For my love is the Autumn Sun

The embodiment of intense heat and passion found in summer love
Though my words cold as a daggers edge pierce the heart will leave you undone
Your eyes only see the warm glow and recalls its passion,

You anticipate

Reminiscent you are though the warmth of your bones are quenched by the absence of my touch
A rather cold embrace
For I am the sun that made the rose you are bloom

The very one that will take every precious petal away from you
Seasons have changed yet I am the same sun
For my reasons have changed but you still long for the taste of honey on my tongue

The luxury of time is growth
However this silence is unbearable
For these lonesome nights I continue to loathe
As the love I once cherished  gradually perishes
As you regress from goddess back to human
For you no longer bear the guise of home
The illusion that shoruded my vision was lifted
When my love dimished
As I spent those cold nights alone

Look into my eyes and see where the truth lies
As I waste my youth scrambling desperately looking for the truth in the lies
Trying to find love in the façade
Not mad in the lack in love but the lack of honesty
Being indecisive trying to keep me close to fall back on
You need someone spend the nights alone
Especially when you leave that message he does not respond nor does he come back home
Trying to move on and you putting hurdles in front of me
Stunt my growth trying to preventing me from bringing forth the beauty
Soul lay dormant
Weathering us that storm horrid
Rose like a rose in the concrete and bloomed and that growth cannot be stop by a mortal

Final Letter
When you look at me what do you see
Are my eyes like the surface to something as deep as the open sea
Am I a head full of dreams unable to face reality
A writer who turns his demons into a plot
Am I a crazy person crying for help
A suicidal individual trying to find to death?

Am I an empty hollow with nothing left, a shell of my former self
Or was I always empty and kept the façade so we could remain friends
You say I'm going through the motions I wish that’s how you can describe my emotions
Slow death and I still can’t get grasp for why awoken,
Waste of space I tell you lies just to save face
But under surface I am in an abyss
I use to wish my existence wouldn’t be missed
I could disappear
Without care
With no one I love having to shed a tear
Or wish I was still there
Ending it feels like my only escape

Or thats how I use to think before I became selfless
Spread the dream
To taste love and pain
To live long enough to eventually experince it again
To Become Significant Once Again

Since the days of sound
Humans have only known two voices
That of love and the lack of it
That is all we know
Humans will always rebel and humans will always love
For every act of malice, of romance, or may it be of hatred
They all were done due to the love, or absence of love in the heart of a mortal man
​

Before my soul had reach maturity I was told to never give a lover my heart
Thus I never did,
Instead I gave them my heart, my soul, and every fibre of my being
For the one whom I fell in love with was no lover, but a soul a divine
When they wanted the world I gave them the universe itself
I do not regret my decision
I have no remorse
For their love and loyalty made it as easy as drawing breathe
Like royalty they received without question
For they have evolved beyond the definition of lover
They are Nirvana
​

I’m always gravelling at your feet
The rose that I rose from concrete now has no time for me
In my depression there were wild emotions and I had to repress them
Struggling not to fall apart in front you
When I was the only person you could come to
Fear that I would explode and say things just to get at you
However I’m not like that no matter what happened I still be right back
That’s why I’m here now just for some closure
I have seen this scene over and over
In the dark waiting for part two however I feel my whole life is a wasted play if their leading role isn’t you.
Us on pause but not my emotions and honestly I’m going through  the motions trying to figure what did I do to deserve it
Tears down my eyes
As you look at me and me tell lies
Then I tell those lies to a mirror
To myself hoping that my vision of you would be clearer
​