Everything around me is gray
People phase in and out
Friends just kinda are there
Your family stands in the background
Like an old, grainy, black and white picture
Rain falls in time with your tears
Who can tell you're even there
Like a ghost you flit in and out of life
A spectator to everything
Participant in nothing
Life just seems...kind of bland

As I toss and turn trying to sleep
I keep hitting my head against the wall.
Every time I drift off
My head connects with purple painted plaster.
It's a never ending repetition,
A headache stuck on repeat
As soon as one ends another begins.
I try to stop, I do.
But there is something comforting about
this dull pain, some simple wall
brings to my brain.

some say that pain is inevitable when it comes to love
that you're bound to get hurt one way or the other
that you're no match for the force of human nature,
that is to hurt the ones you love

i say—let it.
let it scar.
let it hurt.
—and let it hurt badly.

leave me broken
and leave me crying
leave me lonely
and leave me dying

because if love means waiting years and years
just to spend one fraction of a moment
where we belong to each other
then all of the wait
and all the weight on our shoulders
would be worth everything
we've been trying so hard to resist.

You took me out, and thought I was different
Because I was crazy
You told me you've never met anyone quite like me
Because I was crazy
You said you had fallen for me
Because I was crazy
You told me you'd never leave, that I was the only girl to affect you the way I have
Because I was crazy  
We discussed future plans and named our unborn children, you'd never felt so alive with anyone else
Because I was crazy


But then we started to bicker
Because I was crazy

You grew more distant
Because I was crazy

You no longer wanted to hang out multiple times a week
Because I was crazy

You wanted to see other people
Because I was crazy

You've now fallen in love again and have blocked my number
Because I was crazy



And I blame myself losing your love
Because I was crazy

And all I can do is lay here and cry over old photos and hand written notes
Because I am crazy

They help you in tough places
When you're stuck between a rock and a hard place
Or
The frying pan and the fire
They make you glow
They boost your self confidence
They encourage you
At least
That's what they are supposed to do
Right?

When you leave
Your insides
Are ripped to shreds
If you leave the people
That you love
You shatter
Like a mirror
You want to
Scream
Shout
And cry in
Emotional
Pain
Until eventually
You glue yourself together
You are never
The same
You have the scars
Good or bad
To show for it
But you eventually
Come back together

You can do
99 things
You can hug
Love
And share with someone
But they will only
Remember
You didn't kiss them
You can do the dishes
Sweep
And clean the kitchen
But they will only
Remember
You didn't wash the cupboards