I'm told its written in the man up stair's book
A camel could pass through a needle hole
But not a rich man to seeing heaven...
But how many are believed to have entered
If not more than seven?
I wonder if it's true with the souls
The good die young I'm told
Do they?
Or they're captured and put on hold
What's your say?
Or you think this is play?
I'll paraphrase.
How many times have you got all you wanted with less pain?
How many times have you discarded something just because it stained?
Or left your room with the bed neatly laid?
Maybe I'll give you a pass on laid and bed
I'm a character performing live in that show
On the first sunlight
For crying out loud,
Why do we applaud
When its our rights they try to fraud?
And prevent ourselves when they start acquiring fame
The swahili have a saying,
If you want to bend a tree stem
Do it whilst it's still wet...
Or is it fish...?
I think I'm messed.!

Akwana Wa Odera
@therealakwana
© 2018

All my life
My urges have been controlled by lust
You could say i was a player if you must
But it's my private affairs,
No need to put it out
But then i met this girl
Talking of love at first sight
Shining so bright
In my heart she was the light
Some say they had their hearts captured
In a box and threw away the key,
Mine was a different thing
She brought her own lock
And i swear i never saw the key!
I was hypnotized
I'm told love is blind
For real i couldn't see
It's like a dream dreamt with no sleep
She was the anchor to my ship
Docked far away at sea
All i saw or heard was she
I was blown away
Like pollen grains,
During pollination,
I glided through the air
With no intentions of touching down
Her voice... **** that sound
Charming sweet
Ravishing through my ears
Like that pleasant soft jazz music
Every time she speaks
Or calls out my name
With her I'm insane
But its ok
Because she's a type of perfect
I'd rather go crazy for
Her body features
Always up to date
No need for updates or body fixtures
A beauty only seen in pictures
Petite tall with hips curved
How could she not be loved?
This girl i met
Sad it was all in my head!

Akwana Wa Odera
@therealakwana
© 2018

In this life you either
The hunter or the hunted
There's no in between
You either survive
Or fade away
Curious how he managed
To be perfect in his creation
One gets to camouflage and
Get a way
My grand ma always said
This world is never safe
The food chain is always set
You are either at the top
Or at the bottom with your
Already sealed fate
Life is just but a game of cards
Play them right
Maybe you'll live to see
Another day's light
Adjusting like a bandwidth
maneuver through the night
Hidden in plain sight
Only seen when it's right
One wrong move
You'll regret for the rest of your life
Play your cards wrong
And you cease to be known
Everybody fighting for titles
Armed to the teeth
This fight is fatal
To make them listen
You can never use gentle
I wonder what will be left
When the dust settles
I fail to differentiate between
Whispers and the whistling of
Steaming kettles
Stop anticipating for a third world war
We are already fighting with questions
This world was never my haven
Being safe is not an option

Akwana Wa Odera
@therealakwana
© 2018

Arise and shine
The sun is up i have to wake
The earliest bird catches the worn
I'm early but worn
I fail to even raise my arm
I have to beat time
Maybe attend class,
Do some work
Or make an appearance in the offices
But I'm still in bed struggling with sense,
I'm safe
But this feeling is getting intense
It's like I'm in an impending danger
Whilst in my bed...
Today i just don't feel like facing the world
They'll think I'm mad
Still contemplating on waking, up
Time flies
Thirty minutes are already up
I get my first panic attack
Just because I've not made up my mind
If today I'll be walking around.
Struggling out of bed
I rush to bathe
Stripped to my feet
I Immerse myself in water
As thoughts in my mind litter
I wish i could drown in a lake
I wish i never had to pretend
I wish i was not fake
I am a counterfeit of myself
I'm like kreatcher, the worn out elf
A blurred reflection of my better self
So many cloths thrown on my bed
I fail to decide on which one to take
They all seem weird yet i bought them myself
Forty five minutes out
I'm still not sure what I'll put on
I'm hit with a second panic attack
Time is running out
And I'm still stagnant
In my head i do a quick chat
Trying to rush myself, to quickly leave the house
Putting on what at least feels right
Within minutes,
I'm out of my comfort zone into the daylight
As i walk I'm filled with fright
My mind controlling my pulse
I'm not sure if I'm walking right
I start slowing down
In front of me there's a group of guys
I can't surpass them
I'm not sure what they'll say
So i lag behind knowing with this pace
I'm going to be late
Luckily i reach my destination
But I'm alone
There was some miscommunication
No one is around, i wasted my time
I start panicking, I'm sweating
I did not plan for this
I need a place to sit
I need to chill and restart
I get a place, looking confused
I take out my phone
Pretending to be busy
When I'm actually confronting myself to try and act normal
Finally making up my mind
I decide to go back to my house
Using the quickest shortcuts
I'm back in no time
Today wasn't that bad
I had minimal interaction
A win on my side
At least i did not embarrass myself
The irony my life has led to
A life I'm always resentful of
A life based on my anxious self
A life controlled by anxiety

Akwana Wa Odera
@therealakwana
© 2018

I watched the sun rise
Then turned out to watch it
Set down the skies
I took a peek at the moon
It came out at night
I watched it glitter in the dark
Two supernatural features
That fail to control their futures
The moon and the sun
Are just couples that never touch
It has nothing to do with distance
But the timing they feature
The timing is always wrong
Just when the sun's very worn
The moon still takes too long
The sun's brightness has never
Turned her on
Love at a glance
Your and i started with smiles
You promised with me you'll run miles
****, all you did was run me dry
I'm wiping no tears in my eyes
I promised myself for you I'll never cry
But why...?
You were never satisfied?
Yet i promised you all my life?
I always sensed circus in your cries
Crocodile tears and your lies
I'm a fool,
I fell for a fox
Leading her straight to my hen house
Falling in love is just but a gamble
You never know when you are tossing the wrong dice
My heart was the price
Fragile as it was
You still smashed it to the ground
With pieces scattered around
I'm not sure if I'll mend it right
I for one envy the sun
His patience never runs out
Always hoping to meet the moon
Every time its sets down

Akwana Wa Odera
@therealakwana
© 2018

I can't run away
My fears just got to where i stay
I've always pictured my safe haven
A simple place where my head could lay
Only to realize it was nothing close to heaven
This place i craved
Found out it wasn't safe no more
As my fears lay await
Pretty little fears
Waiting to scare my self
Someone once said
Earth without art is just eh!
Reason i picture beauty in pain
My fears
As harsh as they may be
They are still pretty to me
For the real struggle is within
Tarnishing them would just expose
An uglier struggling side of me
One i would never want the world to see
So every time I'm scared
And fail to conquer my fears
I join them in tears
My pretty little fears

Akwana Wa Odera
@therealakwana
© 2019