that girl she was sad
so she got high all the time
hoping to change her insides
hoping to dispel all memories of
your touch, your scent, your dimple, your crooked lips
your screams, yourhurtthatyouimpregnated within me
and that hate that gushed out of your throat and into
her heart,
my heart,
my heart full of hate
hating my lungs for breathing in smoke,
hating my hair for brushing up against my cheek
and remembering your fingers
and all the parts that fit
inside of me.

i think theres a garden somewhere
and it's untouched
and everything just grows and blooms
in the sunlight.
life flourishes in every crack of stone,
every shadowed corner,
and i think that
i would like
to go there.

This growing listless
has left me catatonic
just searching for some substance
Another way to numb this

Too long I've feigned uncaring
this act has left me wary
and it has took its toll
trying to collect my bearings

Searching for some control
Trying to stay unknown
cant show this tattered soul
cant know that I'm not whole

A feeble search for beauty
being blinded by the ugly
truth staring in my face
Trying to escape this rat race

A burnt tongue, with a bitter taste
of my own medicine
all Ive done, and laid to waste
Still I take it time and time again

Its not that I dont learn
its just all that I know
in line waiting my turn
to discover what awaits below.

I have a one track mind
and its in the gutter
With whiskey breath
and a bit of a stutter
I type at a desk
where the beer bottles clutter
the scattered ashes
spins and dashes
in the winds of the summer
Theres a stain on my bed spread
from the girl last week
I should probably wash it
its where I rest my cheek
I dont own much
but amps and guitars
with a whole lot of memories, debris, and scars
and wouldn't trade one bit
to become who you are.

At the end and trying to begin
seeking out a way to make amends
veiled behind a smile thats pretend
questioning just who is foe and friend
When theres nothing left for them to steal
you quickly find out which allies are real
I'm opening the door once again
no longer afraid of who may come in
even if its just to bring more hurt
at least I would feel something
and at this point, anything will work.
I want to be the one that someone needs
instead of just another luxury
Even though I don't have all the parts
I'm rebuilding whats left of my heart
Maybe the picture can still be seen
even with some puzzle pieces missing

but I wont know for sure,
  until I start overhauling
regardless what I've been discarding
there is still a reason to believe

That even the empty can be complete