A girl who knows her beauty
is an unstoppable force
As the one who holds her head high
can see other perspectives.

A girl who needs to fake a frown to persuade her audience of sadness
is an unstoppable force
As the one who is never truly depressed
Is truly happy.

A girl who is in love
is an unstoppable force
As the one who believes that love will conquer all,
will conquer all.

A girl who has a broken heart
is a stoppable force
As the one who is betrayed of her innocence,
becomes corrupt.

A girl who questions her beauty
is a stoppable force
As the one who begins to hang her head low
will never see her own reflection.

A girl who has to fake a smile to persuade her audience of happiness
is an unstoppable force
As the one who hides her darkness,
protects others.

&

A girl who feels alone
is both unstoppable and stoppable
As the one who dances alone in the dark,

is numb.

Eyes switching gazes from right to left pupil. Stories held in thin air for a moment in the space between retinas. Words acting as weapons of mass destruction, hanging in the air becoming stale with every inch as each syllable rises into the atmosphere. Forever echoing in the ears of the listener, penetrating thoughts, clouding the brain, like toxic waste. Encouraging words must be found, they must be said. Dreams, inspiration. Into the minds of the growing, the moving, the future. holding the destiny of this world in small, and innocent hands, and wide eyes. Those eyes are the windows to the next generation and the key to the next miracle the universe begs for. Opening windows, and locking front doors, let’s pretend for a second that time is stoppable, moments aren’t lost, and people live forever.

Results aren’t final unless you ask them to be. Things happen we aren’t sure of, flashbacks your days dream. Having doubts that fill our minds wading through the nerves through the brain stem to the core of the cores of the armor. I can talk to my 13 year old self, and tell him that I understand, and that we’re still the same person, I’m just the shell. I can tell him everything I want. But he’s already lived.

In the mirror, switching gazes from iris to pupil. Lungs collapse as the phrases land on the younger heart of mine. Phrases consisting of the negatives, the outcomes, the results, the roots, the stories, the endings, the beginnings, the alterations, the alternations, the provocations, the imagination. Phrases meant to tear down, not rebuild. The destiny of the world held in small hands, clutched by small fingers, as the quotations waft through rooms. The rooms where they escaped *****, angry, and ignorant mouths. The miracle stares at the reflection, not knowing the necessity of the universe. Closing windows, opening doors, wishing the hands on the clocks of life can stop.

Encouraging words must be found, they must be said.
Let’s write history with the minds of the growing, the moving,
the future.
Nurture.

vi.xxi.xi

i can't stop it.
an addiction. i'm an addict.
no self discipline, no control
my hands, my fingers keep returning
and returning on
my chapped lips

it began last week. cold day,
caught a cold. breathing through my mouth.
sick and dry
dry lips.
there's an itch on my finger, i began to touch
my chapped lips

i thought it was a one time thing,
something reversible, something stoppable.
i was wrong, i was dumb, i was so wrong.
when my fingers stopped retaliating the blood,
it, the addiction, turned my teeth onto warriors
on the scrimmage on
my chapped lips

one night, i stopped
in the morning it was worse.
a wound hasn't healed, and another
on top of it. skin and flesh, on a rotating schedule
i'm scared but i don't stop. i'm scared
but my body just turned its back on
my chapped lips.

nothing has changed. blood and wound
scar and then wound,
i haven't stopped. and now i'm not scared.
i thought, i'm good at healing.
so, my chapped lips

will stay. scars may come,
but it's just my lips.
nothing good
has ever touched
my chapped lips.

we were weathered,
torn and frayed, we were
midnight skies with the stars
ripped out.  we were broken
knees, busted lips, and
heaving lungs.  we were
neck deep in the water,
we were floating against
the horizon and the tide
was chasing after our
last breaths. we were
clasped hands, shooting stars
against the gravity of time.

we were old and we
were infinite.  

but it’s only a dream,
disposable camera wishes.
fragile lashes wake to another
empty room, ghost kisses
against the back of the neck.  
it’s a graveyard nightmare, skin
crawling with the need to stop
living–just to feel alive again.

because as fate would have it,

we were young, and we
weren’t as endless as we
liked to believe.

Stella
The immeasurable things i'd do to have you back here
Your presence; I still feel it in the air
Your voice still lingers & the room is filled with your heavenly atmosphere
The scent of your perfume
The way your eyes would bloom
Your walk & the sway of your hips
The way your smile forms with your lips
Like a beam of sunshine
Are all the things I miss
About you.
Why did you have to go? You know there were years ahead of us in which you've loved to see me grow
I dont understand why you were taken from me at such an early age but you know I still think about you everyday
The love I have for you is so strong
Not even death can break this indestructible bond
Those nights I see you in my dreams, I get filled with joy & cannot wait to go back to sleep
“I'm such a paradox” i tell myself
Because it hurts so much.
The tears which fall
are because when I see you in my dreams
, it occurs to me that I really dont see you at all
idk if i'm to put God, You or Cancer at fault.
I say God because it was him who took the homemaker from us.
It was him who took our legs from our table so that we can no longer stand.  
It was him who removed our limbs from our tree.
Why would he do such a thing to helpless me?
I say You Grammy.
I say you because you didnt tell me you were leaving.
I say you because you had us all grieving.
I say you because you departed from our everlasting love.
I say you because you promised you would be fine.
But why did you tell me such a beautiful lie?
I say cancer.
I say cancer is the one to blame.
Where did you come from and why did you bring us so much pain ?
The sleepless nights, the prayers, the fights.
You feasted on someone I held in my heart. You took her soul & left her to depart.
Why do you look for people to take on your wrath, destroying innocent lives & leaving them to fight to survive?
My full hatred towards you is indescribable.
I hope someone puts an end to you & show you that you are
In fact, stoppable.

What if...
Heaven was
A** dream and
Time was stoppable.

If all our dreams came true, we would
Forever be grateful--but that doesn't happen.

Diabolical optical ron stoppable
At your ****** scene
Outlining my master scheme
Cause casket raising is a persuasion
Like Asians
No I rather tackle your brain
So me and CTE are kinda the same
I want to bend your sense of reality to insane
And have you drive your Ferrari into flames
Distorting your social norms
And dissolving consequence
Im like the purge but with more confidence
Run away, scream, or fight back
I like all the above
Cause without a outlet
I would need a plug

See thats the headlines media dimes
Oversize to prioritize what we should
Cannibalize in our social lives
Yet I get hate because I’m wise
This owl is putting who on a loop
Like who made bohemian grove?
Who is willie lynch?
Who runs the new slave trade?
Yeah I’m the two of spades
Cutting into your shady grin
Cause these political jokers
Are two faced like a double chin
But nobody sees there’s villainous
To spew venomous at
The innocent to make them descent
While gain they cents all for
There sinful lent
And you say I’m bent
Naw I’m the anti hero you need
Kinda like spawn if dark horse
Didn’t make him take a knee
So I don’t want glee or to live happily
Cause I love all the jeers and boos
I just wonder when Henrietta Lack cells
Will be in the news?

Stuck
Fraught
Distraught
by thoughts:
echoes of intentions unfought.
Stalled by feelings unseen.
Stoppable without skills or a team.
Where's my tribe where my body can breathe?
Where's my test where my body can heave
all the weight of the world for a time and seize
a moment alive to lift the seas
and blind the sun with ecstasy.