I find myself zoning out at times
Wanting to say so much
But never really saying anything at all
Maybe this is for the best

What I think is better left unsaid
Opinions I leave on the inside
Never to spoken nor heard
None spoken by my lips but with the little voice in my head

I listen to others
Their sounds, their stories
Reading their words as they form them
But never really understanding

The same thoughts plaguing my mind
Like a broken record only played for one
Clouding self-confidence and determination
I’m left thinking

It's 3am

I'm on the phone
No one's awake and I'm alone

It's 3am

The radio's on
Songs are played on lonely station

It's 3am

I'm in my bed
My eyes are open and sleep has fled

It's 3am

I'm on the balcony
The sky is dark and just quite scary

It's 3am

Some windows have lights
Could they also not sleep tonight

It's 3am

I'm still awake
When will life ever give me a break

I sold her a bag of dreams
It had a hole at the bottom
She gave me winter and spring
Summer and most of her Autumn
I left her not looking back
Standing there
Clutching tightly
An earful of sorry stories
And a bottle of Bacardi

I want to
               feel  the  heat
                 of my own
          breath bounce back
                  and warm
             my  lips  after  I
           strategically  place
                     them on
            my  favorite  places
                 of your skin.

                    I want to
                        leave
                 goosebumps
           everywhere I have
               not yet kissed
                          and
               spend the night
                     trying to
                         read
                    them  like
                       braille.
                                                                                     Jon York   2019

I did so many
foolish things
back when
I was young
but
loving you
is not
one of it.