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i lost myself in him
to fill the void you left
where your hands used to be
his wander
lingering touches on the curves of me
the curves you loved so dearly

i lost myself in the way he breathes
his chest heaving and sighing in rhythm to mine
how yours was so
like a large weight was placed upon your chest
maybe that weight
was me

i lost myself to him
rendering myself hopeless
to the soft lips on skin
the soft lips that when i close my eyes
reminds me of yours
so pink and full
i could bite that bottom lip always

i lost myself in him
because i found something inside me
that was long forgotten
i kick started the embers burning quietly
roaring to life at the first touch
of his hand on my thigh

i lost myself in the murmured praises
whispering words of my beauty in my ear
making the warmth spread
to the most delicate parts of me
making me ravenous
craving something only another can fill
all the words
reminded me of you

so i shut your face out
i shut out your voice and your words
memories of you and me together
in a situation of intimacy such as this
and lost myself in him

and now i can't seem to find my way back
 Jul 2014 X-Ray El gato
Dawn kissed,
this distant land
Uncharted waters drift on dreams
of solitude wishes

Soaring high,
like souls a' float on butterfly wings
My mind drinks in the beauty
shining in your sunrise smile

For as my heart does fly
on winds of mystic endeavor
towards an eastern horizon,
I carry this love… for only you
we do not touch, but i still know
we're phoenixes
next time, we'll get it right
next time, i'll write your name and scream your name and love you until the farthest star's light finally makes it to earth and dies out quietly
like the milky way is in your ribs
and your breath, your carcinogens
is existence, is the only galaxy i'll ever begin to fathom
only beginning, for there are not enough light years to
uncover the breadth and depth of your immutable soul
we will be beacons
everlasting flecks of consequence
reflecting in pools of young lovers
when the earth as we know it
is no longer in service
if she had asked me, then
"Do we all die?"
i would have answered in a solemn sigh:
"Of course we do."
the realism impenetrable, the grounded logistics.

she asks me now
"Can we exist in other dimensions?"
and i reply, with a taxed, drudging honesty:
"I have."
 Mar 2014 X-Ray El gato
The fall
 Mar 2014 X-Ray El gato
The unending fall
Without a beginning
Is no fall at all

Nobody falls
Without jumping
Or being pushed
the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
and nobody finds the
but keep
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than

there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular

nobody ever finds
the one.

the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill

nothing else

The Dying need but little, Dear,
A Glass of Water’s all,
A Flower’s unobtrusive Face
To punctuate the Wall,

A Fan, perhaps, a Friend’s Regret
And Certainty that one
No color in the Rainbow
Perceive, when you are gone.
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