As she writes
She has her music the loudest it can go
Writes about the confusing heart she has
She has always been a very quiet girl
Kept things to herself
Smiles all the time
Super sweet and helpful
But you never truly knew how she was
She is so positive and optimistic
But behind that smile
She is struggling
She overthinks
She wants to please everyone
She does what people want
But is she truly satisfied
Putting a smile on people's faces
And worrying about how they feel all the time
Can get tiring so the question I have for you
How are you feeling
No seriously
How are you feeling
Darling your emotions matter too
Don't hold it in
Let it out, honey
You can only be strong for long
And put up a front that you are okay
Breakdown sweetie, it's okay
Your emotions matter
It's not selfish
Your mental health is important too

Oh how my mind wonders
Looks at each corner of the room
Hopes that she can find the answers
Amongst the walls
The light at the corner of the room
Keeps me wondering
How are you feeling
I wish I knew as I talk amongst myself
You must wonder
She is a beauty amongst her quietness
She may not say much
But she thinks a lot
She hesitates to say the words she is thinking
Why you ask
Because her feelings might not make sense to everyone
She proceeds to write her poetry
Quickly while listening to James Arthur
The thoughts
Overthinking
As time goes by

Stop
Stop acting like you love me
Stop messing with my head
I go through my daily life
Acting as if I am strong and ok
Trying not to think about
the thought of you
But you keep coming back
Why?!
Get out of my head
I moved on
I  wanted you to love me
I wanted you to give me a reason
A reason to love you
But you were so quick to let me go
Why?!
I asked myself why wasn't I good enough for you
I moved on yet I still ask myself that
I thought you were the one I knew you were
But you didn't see that I was
Now you have to watch another man love me
And all of a sudden you miss me
Maybe you do miss me
You sent me a text a normal daily tease
About our rival hockey teams
Then we talked
I didn't in a sense expect a conversation
Normal teasing again
Then to me being honest that you were not a great boyfriend
You told me you would've changed for me
I had a hard time swallowing that
Because I know you wouldn't have
You told me put these words in perspective
Would I be here begging for you back at 1 am
I sat and cried
In silence letting my thoughts roam
On the words, you had said
Who knew that even from 6,491 miles
And 3 months
13 weeks
2,231 hours
133,871 minutes
I would still be on your mind
Even after I told you I moved on
You still are fighting back
Why?!
Why after all this time you had
You want me now
My heart still breaks
But I believe I moved on too soon
Not enough time to heal
Wherever you may be
Really think was I the one
I loved your family
Your little brother was awesome
Your friends were pretty cool too
Have you talked to them about this
You are the man 6,491 miles thinking of a girl you lost
You would have to do a lot of fighting for the girl you broke
She loved you
6,491 miles
And somehow I still cross your mind
Give me time to think and breathe
My thoughts are lost
Even with that many miles you want to fix things
Was I that important
6,491 miles
3 months since you let me go

She sits quietly in her room
With her music super loud
Lost in her thoughts
She's gonna be okay
It's hard when the person that mentally destroyed you
Tries to reappear like nothing
She walked away
Because you couldn't handle a woman like her
Stop trying
She is happy now
The more you attempt to reappear
The tears come rolling down
Not because she misses you
But because she wants you to go away
She gave you everything back
Yet you keep trying to have some sort of ties with her
You hurt her
As happily in love, she may be in
She is still healing
That's your fault
You could've broken her heart in a nice way
You could've called things off
Instead, you chose to be toxic
You think she would never find out
You thought she was always gonna stay
Because you figured she could never find someone as
"Great" as you
You weren't great
You thought you had her wrapped around your finger
Guess what
You didn't
Stop trying to act like you care now
That she is in love
You want to apologize too late for that
Respect her and Respect
She wants you out of her life
You made her afraid
You made her insecure
She sees he won't cut all ties with her
Let me go you have done enough
It's time for someone else to love me now
As he has to break all the walls you created for her
Please do her a favor
Go away
Stop trying to contact her
You are only breaking her more
She doesn't miss you
She doesn't miss your toxicity
Go away

Society at times is absolutely disgusting
I as a young women
Can't walk out wearing a crop top and jeans
Without having men look at me in a way
That is completely unnecessary
It should not matter what a woman wears
No man should look at her in a profound way
She is more than just a body
She is no object
She is beautiful and deserves to be respected
It's disgusting to have men make comments
About a young women wearing a semi crop top
I should be able to wear what I want
Without men giving me negative attention
Society I swear
We as people have lost all sense of
Chivalry
It is disgusting
To see how men view women
She is a person
Who deserves respect
I am more than just a body
I am a person
Who has feelings
And deserves love and respect
Chivalry is dead

I sit here
Wondering
Why can't I feel anything
Why do I feel so afraid
Like I can't trust anyone
I wish we could see the colors of someone
Right away
Like do they just want to take advantage of me
I wish I knew
Like  that's what happens
When your heart gets messed with so much
I don't know
I give up honestly
I am sick of trying to figure out who is good
And who is bad
I think being alone is great sometimes
Because even while trying to read people
I will still be happy
Because I will know
That even in my loneliness
I don't need to rely on others for my happiness
Writing is my focus
Family is my focus
Meeting other writers is my focus
Getting into a good college
But I think from now on
My writing will have how I feel
So whoever reads my work will know
I am telling a story
Because it's okay
To not know
And at this point in my life
I don't know
I don't care to know
Seeking happiness within writing