still can't be on site as much as I'd like
but will be here when I can

-
We are all but transient passengers

within this life.

Like butterfly tourists

we flit through existence...

when my journey here is complete

my soul and spirit will be replete.

You'll find me within fields of wheat

That's how they keep the pastures sweet,

Growing in fields of corn and loam

Amidst the place where I call home.

between the barley, wheat and rye

love and friendship never die.

If you ever wish to contact me

Forever in perpetuity

Speak, whisper, quietly to the bees

you'll hear my answer in the breeze.
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