Is when you wait for that perfect time of day.
Somewhere between 4:00 and sunset when the light gives perfect sight.
Follow your rule of thirds and keep your aperture right.
More than your skills, art is within the eyes.
Which through experience and passion, just like film;
Both develop over time.

Just for that precious moment.

We drifted through the grey stones,
Looking left.
Looking right.
Always looking wrong.
43 women with your name lie here,
amongst the trim green grass and dried, bunched flowers.
43 women who share a name.....
Do you all begin to blur in memories,
as time blurs days of childhood ?
Or are you still sharp in someones mind, as you are sharp in the picture in my hand.
All those women who shared your name,
and we could find only two.
And neither of them was you.

pretty-eyed girl,
your underbelly's pink,
green, deep time,

don't know what you see in me,
I overcook things,
burn my mouth, trying to speak,

as
we daggle our already wet feet
over the pits of dog-bitten territory,

you always scratch first,

  but I dig deepest,

                 I guess, secretly,
                       I'm ready to see you go,

             far away, where the screams can't bind you,
                            and all the guilt quietly fades away,
                                 where you're comfortable, forever,
                             and your days remain the same, always
                                     where words don't come out
                                                      all ******,
                                              and your pretty thoughts
                                                    untangle at the feet,

                              where love can loop endlessly,
                                 and the old me is waiting

record breaking amnesia,
don't remember how to love you,

screaming,
  you aim for my face,

I strike for the gut,
where the misery
has nestled in disguise,
symptoms
come in binges,
don't think about
it stretching,
    lasting,
    coming back again,
anger,
pain,
hatred,
     you are blood,
      and I still can't pretend,

  record breaking amnesia,
  don't remember how to love you,

you provide strings
with your support,
meanings
checked at the door,
meaning,
you attach and consume
before we go forth,

  and, I
  just asked for help,
    not a third hand to feed me,
    not a list of nasty names,
    not a knife in the back,
    not another family member trying to bleed me,

honesty, clarity, hope:

record breaking amnesia,
don't remember how to love you

Flying bloom to bloom,
but no mere dance this faultless path.
You favour puple,
so it seems.
Clover, thistle, orchid, no dream-like drift this bustling  march.
In each quick kiss no flower touched twice,
no frantic frenzy,
"keep on, keep on" your gentle buzzing seems to say.
Until, pushing through an orchids sweet embrace,
head buried in the blooms,
Your tiny heart
quietly
ceases
to beat...

it was time to sow the seed,
  stitch the old me
    to the present me,
       and breathe,

release
   all this anxiety,
     tension tightening
       the grip, strapped around
         my throat,
          around my hopes,
           the me I've missed,
burn white candles,
  lay out my stones,
     rewrite the misery,
       untie the history,
         reach closer
           to the underbelly's guise, mystery,
      why I've lived
       through the eyes of others,

flies, gnats,
  and dead meat,

    there is no me there,

      just blurred scribbles,
        hopes for sunshine,
          trying to be
            something realer

If I walked a thousand miles

Would you greet me with smiles

If I braved the desert heat

Would we ever meet



If I looked deep into your eyes

Would I see where your soul lies

If I came and kissed you today

Would you come take my breath away



If I reached up for a glittering star

Would you come to be with me from afar

If I could only give you the silver moon

Would you run to me very soon



If I ever gave you my very fragile heart

Would you promise to not break it apart

If I was to give you my body to treasure

Would you give me yours with untold pleasure



If I was to ever give all this just to you

Would you tell me what you would do

If is a word that is there and only

Would you leave me being lonely

I've looked at star filled skies
At life in microscopes
I've stared at hills and oceans
To find connectivity
But I have found
I see You clearest
Not looking past this skin
For You're the best in me
When I see gentleness
Like giving of myself
Being kind to others
Helping weaker ones I see
Caring for older beings
Showing youth the paths
And scorning selfishness
I see that love must be
His modus operandi
That is what I recognize
When everything is said and done
He is the grains on sandy beaches
He is the fish beneath the sea
He is the galaxy afar
The very tiny microbe
Everything I see
And finally
Whatever else
God is love in me

butterflies love the blood,
tumbling about in bellies,
whisk it away, the way we pray,
a bird being carried by a breeze,
lifted essence, manifested,
heart shade, finally, at ease,
signal came through,
translated to
sharpened claws,
unclenched jaws -
unthought it all while sober -

  you came as ocean, as breeze,
   as birds, as leaves,
   as hues and blues,
   sunshines and moons,
and you left as you pleased,

    opened my mouth wide to cry for you,
    praise you,
   love you, raise you above
  what I've said in silence,
  unbreak the trust I betrayed in private,

  you came as hearts, as people I've known,
  and stories never told, as whispers,
  as hugs, and as kisses,
  as melodies, repeatedly on my brain, as so,
absent of you,

      I came to know you:

butterflies love the blood,
dying slowly from the greed,
whisk it away, the way I pray,
would ask for your forgiveness,
but I know there is no need,

I feel you in the leaps
of knowing when to regret,
and when to let it be,
summon the tides stronger
aside dying suns, each day,
each night I pray for you to call upon me,
like you did when I was your favourite color,
pray for you to love the me now, and be sure of no other,

so if I adjust the pitch,
tune the sounds to form around
your wisdom, or pretty eyes,
maybe the melody will reach you again,

if not for love,
lost at sea,
then for truth,
and maybe friends we'll be,

no longer eclipsed by rumors

wondering if sound escapes heart
if voice will become foreign again, a new soul again,
stretch these wings for the first time,
deeply inhale madness, for the first time,
recognize Blue, for the first time, sadness, too, or
reluctance, soft, tickling agony,
radiating,
as being woven in a nightmare, loose thoughts, I,
cannot breathe, loose thoughts, growing pains,

swell in the belly, void fear,
swell in the heart, too, he is not here,
so faint, we become, bruising our elbows,
gathering tongues with strangers,
heart's silence echoes,
truth glistens, in the rain, tear showers,
seedlings find themselves crawling
back down in the rabbit hole, again, devour

Moments twisted
Silence muffled by sound
Only to come face to face with a new understanding of freedom
And you dance and smile as once did the breeze through the trees
on a warm spring evening
I saw as you stood there quite still
Some how you must have been moving
By your breathe was so shallow
And you body statue like in the glow of the sun
But still I see you dancing and smiling
Its the way I always see you
In the eye of my mind
You whirl
Twirl
Float and fall
Breathing
Heart beating
Just as I turn to leave
You call
Not in words spoken
But by the flick of your hair and that look
You smile
And I know there is freedom within that moment
The moment which to others seemed
Twisted
Silence muffled by sound