I can not grasp the ******* perception of time
It seems that I do not understand present from past
And it kills me inside
Slowly ripping my mind apart
Numb heart, it feels every thing at once and nothing at all.
All of it is felt outside
Am I even here?
Not dreaming, dark circles. Never asleep but not fully awake.

You want to fall out of love?
I'll tell you how
Let fear be the guide of your path
It will make you walk away from my heart
Disguise the love you feel with the mask of hate
It will be easier this way
Despair wont show if you buried it with pride
Remember the easiest way to forget is to blame
People get hurt, people move on, people fall in and out of love
But i'll always remember your laugh and you will forever have a part of my heart.

Dear J,
   I may be at a loss for words half the time, and the other half I might have too much to say, but I can almost always say this; I love you. I have felt fear and I have felt bravery and I have felt loss. I can look pictures of us and I can recall everything we did that day. I can listen to videos of you and I can tell what you felt. And I know that you didn't think I was paying attention, but I knew how you looked when you thought something was unfair. And I knew the look in your eyes when you saw the light just right in a sunset and you knew that nothing could ever be recreated quite like that. I felt the same way about you.
   Wherever you are, know that loving someone isn't a matter of feeling something or not feeling something. It's a matter of knowing what you're feeling and when you need to let go.
   I think that people know that letting go involves unfurling your fingers and watching something fall from a great height. It's the act of following that objects downward motion that gets to us. That once it meets the ground or whatever surface it is deemed to hit, it's gone. What was there is gone. And once you think about that you think of what could have been there. That one last touch, that one last feeling of bliss that comes with knowing that the moment you wake up the sun will be shining in rivulets through fingers that tangle in hair fresh off the pillow. It's sad to know that nothing like that will happen again.
   The sun won't shine the same way. Instead it may simply fall. It won't cascade, it won't flow over the edges of noses or smiling lips. It's the same way water may lose a stone from a riverbed and from there on after it doesn't run quite the same way. But another stone, another pebble will fall in place because replacement happens.
   I guess what I'm trying  to say, is that letting go is letting someone else take a spot. In order for something else to happen you have to let your joints move out of their grip and unfold from their hold on something that wasn't meant to be held by you anymore.
   Sometimes you have to let them land somewhere new.
I only hope that it's somewhere even more beautiful than before.
            Claire

We created a world, our world
It was mine, it was yours, it was ours.
We could close our eyes and fly to the sky
Dancing in cabins, breaking our hearts
Playing with fire while drinking some wine
I lay my head in my bed close my eyes in surrender
You were all I could see
I felt no love, I felt no pain
I felt only your breath.
Chrystal pieces shattered inside my chest
I see no heart was what the doctor had said
Rivers of blood running out of my veins
And all I wanted was to love you this way.

Don't stare at me or even look my way
I know I'm not mad but I am chaos
I'm not destruction
I just belong nowhere
And it's not madness that surrounds me it's just sadness
Nothing great
Nothing genius
I belong nowhere

You always ****** up my mind
Making me fall in love with your lies
Now i'll be in my head
Creating new worlds
Where love and chaos will be dancing as one
And ill be drinking champagne
From my place, my bed
Watching the ceiling open up to the stars
While my tears shine as dry ice
pear cut diamond rocks
And this ******* paradise
I'll make for myself, where I wont remeber your name
And you wont matter, someday.