My hands start shaking.
I can feel my heart violently beating in my throat
threatening to choke me.
I can feel it hammering against my chest trying to break free
it’s like playing drums on my rib cage.
my brain stops completely
leaving me alone in the predicament.
I have no time, all my thoughts can be seen.
In the end, I always end up speaking nonsense.
With stutters and stammers interrupting each sentence.
Making them feel awkward and confused
about how to reply
to the nonsense I just spewed.

Flickering in my hands
It can destroy the lives of many
If I drop it on the dry wood floor under me
Or if I blow it out
It doesn't make a difference to me
It doesn't affect my life
But it's not who I am
~21/5/21