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Abby Paden Apr 2016
by Abby Jones

sometime around 5 am
my mind tricked me
intangible feelings
pregnant with lies

i leaned against a palm tree
awaiting introduction
to the new me
manhood erased, a new woman born

beyond the crowd
familiar faces
past memories
an old girlfriend glowing with recognition

her smile shone brighter
as she approached
revealing love, pride, and absolution
for the woman she beheld

“You look radiant,” she said.
“We always suspected–”
“i’m not gay,” i said.
“But thanks.”

and in that moment
her love poured over me
joy, now tangible
like a soft linen sheet

i wrapped it around me
and bathed in my new body
between my legs
not ***, but identity

then clouds rolled in
a piercing cry
from my alarm clock
the dream gone

i lay in my bed
like a broken statue
soul-shattered horror
as loss became death

Who was i now?
What did it mean?
Was it joy or the woman,
where i finally found peace?
Abby Paden Jun 2015
Born to a body I do not know
formative years spent in ignorance
crashing trucks together, hot wheels
running them off the curb outside
with my best friend

He is distant now
same classes, same neighborhood
lives spent together
running through fields and muddy waters on rainy days
my friend

Familiar friend reaches for my hand
he kisses it, wet lips leaving trails of hope
a life spent apart
running through absent moments, a blissful craze
does he know me?

He holds me close, hands on my cheek
he kisses my lips, leaving a fire inside of me
a life come around
recognition a threat to a blissful moment
he knows me…

…and kisses me again

— The End —