The house was filled with flames
For over 20 years it was a blaze
It stood on broken pillars and burnt floorboards
Slowly different parts started charring.

It started in the basement
With cigarettes and lost hopes
A child’s potential misplaced
A parent drowning in smoke of his own creation
And the house lost a child because he escaped
We don’t know how bad his burns are
Because he doesn’t come around to tell us.

Then it jumped to the second story
The flames only lit up one of the rooms
Where 2 children lived
One who started fighting
And one who never stood a chance
The first child who stayed close to the ground to avoid the smoke
She took quick breaths to keep her lungs clean
Who followed every rule about fire
And fought the fire silently
And the second
Who tried to follow the rules
But the house deemed it was never enough
She choked but didn’t die
And the two escaped
With the first child carrying the second out
Their burns are the deepest.

And the fourth child
The youngest child
Who never stayed long
And escaped at the youngest age
And was always escaping when the smoke got to thick
When her lungs hurt from yelling and breathing in the smoke
But would come back for the 2 children
Because she left them
She left all of them
She left the house
But when she left, her burns were tended
She stayed away from the flames because she was safe
And her burns healed, but scarred
Her scars are the lightest
And she didn’t come back until it was almost burnt down
And the flames couldn't get to her anymore
And not a single burn remained in the house
Because it was torn down.

And a different family built it with better materials
And a better foundation
And the house of ash was gone

But burns will always remain
Because the adults who left pass them down
And try to light fires in new houses
But the children who left
Will never pass down burns
And eventually the flames will stop

you hold my hand under the
yellow light of a baptist church
praying to no god:
narcotics anonymous.

you introduce me but it doesn't feel like i'm yours
our clasped hands break apart as
a fifth marlbolo black slips
between your lips.

murmured conversations
secret promises
drift back and forth:
and my apparition
waits in the tepid
night.

i shift back and forth
through the golden amber haze: i could
lean back into the dim scraps of pavement
and no one would notice a thing.

“You are gaining weight”
“I do not care about you”
“You are just like your mother, her side of the family is messed up”

Would you maybe, like to reconsider what you just said?
I hate to admit it, but your words cut deeper than a knife
I’m trying so hard, but they are getting to my head
Maybe reflect on how your words are ruining my life
How I grew up hating myself, wishing I could be someone better instead

They say that family is important, that bonds are important
But I’m starting to reconsider
That maybe family is not the blood that runs through my veins
Or the group of people that share my last name
But it is a group of people where I can feel enough
I’m starting to reconsider
Whether I should stay by your side
Because yes, you do provide me with food, shelter, and the necessities of life
I walk on eggshells, reading your jawline for intentions of strife
You may be family but you should know
If you do not reconsider your actions, your own family will become your foe

Your that black
smoke...

Puffing
into the
environment,

Making it
unhealthy.

Your
devilish
way,

Became
a dance with
life and death.

Drowning my
heart in your
BullSh*t.

Your devilish
ways became
a balancing
tight rope,

To not fall
to my demise
of playing russian
Roulette with
my life.

All rights and
Copyright belongs
to ©BSM

2021-8-1

Jagged kiss
ripping my
heart open,

You ruined
that happy
home.

I am that
run away
bride,

That runs
from dating
commitment
and marriage.

I want
nothing
to do with
marriage.

Your that
jagged kiss
I run from.

I'm happy not
being controlled
living my life
in peace.

All rights and
Copyright belongs
to ©BSM

2021-8-1

I was never
difficult to
love,

You just
couldn't accept
your scars and
wounds.

And you
couldn't accept
your mistakes
as your own.

So I was
difficult for
you to love
because you
couldn't love
you.

You couldn't
heal your,

Selfishness
hatred or past
pain you just
blamed me for
your scars.

So I was
never difficult
to love because
I would of did
anything for
you...

But being
with someone
I'm not killing
myself,

And feeling
trapped no I
won't do that
anymore.

All rights and
Copyright belongs
to ©BSM

2021-7-20