We're all cruising on the same highway
Persueing a car busy chasing the one ahead
Whilst we're being chased ourselves.
We refuse to be caught, we've been driving for too long to give up now.
But so has the person in front of us.
You're never getting off this nightmare drive.

Blinded by the idea that the car ahead will slow down
we became oblivious to how much life we've wasted
wasted on someone that's busy wasting theirs on someone else
not realizing someone else is wasting theirs on us

A simple yet brutal cycle.

Just let some fool overtake you.
Take an empty road.
You don't know what could happen next but the only way to find out is to hit the accelerator and go.
You're in control now.

She thinks about me
The way I think about you
The same way you think about him
And the manner in which he thinks of her too

We're all hoping our mind's Prisoner finally turns around
Becoming "enlightened" and releasing us from our self imposed nightmare

Which is why none of us do.

Fingers running up my chest
You start to kiss my neck
I never needed you before but as I breathe deeper with each kiss I crave you exponentially

I tease your lips but I don't give in.
I don't want you.
But I need you.

I try to push you off but you start to undress
and run your nails up and down my chest

**** it

I rip your clothes off
I close the distance between our lips
And finally I ignite our intimacy

I haven't felt this alive since the last time we met for the first time
And as burn you my morals about the long haul to death
I whisper in your ear
"*******. I hate you. But I love you, and I'm yours to ruin."

I've relapsed

I smoke and I think. I lament and I drink.

I tell myself in a few months it'll be someone else's name; and I tell myself that name will bring about a contrasting feeling to what yours brings me now

I lie to myself

But still I act surprised when your name stumbles through every corridor of my mind, opening every door and sabotaging every room - yet still finding nothing   inside my intellect appealing to renovate into something beautiful.

I clean up the rooms, I tighten lock the doors, I set alarms but none of it stops you from breaking in and destroying everything again.

I rebuild stronger each time and when I think I've finally locked you out and I think you've given up, you carefully pick each lock and you decimate everything again, leaving nothing beautiful for anyone else that passes by to relish, forcing them to leave without any interest of coming back.

Why the **** are you doing this to me?

You've been incarcerated in my subconscious and you long to escape.
And I won't let you.

So you destroy everything in your sight hoping the destruction will force me to set you free. But darling, I've lost the key to the only entrance of my mind and I don't have the strength to break open the gates myself until I've rebuilt everything I've allowed you to destroy.

I continue to lie to myself

Tormented by the abundance of undesired despair and absence of enchantment
Causing me to rummage for costly vices
As I step into a steaming hot bath I light a cigarette and stare at the clock

It only ticks one way

And as my lung turns black and my bath runs red
I realize I'm accelerating the rate at which the is ticking
Accelerating at such a rate that the clock will breach
Allowing me to join the ghosts in the walls and free myself from the shackles of time

My nervous system's oxytocin production has come to a holt
So please darling, value what I had given you
As that was the **last dose of my love this world will ever see