A mind is a terrible thing to waste
A mind can bring you to new heights
A mind can show you the right way
A mind can be creative, and interesting

A mind can be evil, filled with sour thoughts
A mind can imagine destruction, and revel in it
A mind can bring the world to an end
A mind can ****

A mind is a terrible thing to waste

Don’t worry baby
It will be alright
I gently rub your back
And say goodnight.
I walk out of your room
Down the hallway and stairs
Walk into the kitchen
I crack open a coke
And turn on the television
I stare at the screen
Distracted by what’s happened
Not listening to the death
Not listening to the races
Not listening to the sports
Not listening to the crimes
Not watching the dog chase its tail around and around
Watching that dog, realizing he’s me and you
While the dog’s excited about going around
We aren’t, and can’t be
Because the closer to our tail we get
The further from each other we are.
I’m preparing for the bite on the tail
But the dog keeps chasing
Around and around and
Around.

I once thought of Christmas
As a time of cheer and laughs
A time when family rounded together
Life has made my cynical

Now I see Christmas
As the adulterated holiday it is
**** presents, I'm broke
**** family, I'm ostracized
**** this, I look to Jesus
****, I'm wrong

I try to find the 'reason for the season'
But the harder I look, the more hardened I become
I want it to mean something again
Just like it used to when I was 10
But never again
Will I wish for Santa to come
Will I get excited for presents
Will I scrape together my piggy bank to please those that snub me
Will I regain what I've lost

I search for answers in my girlfriend
Reassured that our love will save me
From this cynical, unholy matrimony that I'm caught in
I'm Henry the 8th now,
I want a divorce
I want the love of Christmas again
I want to believe that this is all for Jesus
I want to think that I love him above all
But I don't, and I won't
Until I release this inner anger and angst

I'm forcing an annulment
I'm playing my hand
I'm trying so hard to fit in
But I realize, there's no way I can

I found my mind in the eye of a cigarette
The thing that I curse and despise, the cigarette
The thing that controls my life, the cigarette
I lost my freedom in the eye of a cigarette

I don't know if I'm lost or found
If I should let go, or show latch on
I want one, but need the other
I love you still
And that's what haunts me
I could be with you
And hope you stay true
I could run away
And never again talk to you
I could be ******
I could be sad
I could be happy
I could be mad
But what I am
Might surprise you
Because what I am
Is in love

It pains me that you don't see what I
Saw that very day
I saw nothing in your eyes
I saw there was nothing I could say
Because you convinced yourself you couldn't be rescued
That you were on your way out
Your declaration of passing away cued
Tears and ended my shout
See I saw that day that you'd never listen
When times got much worse
You'd look to yourself, and if you weren't there
There ain't nobody else that can help
So speak about how I left you
About how all I am is high
About how I abandoned you when you needed me
And blind yourself from the truth you need
You were my constant as well
I'm glad you've already forgotten
I'm glad I meant so much to you
That your only opinion of me is rotten.

Shifting his gaze from my face to the ground
His twisted mouth shouts at me without a sound
Pleading with his stoic expression
To save him from his inner depression

Holding your hand like running water
Leading you, a lamb, slowly to slaughter
Not out of choice but because we must
To hope that are actions are ones we can trust

Smiling spite into suspicious spectators
Assuring them that there's nothing greater
Nothing greater than life's unfairness
To strip us of worth and force us to bareness

To remind them all that life is bleak
And its answers we're not meant to seek
Denying the purpose, the magic of life
Showing it is nothing but tremendous strife

You should know better than to think this way
To reconsider what you're trying to say
Because life may sometimes be far from gay
But that doesn't mean in the valley it stays

It means more than imaginable for life to just be
Its undeniable magic is not lost on me
Though there are limits on what we can see
Finding yourself through the ******* is key

Cause if you don't know who you are, then who will?
What then do you become except a flesh-bag with skills?
Why not sup from life's goblet until you've had your fill?
Why rise up in objection, voice scratchy and shrill?

You don't understand, that much is clear
It doesn't make sense that you're not filled with fear
How can you do anything when there's nothing to do?
How can you have an internal rendezvous with just you?

We are on different levels of thinking of stuff
And I don't mean for my words to be taken as gruff
But maybe your spirit is not up to *****
You know who gets going when the going gets rough

I hope you're not thinking that I've given up
That I've had my fill, and am done with my cup
I'm hoping that life can make a turn for the better
That it turns warm and sunny, with no need for a sweater

No, I'm still here for a reason; I'm not done yet
There's still a lot in life I'm trying to get
I'm not quite ready to admit this is the end
There's still to many wounds that need to mend

Now you are talking like a man with some sense
You've opened your mind, stopped being so dense
And though life's not perfect, from this point hence
Try to understand it, even though it's immense

I will do my absolute best
And I know someone else will take care of the rest
Just promise me one thing before you go
That you'll always be with me, that you'll help me grow

*I promise to you that I'll always be there
To take arms with you, and help you prepare
To fight back against things causing despair
No need to check by your side, I'm not going anywhere.

Please tell me how I'm wrong
Please tell me that you're right
Please explain to me how you didn't break my heart
Please tell my friends that I'm okay
Please understand, I've thought this through
Please, I want to say these things to you
If they're wrong, tell me why, and then I'll believe you
But so far, you've just told me they're wrong
And asked me to get on with my life
I'm sorry I'm hung up
I'm sorry I can't let go
I'm sorry that you're the only person that meant a **** to me
I'm sorry that I wasn't cool with the way you wanted to live your life
I'm sorry that even now, you mock, and despise me
I'm sorry that this poem will do nothing
But I hope that it will tell you
Something that you need to know
You're not always right
I'm not either
I find out when you are when I listen to you.
Do you find out that way too?

Raindrops glisten as they slide down her soaked profile
And slowly make their way down to assault her blouse and the floor
The crumpled up letter from the military sulks in the corner
Sneering at the ex-fiancee's plight

Dear God, are you there?
Or am I just praying to air?
I once believed beyond doubt in you
And now I just don't know what's true

Dear God, can you help?
Can't you hear my fearful yelp?
I don't wish to be an issue
I just want to know if I would miss you

Dear God, I'm struggling here
I'm not used to not feeling you near
To tell you the truth, I'm really scared
I miss the trust we used to share

Dear God, is Love real?
Is it really the biggest deal?
How can I know Love without my past?
How can I know Love's meant to last?

Dear God, please don't let me go
There's things I've learned I don't wish to know
Please show me God what I can do
Anything, everything, to get back close to you

Crashing
The cellphone against the floor
Shattering
Like the former love
Smashing
To pieces, trust that was built
Terrified
Heartbroken sadness
Uncertainty
The final decision
Resolution
Like a knife in my throat
Forgiveness
Like the memory of us
Gone.

I'm coming bro
I'll be there man
Wouldn't miss it for anything
Do we want bottles, or cans?

I'll try to show up
Though I won't stay the night
I want to come, I really do
I just don't want a fight

I might show up
I've got some things to do
You're still my brothers
Especially you

I want to show up
But it doesn't look like I can
Sorry to let you down bro
If only I could get a ride man


Oh, last night was fun
My brother's friend is cool
Cooler than you guys
I've moved on from high school

I'm coming bro
I'll be there man
Wouldn't miss it for anything
Do we want bottles, or cans?

I'll try to show up
Though I won't stay the night
I want to come, I really do
I just don't want a fight

I might show up
I've got some things to do
You're still my brothers
Especially you

I want to show up
But it doesn't look like I can
Sorry to let you down bro
If only I could get a ride man


Oh, last night was fun
My brother's friend is cool
Cooler than you guys
I've moved on from high school

I promise I love you
But that doesn't matter
I want to be near you
But that doesn't matter
I cry myself to sleep over you
But that doesn't matter
I can't let go of you
But that doesn't matter
You don't love me
But            that                   doesn't            matter                  





Or does it?

Every day I hope for rain
Just to match my pain
6 years in a daze
Go to work in a haze
Get drunk every night
Sometimes I don't even put up a fight
Feel like I'm in over my head
Wonder if I'm better off dead

Trying to convince myself there's a tomorrow
While my eyes are telling me I'm feeling nothing but sorrow
Don't know much, but I know I'm alive though
I hope that's enough when I wake up tomorrow

Every day I hope for rain
To match my daily strain
Fickle memories lecture me
"open your eyes and finally see"
And though I hear their lesson true
I can't stop thinking about me and you

Trying to convince myself there's a tomorrow
Though I'm feeling nothing but sorrow
Feel like I'm in over my head
Wonder if I'm better off dead

Every day I hope for rain
But I hope so in vain
Bright sunny skies, temperate degees
Make me want to go inside and flee
Live vicariously through my Playstation
So I don't have to feel that pain again.

Wake up late and sleep early
Everything's the same
Same salty taste
Same boring place
Same frustrating video game

Wake up early and sleep late
Everything's the same
Same Netflix show
Same footsteps below
Same flickering of the flame

Wake up and sleep
Everything's the same
Same **** routine
Same depressing scene
Same struggling to reclaim

Wake up and
Everything's the same.

When poetry comes easily
Emotion wells inside of me
It's hard for me to stop

My rhymes all run
Like an unloaded gun
Waiting for the pop

And soon I see
What they've done to me
Pushed me toward the top

I don't quite care
Inside, I'm scared
Rhymes for bullets are swapped

I could never be
Your one and only
That fantasy must be dropped

You'll never know
I'll never grow
My roots and stem are chopped

Believe me truly
And trust in me
I wish I could just stop

I thought we could figure things out
I thought this could work
But the second you told me
That forever wasn't possible yet
I knew it would end like it did
I knew it would hurt us
I knew it wouldn't be happy.
I knew it had to happen
Because I can't stay in something that's draining my life
My soul and my vitality, my livelihood's turned it's back on me
The person I live for, lives for something else
Someone else
Somewhere else
Eyes open, but not processing
Ears hearing, but not listening
Nose, dripping, but it doesn't matter anymore
Your tears are yours again
They're no longer mine
No longer will I be trying to find
an answer to the questions that seemed simple at first
Where are you?
Who are you with?
Why are you ignoring me?
The progression goes on
The I'm sorry's come out
The promises of change
I've heard all about
The lies and deceit
That fills up those words
I'll be better now,
Without you
I'm determined to hit big
I want to do everything I wanted
But didn't because of you
I want the girls
I want all of them
I want to love each one
To remember what we had
Living a low life
Becoming a low life
Degraded from the pure love we had
Into this tainted, despicable mucus
with the guise of love
You don't love me
Don't lie
You don't care about me
Don't lie
You wanted this to be over
Don't lie
You wanted me to hurt
Tell the truth
As the words from my pen
write themselves on this page
I find that I'm struggling to find something to say
You meant everything to me
And you took that away
That your life works out well for you
I can only pray.

I'm on a kick again
A rhyming, patterned disease takes me
And before I can even count to ten
I've succumbed to the feeling, trying to see

Not to see the whole world objective
Not to see the good in the bad
Seeing positives may be my directive
But dwelling on negatives turns me sad

Not just a sad that a few tears can fix
Not just a feeling that's gone soon
A feeling, or feelings, that inside mix
So I'm walking, head down, by noon

And though I pop out of the feelings eventually
I'd rather not feel them at all
I'd rather feel freedom, to feel happy
To not look at the ground, but instead stand tall

Not always, I know, can I forget the sad
Not always, but sometimes I can
And not feel the feelings that make me feel bad
But to rise from my chair, to stand

Stand up for what I believe
And understand the other side
To let myself, when necessary, grieve
But not to be swept away by the feelings tide

So to all of those people
Who think I should care more
That I should look only at the steeple
That I should guess what is in store

No.

The fog is leaking through the door
Creeping slowing across the floor
Coming closer, frightening me
Filling the room, I can hardly see

The fog has broken down the door
Can't escape it any more
Nothing more that I can do
Now I'm enveloped with thoughts about you

The fog has eaten away the door
I'm not getting out of this, I'm sure
Soon the fog will turn to fire
This room to become my funeral pyre

There's only fog, there is no door
Now I know what it's got in store
Suffocating, I can hardly breathe
I take a step but cannot leave

Wading through the crisp moonlight
I saunter to your door
Searching for the answer, to make things right
But you don't want me anymore
Caught up in the life of thrills
Refusing to settle down
To be honest, it makes me ill
To see you getting around
I respect your decision
Though I don't agree
I guess that's just the difference
Between you and me

Headaches, again
Time for another desperate attempt to suppress the need
Block out the noise, drink more water
You are full.

Itching, under my skin
One piece won’t hurt, right?
One leads to many, drink more water
You are content

Jitters, distracted
The sweet aromas surround me, as if they can satisfy
Then I hear the soft grumble, drink more water
You are determined

Smoke, filling my mind
Replacing all that’s been lost in this fight
Another cigarette, drink more *****
You are forgetting

Concentrate, use your tongue
Pleasing him has become more important than bread
A little longer, drink more water
You are empty

Bliss, almost free
I feel like a kite that’s been let loose on a windy day
Eat everything in sight, drink a coke!
You are guilty

Shameful, but act happy
Holding his hand, no thanks, I ate already
Change the topic, drink more water
You are hiding

Pressure, stubborn
He knows my lies, pushing some carrots my way
Chew nervously, drink more water
You are weary

Laughing, releasing
No dessert in this world could compare to how he makes me feel
Bring me closer, drink me in
I am full.

Ah the way this feels
To be a part of us
And I know I'm just a part
Act One in a Broadway play
Special in my own right,
But not ever complete
Without Act Two

I've never felt this way before
The way a child feels with ice cream
The way a chemist feels with a mol
The way a Christian feels with Jesus
All of them combined
To make my heart swell
Bigger than the Grinch's
On Christmas Day in Whoville

And because it's grown so big
I can't help but to share it
Because it's like the best milkshake in the world
Two straws are necessary
And how this has come to be
Took my more than by surprise
Almost as if someone dissected my thoughts
And produced someone perfect
To more than cancel out the negative past

Although my face doesn't always smile
Know that through my frown,
That though my tears stick to my cheeks
Inside, the smile's still there
Because, see, it can't be switched
It can't be turned upside down
And even though I know it's hard
To see past my tears and frowns
Please know that it is there
Underneath everything else

It's like the embers of a roaring fire
Red hot, like the Chili Peppers
Inextinguishable, a passion so strong
And also reaching out forever
Like a line on a circle
Wrapping round and round
Like an infinite slinky
And like that slinky that goes on
That I could never get bored of playing with
That I could forever push down the stairs
And rush to the top, more excited than ever

This feeling, here in my heart
Means the world to me
I've learned so much from it
I've learned what it means
I've learned what love truly is
I've learned what smiles are made of
And learning a lot from this lesson
Seeing both the good and bad
Just makes the feeling stronger
To have the smile again

And this poem would have no purpose
If I didn't mention that I thought
That it could never be this way
That two could feel so much like one
While still being two
While letting us do us
Like smashing the ball out of the park
Farther than any home run before
And more powerful than a cannon's blast

And though I know that maybe
At sometime yet to come
My smile may not be as easy to see
I will know, as I know now
That smiles never fade
That they only hide close to the heart
Waiting for a chance to shine again
Like sunset's final wink before night

All of this is to say
I really really enjoy each day
I wouldn't want it any other way
I wouldn't want a thing to change
Together, things are never strange
And thinking about you makes me think
That this kind of ship could never sink

To write a happy poem
First you need a start
You need to find something beautiful
Something close to your heart
If those are the guidelines
Then I'll write about you
Because I see your beauty
There for me, through and through
Your smile brightens up the room
Like sunlight in the dark
Your eyes though small and squinty
Reflect the beauty contained within
I know the reason why they're small
It's not because of genes
It's because you're protecting them
Showing them to those who deserve to see them
Because your eyes are like your heart;
Sensitive, but beautiful
Hidden, but alive

I wanted to write a happy poem
So I tried to write one about you
I hope it says what I meant to mean
And in your heart rings true

Hush now child, it'll all be fine
I'm right here, right by your side
Here's where I always hope I'll be
Wrapped in arms of a lover who loves me

Hush now darling, it'll be alright
I'm fighting hard with demons of the night
But all for you, and never in vain
I'll fight forever, for I've so much to gain

Hush now baby, I'm here with you
I hope that nothing gets between us two
I hope our love can go on and on
And I'll wake up next to you each and every dawn

Hush now dear, they're coming near
Stay low and wait until till it's clear
I'll signal when we can keep going
Crouch down, leave nothing showing!

Hush now, I'm through with listening
Looking at you, my eyes glistening
You were the last suspect in this crime
And now I realize we never had time

I am a moth
And you are a light
I'm drawn to you like magic
Seduced by your aura
I drift in closer,
longing to wrap my wings around you
To feel your warmth
As I get close
Excited and Nervous
I accept your warm embrace

Burn me up with your light
Because though you're bad for me
I just can't stay away

It's almost as if you think I wanted it this way
That I wanted to be the reaper, blotting out your rays
I ask you, take a walk with me, and see the other side
The feelings that I'd been running from I sought no more to hide

I'm sorry that I hurt you for that was not my plan
I merely wanted to be right with you, let you know where I am
How could I tell you Truth in absence of being so blunt?
These past weeks were not to play; the feelings were no stunt

I'm sorry that you hate me now, and that your blood boils hot
I'm sorry I thought I knew who I was, only to find that I was not
I'm sorry you gave so much to me, you should have kept it all
I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you, to catch you when you fall

But do not take this as a hope that you will take me back
I've moved from wanting to be tied to you to wanting more than slack
I don't curse our past for you have shown me a different part of life
I wish my words read out as words, and not whispers of mocking strife

I wish that I could be there, to help you change your mind
But what I've done is better, don't drop me another line
You should forget me, and all the pain I've caused you
Remember what it means to love when eventually you love anew.

I don't care
What the others say
What advice drips from their lips

I don't care
When they turn away
With their hands resting on their hips

I don't care
Cause they can't see
What really goes on between us

I don't care
If we're not meant to be
Because we still have a lot to discuss

I don't care
That I still feel
The love for you, so strong

I don't care;
Next to you I kneel
Because it's with you I feel like I belong

The world is crazy inside my mind
Tall towers crumble to my will
The right words I seem to always find
To the ******* my window sill

The great mountains before me sink
And I rise tall above them
To distant planets, I bow and drink
Until I choke and cough up phlegm

I stagger back towards my earth
All things around me are growing
The help I need, here is dearth
A fact that the dead die knowing

The world is crazy inside my mind
I shan't ever go there again.

I'm done trying to squeeze out drops of creativity
From my beaten, abused, and exhausted mind
I try writing words on my page
But they don't even rhyme

And as I slowly feel my wither
My sinking back to dust
I wonder who I can depend on;
I wonder who I trust

Not that I don't trust you
You, I, and trust just don't mix
It's not that I'm not friends with you
This just isn't worth it to fix

And I don't mean to offend you
Because I really would take offense
If I so much as touched your ego
And caused those cracks and dents

And I'm sorry for casting the rock
I couldn't see that you are glass
How was I supposed to know
Through you my rock would pass?

Was I supposed to know
Exactly what should happen?
Maybe so or maybe not
But away from me you're passing

I don't really want to let you go
Please take that as the truth
But frankly I've had enough of you
Begone, and take your youth

Leave your Youth of awe and wonder
And take the immaturity away
I really can't be subtle anymore
I DON'T WANT YOU TO STAY

I miss you
Your image haunts me
Every step
The memories pull my hand
Tug me to places I don't want to go
Places that belong in the past
For the sake of my misery
but when I looked at that picture
I remembered us
And what exactly that meant to you and I
How I was floating on a cloud for a year
And suddenly came crashing back to Earth
It's as if I've been asleep
Unconscious to what I've been doing
Now I try to get back to sleep
By staying up all night smoking ***
When you're thinking about everything,
It's a lot harder to think about one thing
The cool steel is pulling out of my chest
But it stings more now,
that it's almost out
I thought this was over
But now
I think this is just the beginning

Is she *******
Or
Shaking from the cold

Clasped cigarette
In
The night as she feels alone

Tears stream down
Our
Faces and onto our sleeves

Quiet 'I love you's
But
It's seems loves not enough anymore

I want to try
Please
If you let me pick up the pieces

Trust me, don't ask
Why
I want to be with you

I love you
And
I never will or have another

You are special to me
You
Make my days shining bright

And though
It seems we're far apart

I know
I can't repair a broken heart

As I lay here
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than NASCAR
And closer too
While I'm laying here,
I'm thinking of you

As I sit here
In class again
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than a speeding bullet
And harder too
While I'm sitting here,
I'm thinking of you

As I lie here
The truth seems to evade my words
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than my beating heart
And full of emotion too
While I'm lying here,
I'm thinking of you

As I draw the curtains
On another sarcastic day
With thoughts racing through my mind
Faster than you dumped me
And more hurtful too
While I'm drawing curtains
I'm closing off from you

I saw your tweet today
It reminded me of you
And how you've gone away
And I was sad

I wish I could be the Jude to your Lucy still
But I can't think of my love without feeling ill
I promise I'll stay safe, stay away from these pills
I promise as a lover, who's felt loves cold chill
You meant the world to me
I lived for you, you know
Now that you're gone, a hole is left
Gaping bigger than a black one
Stretching out forever
Leaving me scarred, unable to function
The end

I wanted to write you a poem
Not to tell you to take
Life one step at a time
Not to show you the extent
To which I love you
Not to tell you how
To live your life

I wanted to write you a poem
Not to hope to draw out
Some inner sadness
Not to cause a dramatic
Change in your thinking
Not to seek desperately
Your praise and love

I wanted to write you a poem
Not to make you feel
The same way for me
Not to keep you from
Being honest with me
Not to turn you away
From your current beliefs

I wanted to write you a poem
Not to show you that
My feelings for you
Mirror my former, misplaced
Emotions and actions

I wanted to write you a poem
Not to bring you to
Your knees with awe

I wanted to write you a poem
Because you're worth writing about

I wish I still missed you
I wish I'd angrily text you again
And apologize later like usual
I wish you'd want to talk to me
But you don't, and I don't
I miss wanting to talk to you
The aching, the pain, the bliss
I miss crying my eyes out and burning my arm
Sweet release coupled with intense sadness
I miss giving a **** about you
Because honestly, I don't
I don't love you anymore
Your icy heart has grown hard as stone
And your words have turned into venom
Begone from me, snake, I need you no more
Go have fun and get blown away
Because
At the end of the Day
You lied to me about who you were
Made me believe something untrue
I'll not **** away the memories
But quite frankly darling,
I'm done with you.

Perpetually ******, peeved and put-out
                        Cocked my cans back to give them a clout
                        Surrounded by slithering serpents suffocating my shout
                        Asking angry ******* what their apathy is about

Longing for her luscious locks to be locked with a look
Burgeoning, bumbling, believing love's broken book
Tired of the teasing, I take what I've come to took
Nestling near, cradling only my pillow in my arm crook

                              *******, *******, **** right you're going down
                              Fixing your ******* face into a freckled frown
                              Grouchy and greedy, I gasped seeing her gown
                              Hungry and *****, I can't leave the scent, like a hound

              Where was 'we' written in the wedding
              Roaring raucously, I rip off her ring
              Zealous, jeaous, I zag away from my zig
              Can't you cantankerous ***** see I want to be **KING

Hurt
Heartbroken
I am

Pain
Sharp and biting
I feel

Furious
Disappointed
I am

I thought of you
Always
You thought of me
When it was convenient

I want us to work
But you have to understand
I am your man
Not him, or him, or him, or he
You're not a toy to me

And I'm not a toy to you either

Life is destruction
Like a glacier to a mountain
Like a volcano's blast
Like tornado's cruel whip
Like a scathing remark
Unstoppable and Uninterested
Smashing, crashing, and lashing
Laughing while you struggle
Prometheus without the metaphor
Literally struggling through
Literally unable to cope
Literally all alone
Until the bleak, black, blistered,
Bashed, Banished, Blindness
Fades into bright light of sunshine
A welcome sight to sore eyes
To sore ears, mouths, and noses
To sore hearts, minds, and souls
Too sore to reach out
To grasp for the sun like a final breath
To overcome the scars, scabs, and scrapes
And as the sunlight fades away
The creature, product of this world
Sinks, crawls, and curls
Into a ball at the corner of existence
With its dying, agonizing, and brief
Hollow and rattling breath
Chasing away the rays of sun and happiness
And closing its eyes
Its heart, its mind
It accepts the darkness as its own.

Smoke circles my eyes
Glasses of fog rise
Through them, my life seems different
Beautiful, not like it is, rent
This mist keeps me alive
Without it I would surely die
Life of Cigarettes
Life of Regrets?