When I was younger (early 20s)
I had to wait on a lot of things & develop a foundation. It ******.
Now that I’m almost 30, I go right after what I want with no hesitation.

It’s not my job to clean up your past issues.
That’s yours.
I cleaned my side of the mess already.
Do your part now.

~My Mind

You don’t know…
The hours I’ve spent staying up at night on my vision board planning, writing, dreaming, listening to music to calm my thoughts.
Mind racing the course on if I’m going to die alone today with no one next to me.
Causing imaginary problems that never existed.
I don’t want that for you.

But when I snap back into reality
I see through your eyes, bright blue flames that burns in desire of need to be successful.
Those same fiery eyes I once had at your age
lets me know you can withstand any challenge that comes your way.
Because you, my child, are apart of me.
Who am I to place sheltered fears when it’s obvious you’re ready to start your foundation.

So when I snap back into reality

~“My beloved child, I want you to be better than me & how I lived.”

~My Mind

You don’t know
The pain I’ve experienced in multiple failed relationships that I’ve ran from
just to reroute back into a new host.
A recycling mindset thinking I found the one once again.
A mentality to give up quickly when problems arise vs have patience towards my lover point of view.
or or or  simply think they won’t hurt me for the last time.
Contemplate percentages on how much emotion I should show.
Do you really want to go through this because I don’t think you do kid!?

~My Mind

You don’t know…
The trauma I’ve fought daily within myself to do the right thing-
because my own flesh wanted to do what it wanted to do & not God’s way.
Trying to still be low-key “perfect” in an imperfect world, yet feels perfect world.
Saying “I got it I got it” when I’ve never had it until faith took me faithfully that day because I was lucky.
Not realizing the weapon that prospered against me, was me.