I’ve lost two people this year. To clarify—No, they did not pass away; but rather, the essence of one’s love, and the other, friendship, has slipped through my fingers like the hot sand I used to play with by the ocean shore.
It’s been months of wondering what I should have done so things did not happen the way that it did:
Should I have just accepted the way things were between us instead of seeking for clarity in our relationship?
Should I have just left myself guessing why I was treated differently instead of asking for reassurance in our friendship?
But what's done is done. I did what I thought was right for communication's sake, but unfortunately, timing was not quite nice towards me and neither was the other’s own insecurities.
I exposed myself. I shared my vulnerabilities, trusting them to listen, to love, and to understand me enough to stay; but, I had lost them anyway.
Love and friendship. I thought I'd have them figured out by now in my mid-twenties.