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You've broken me
Are you happy now?
Made me want to die
As I sit here and cry
All because of you
Pushing me around like you do
I honestly want to **** you
See your blood flow red
Because of the stuff you said
How ******* dare you
Telling me that it was my fault
That your boyfriend used me
And that you abuse me
How dare you
Say half the things you say
I will hate you till the very day
That I decide I'm done with this life
Just another argument with mother.
 Sep 2014 zeineb bouhaouel
Styles
I slide myself between her tenderness.
She trembled from the embrace.
Her shivers soon tamed.
The pain of a pinch,
She's feeling it inside.
Unimaginable pleasures,
refrained from the release.
Nails tearing at my flesh,
her fingers grip, digging deep.
Sensations of pleasure eclipse reality.
Ravenous passions,
we consume; selfishly.
Tension building,
unbearable pressure;
relentlessly .
Her emotions
Eruptions; uncontrollably,
repetitively.
I'm giving her,
the best of me.
Silent tears flow
Hush little child,
Don't make a sound
Don't show this weakness
With sobs,
Don't let others know
Just quietly cry on your lonesome
Stay in your room,
Don't let mother know
You're in this all alone
Because you can't trust others
Can't let the cracks show
Weak child, you need help
You can't carry this on your own
Yet you still stubbornly trudge on
All alone,
Refusing to let your pain show
A little jumbled but all true
what happened to my little girl?
With piggytails, and sweet dreams?*

Why ever are you asking me?
I'm clearly not her
I'm much older and wiser then she
I lost the innocence needed for piggytails
And I scream at night
repeatedly violated in my dreams
Too many memories in my damaged self
To even imitate the young, innocent me
Damaged by you, and him, and even myself
Razor blades and ropes and that lovely smoke
Burning the sweet innocence out of me
If you find her though, can you give her a message?
Tell her to stay the hell away from me
Innocence now would only turn to guilt
Mother asks the weirdest questions sometimes... She knows what happened.
Little girl. Four years old.
Pretty dresses. Dry those tears
Time for pictures
Mommys little doll.
Pretty little doll
Gets attention now
Soak it up while you can
Looks are all that matter
In the "flashing room"
Sit still while I do your hair
Make up too
Don't you dare move

•••

Little girl. Five years old
Get down from that tree
Good girls don't get *****
No, don't play in the mud
**** you
go to your room

•••

Little girl, nine years old
Here's your cell phone,
Mommy won't be home today
Make sure your sister does her homework
And clean up from dinner
I made up bottles for your brother
Don't stay up too late

•••

Little girl, eleven years old
Too pretty for your own good
I'm your moms friend,
Trust me
It won't hurt,
Stay still
Be a good girl
Take those clothes off for me

•••

Little girl, twelve years old
You hold it like this
Now inhale,
Let the smoke fill your lungs
Hold it for a minute
Exhale
Doesn't that feel good?
Here, have a drink
Mom wanted me to be a pageant girl when I was little but I was always more of a tomboy. Still am. She didn't much care what I did (or what others did to me) once she realized I wasn't her star
 Sep 2014 zeineb bouhaouel
ryn
Sitting here alone with people around
But I only see one person in mind
She is the person so fortunate I've found
She is the person who loves me in kind.

My head is spinning as I sit here thinking
My heart is aching for the girl I'm missing
My lips they mutter, words of love they're saying
My hope is wishful that these words you're hearing.

I feel this love in my heart, it's growing
To proportions of unfathomable enormity
Sometimes it feels like my boat is sinking
When I think of the undeniable reality.

This reality that I wake up to everyday
Keeps hurling obstacles that I must face
I need the strength so my hopes don't fray
Wishing for more so I can finish this race.

I love her dearly; without her a life I can't imagine
I love her deeply; I never thought I was capable of such
I love her strong; with hopes so high, I would pin
I love her furiously; never thought I could love this much.

She is the sun that around, my world does spin
She is my star that I always look up to see
She is my moon that so clearly I have seen
She is my universe that I'm traipsing through helplessly.

I've never stopped wishing for a life beside her
I've never stopped wanting for her to be with me
I've never stopped hoping for the a life we'd make together
I will never stop trying for I believe it's meant to be.

I have pined for her so, many a sleepless night
I have yearned for her through the hours of the day
I have craved for her; craved with all of my might
I have longed to utter the words I've wanted to say.

Countless of times, these words I've spouted
In my heart I've said them oh so many more
These words are strong like a volcano just erupted
These words are true for they come from my core.

So I sit here still with these people around
They don't know why my heart aches so
It matters not if my feet don't touch the ground
I'd still dare to dream and to her they will go.

Dreams of you I'll never stop conjuring
Thoughts of you I'll never stop thinking
With words so sweet I'll never stop praising
For the woman in my dreams, my heart is loving.

So let me be, you people; you never will know
You'll never know who it is who excites my heart
You'll never understand what makes my love grow
She's the one who had ensnared me from the start.
Oblique sunlight
Drapes across the tombs of our forefathers,
Diffusing brilliant light
Through fragile petals that grow among the stone.
Each soft blossom casts delicate shadows
from its veins' array
And gathers light against these
In translucent shocks of color:
A momentary burst
Of gentle, piercing glory
Before falling
Like an indigo ash
Back to the dark womb
Of incessant life.
 Sep 2014 zeineb bouhaouel
shh
I can feel my tears
Rolling down my cheeks
I can feel my hands
Trembling like the drums
I can feel my heart
Beating as it fall apart
I can feel my head
Aching as you fade
Not away from me
But away from all the memories we shared
Familiar paths
are not always
the best ones
to travel
10(w)
They say the definition of insanity is
continually doing the same  thing
over and over again and expecting
a different result.
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