What you want is not always what you need
You get off your pills and forget how to see
Cower and plea, trenches and artillery
We live at home peacefully while we bomb children overseas
Graveyards among trees, flies landing as they please
What types of days are these, falling away it seems
Trying to achieve my dreams, self sabotage by any means
Holding four queens and a two, stinky bag in my shoe
Walking just to get through, get somewhere just to leave again
Spit and spin, coffee and gin, misunderstood original sin
Bent like cheap tin, kicked in, Tsavo lions den dark
Stark remarks, bearing your cleft heart beating red

A mood where you want tea.
A white dove ascends,
solitary and unafraid.

You're my living paintbrush,
charcoal glossy scales
Emeralds swimming upstream,
tried to catch and failed
Printed on thin paper,
your darkly rounded eye
Color of cloudless sky
on shining lateral line
Cut out white fillets
right along the spine

A sentence and a cell,
the American dream of hell,
melted Liberty bell,
getting sick of the smell,
can you tell how long it's been?
do you trust this cage you're in?
do you trust this rage within?
initial impact then spin,
centrifugal friend,
soul bouncing inside cold, dead, skin

Life rolls on even when you don't want it to
Trying to find the hidden mechanism of stillness
The thrill is gone, smoked up on the back porch
Holding wicked torch, lighting up lines of houses
Blouses held open to the wind, waiting on rain to send them running
Mumbling through gas station interactions, floorgaze reaction
Gaining traction through inaction, empty rattling boxcar soul
Always digging the hole a little deeper, one security, one sleeper

Your heart is full of knots, tying up my thoughts
Tabbed tongue, seeing dots, making peace with the day I rot
Dripping spit and snot, different pills to break blood clots
Cliffside doves diving into ditches, falcons on the fences
Relentless, fingers of lightning brightening false hope
Fate the same as a short drop on a long rope

Contracting sheets of limestone rough, tough rugged eyes among tumbled bluffs
Crumbled stuff, sending you down into the yellowjackets, swatting mad tumble
Mud and algae, sweat, lost glasses, lost off our ***** on some strong stuff
Ending up on the long end of someone else's courtesies, lucky they didn't ****** me
Words are brief, meaningless most times, too centered on our own rhymes
Focused on our own climb, horse blinders on, the world burns on to the beat of the sun

Sew some tears into your sleeves
Save them for me later, please
Hanging like the sword of Damocles
Scratching at imagined fleas
Ignoring all the shouted pleas
Bodies cold like frozen peas
Sailing blind in heavy seas
Dreams of dry land and trees

Splinters shivering into cold graves,
  harden them with chemicals,
   garden out the minerals,
    rip out all the ventricles

Bleeding, tossed, time lost, gauze on  
  the spit covered carpet,
  gray shades in darkness,
   efficient, artless

Fingernails digging into forearms,
  smells like worms,
  inhabits urns,
    vomits

Split pea soup into the chicken coup,
  good green grass,
   makes eyes droop,
    on stoop, dazed

Dead men drinking air through reeds
Dodge city splitting pretty pennies
Rust out all that pocket change
Evil, evil human brain
Beaten with rods of dry cane
Offshoot, soft soot face paint
Make me grey, flick ashes away
Day after day, revolving ridiculousness
Dreams crushed delirious and flat
Flys landing on cuts through the cracks
"I used to drink wine" she cries, tries to laugh
Chewing my cigarettes, bones stiffen and snap
Grass growing long out in the back
Fat grey cat, coolin' in chives
Tiny little pill closes my eyes
Interpret moisture condensed in the sky
Let the birds take my bones when I die

You went away on a gray rainy day,
Dr. Night cried under clouds
Forgive my selfish tears, from this pain you must be free
You are my brother, you'd do the same for me
I told you I'd see you on the other side, guess I'll wait and see
Until then know I carry you in my heart and memory

Sage bush smoking sour
Eyes cascading showers
Measuring sober hours
Chewing my cigarettes now
Good coffee, good chow
Pretentious **** saying thou
******* off the bow, drunk
Crawl back in my rack
Afloat but still sunk
Cold icey dunk
Casket of grinding gears stuck
Struck, sliding into silence

Sky running past orange bobber,
hair full of scales
Moon beheading the queen
of cicadas and nails
Heart hardening like concrete,
eyes blistering salt
Naturally finding fault,
cut clean to the bone
Lighting all the candles in our
little sinking home
Fish making processions,
I'll never be alone

The only blade I fear is the one that I wield
A single stroke and my fate is sealed
Hold up false hope, impotent shield
Casually spread my bones in untilled fields
Digging in my heels,
  it feels like I'm losing you
Digging out six square,
  soul bruising blue
Brick slit *******, courtyard contortions, fountains of weeds
Walking in ovals, squares
Blackboard becomes the backboard of your distorted dreams
Haldol turns evening beams to fireflies
Staring out the window waiting on my brain to fry

I remember what you did to him, tried to do to me
I remember their faces, their names, the blood on my lapels
Learned a whole lot about what not to do
I cannot put into words how much I hate you
It churns inside me like a lamp that burns poison
A steel cage full of diesel smoke, salt water, and us
Look me in the eye
Rip it up infront of me again
Break all my stuff again
Send me to the edge
Push me up into the screaming corners of my discombobulated mind
Into the screaming wards
Into the pill locked dungeons
Into silence and solitude
Tried to turn me into you
Bad luck dumb ****

******* out all the cold coffee
Burning out the last smoke
Scrape that **** off your face,
  dull razor

Waiting on the next inevitable tragedy
Bodies hidden under gravel heaps
Don't have a plan to stay alive
Get in the car,  just drive
Watch planets collide

Guerillas goose stepping through graveyards
No stone unturned
No concern for the collateral
Make those bodies fall
Your kids probably saw it all,
  pixelated, industrial

   normalized

Justice cries as she walks the gauntlet of lances
Begging forgiveness for false sins.
The old women spread cedar ashes, the young dismember limbs

Replanting my soul into a bitter bowl of charcoal
Poking holes in muddy soles to let stagnant water run
Up to our knees, up to our necks, screaming steel tomb
Algae will one day bloom on my bleached bones

Spiraling down into heaps, ragged and gray, cracked crockpot hip sway
How many times a day do the flies find dead lips
Violence equips violence, self perpetuated static hate
Powers of state observed through grates, through threadbare shirts as they disintegrate
Inflating the lie, runflat tires crushing thighs, for his mom he cries
How do your eyes hold dripping pitchers back, how much empathy do you lack?
Another body in another sack, probably shot multiple times in the back
Every corner and crack, possibility of attack, push it back daily
Thoughts in a melee, trading our rights for false safety
Splitting pennies like atoms, copper holocaust, entomb our species in plastic, carelessly tossed
Dripping crowns of white phosphorus, the loss is lost on us
Leaning less, standing lone, taking photos of bleached, dry, bone
Keeping flowers company in their lonely limestone home
Amongst screaming junipers, with eviscerating tones, I found no true companion, alone alone alone

Out of jaded blackness you come,
My stomach dances, what are the chances
Full moon lances through twisted branches,
juniper limbs leaning, back lit silhouettes
Pools overflow to rivulets, streams, dreams,
bodies clean and washed for a funeral
When the sea gives up her dead, they will
walk amongst us in seaweed clothing
Loathing our fate, being born under this
evil star
Sew up the scar with dental floss, grit teeth,
repeat

Lazy and lethargic
Loopy and lost
Little dizzy dots dancing through glass
Distorted and reorganized daily
Finding wiser ways warily
Cutting rosemary from the dirt
Megahertz blurt thoughts into blankness
Blankets on the back porch
Roaches in the feed corn
Violating duties sworn
Better to be never born
Steel shorn clean, violently
Violets growing amongst ivy
Mahogany inseparably blending into ivory
Talking more quietly
For you

Tumbling through days
Figuring out ways
Whys are harder

Eight soldiers advancing
Eight white crosses
Eight grieving families
Eight stories, burning the rest of the script
Burning puddles of filth in alleys
Artifical dandelions, splicing toxic yellows into my eyes
Blinking behind the broken glass
Perception reset as the lights blink off

This place is a cheap trick
Exposed at the root
Like a cavity, a pus ridden sore
It must be lanced, purged, cleaned
Cleaned of the false human impression:
That we matter

War is mental illness,
  there is no pill
   that can save us
    from ourselves.

Information age,
disinformation age
Plastic pillaging vikings
Lightning striking,
same place twice
The snow started light,
Romans stumbling through the night,
dream of coming in from the storm
Boiler room pruno scored,
white crosses cross my heart
Steam cuts broom apart,
magic tricks in the dark
Nightmares of oily black smoke,
metal ladder, last legitimate hope,
lungs screaming, rungs scalding

On the brink of mirth, lip split vertical,
bleeding surgical mask
Tapping Nelson's cask,
sipping static ash
Electronic clash, striking through,
silence moves around you like
  clouds
Life sprints away in leaps and bounds,
bound to end up somewhere,
  bound to fate
Juniper seperates me from rocky track,
don't wan't to go back,
  sick of drymouth walking
A boat headed south,
all the teeth knocked out your mouth,
  doubt becomes despair
We pretend that we care,
but our actions bare
  different conclusions
A fusion of different contusions,
condition: Human,
       most likely
  dooming: Oursleves

Cutting branches from the mercy tree
Pouring hemlock into afternoon tea
No retreat, simply flee, chaotically
History, repeated, rebuked,
taught in hollow echoes
Crisp lies, carefully crafted confusion
Truth becomes illusion,
don't trust your own eyes
Die with no reason why
Assembly line insanity, our vanity
A species eating itself alive

I called into the darkness,
only shadows replied with their silence
Surrounded and juxtaposed,
men senselessly exchanging violence
You can't survive this, involuntary birth,
existence the mirth of a blind God
A blind fraud, a sadist, preaching morality from the ****** pulpit
Your last hot cup of coffee, your last half smoked cigarette
The lights are about to flip off for a while, greet it with a smile
Grind your teeth to the gum line, interlocking fields of fire on the gun line

Greysen:    "Is that the Devil?"

Zion:            "You never know...
                     he could be right here."

-

Two trains pass, it's starting to rain.

There is nowhere to go but the sodden earth.

How many graffiti Guernicas' grind by?

-

A blue heron crashing into the creek

The minutes screaming by as we speak

Diet of coffee chugged cigarettes has me weak

A leaf, breathing and green, ants biting legs off of queen

You're scared to watch a movie without a happy ending

The hero doesn't always win when cards start spinning


-

Hold me digitally
One day we'll download eachother
Synchronized dreams, streams of consciousness
Blunted battery terminal breath
Everything is melting, I can taste the triangles

Counting up all your pennies for the next pack
Pounding in your own coffin nails, paying for them
Delaying the next step, the next desperation
The next stomach churning anxiety, waiting on a reply
Death threats over dominoes, **** on the floor of the psych ward
Lip split stalling, citrus bit, spit pulp, air gulp, under

A child born in space,
looking down his entire life,
clean and untouched.
Does he become callous to the ones in the dirt?
Or does he pay them any mind at all?

Insert the question mark here?
Where is to far or to near?
Can we buy a ticket there and just go?
I'm finding the darkest spot to lick my wounds

Crying plastic tears,
killing old fears

Pent up,
bent shut needle,
**** em' out,
flamethrowers,
beast screaming behind sirens,
bronze bull belching souls,
little holes in the blackback sky,
every ice cream cone collectively hitting the concrete

Put out your front foot,
left leads,
lead loaded longways,
yourways,
all day blowing off cigarette tips

***** hands,
ghosts of t34's,
chainsaws screaming into the freezing night,
the moon lights green shattering,
crumbling,
burning,
hate filled eyes to justify whole countries enveloped in back arch agony,
working on our own little holocaust,
out of sight out of mind

"A man in honor who understands not is like a beast which perishes"

Oh pitiless people, harvesting strains of evil
Biological sequel, pulled weakly from ****** womb
Inhaling fumes, burning plastic, trash and hazmat
Kids covered in copper wire
Liar liar pants on fire, we're all hypocrites here
One day we'll look back, like deer, caught in the headlights
No chance, goodnight, get high like a kite, forget

Waiting on the inevitable, waiting in line for broth and bread
Mass bombing campaigns, civilian casualties casually cared less about
Please clean water, please rain, we're licking the rocks, eating our boots
The rats are at war again, tails tied together, consuming eachother
Nuclear holocaust, the very idea of vaporization, lives lingering as black shadows on a wall
.38 special, black and white, execution in the streets
They pumped their caves full of salt water, then diesel, then burnt them alive
Kamikazes were told to keep their eyes open all the way to impact
It makes me tired, all these pills, all these useless cigarettes
I want to go in the woods and dig a hole, never come out, grow my own rotten roots
Waiting our turn for things to fall apart, that'll be $19.95, delivered to your doorstep
The conch shell is shattering, a spattering of mud for the city on the hill
How many bullets, how many bombs, how many broken bodies
How long until we overcomes, how long until we see ourselves as a species, not a flag
A day in our dreams, currently it has wings, twists away in the breeze, good luck catching it

All alone in your root bound home,
bones buried among flowers and fragmentation,
tank track graves,
little spades full of holes,
it's all burning now,
oily black tar belching in columns,
weeds growing through ribs in the trenches,
lunchtime in the landmine field,
eyes peeled back puffing smoke,
a sea of palm oil trees,
a sea of plastic,
a sea of people screaming towards destination death,
peddle to the floor,
on collision course with war,
sorrow,
loss,
tomorrow,
all these little procedures followed,
doing our chicken dance for grain,
rooster ran over by the 711 gas pumps,
still kicking one leg,
bite the tongue that feeds you lies,
tilt your head skyward,
pop all those bones in your hands,
neck,
light that cigarette,
we'll  pay for this all one day

When the last ship sinks
When the last lightbulb burns out
When the last car dissolves into rust
When the last word ceases to inspire
When the polarity of society is paramount
Divide and conquer, devour your brother
Accountability redacted, values subtracted
Like the rat king, tails tied
Merrily tossed into the incinerator

We will wear our burning plastic crown
Black melting tears, dripping and smoking
A court full of jesters covered in jet fuel
Sitting on the stool with feet swinging
Eyes bleeding oil
Corrupted salted soil
Hearts of men on rolling boil
Blindly hurling ourselves into the rift
Emotions clipped, surgically removed
A fire is burning under the lake
The waves are washing us to waste
Last breath before the undertow

Throwing pastel darts into the heart board
Pulling up electric dandelions, watch them wilt
A small hole dug in the woods, soul in a glass jar buried
Carried to long, can't feel your legs under you
Ever present antagonist, burning charcoal in each ventricle
A pencil full of dreams shaved to scribbles
All the pencils bend in there
I never want to go back
He might still be screaming
you can hear it in every room

You sip from a bitter cup
Pills crushed up into dreams
The winning team writes history
Genocide viewed indifferently
No sympathy for the weak
If the wind could speak,
it would be screaming

Wet drippings flags, upside down, spilling red white and blue
Grease on raw knuckles, mixing with thin ****** cuticle
Tagging your name in inky scribbles on my wrist, please remind me
Fog dragging its fingers through grass, laying down crystal tears
Fears building about years slipping by, another happy death day, candles blown smoking

Words attaching themselves to the inside of your stomach
Waiting on the acid to break down paragraphs and periods
Pull me into the damp grass, play doctor with your scalpel on my open liver
Shivering into seizures, lights going round like ceiling fans
All the best laid plans fall apart like sand if given enough time
Somewhere down the line we lose rhyme and reason
What was once considered treason ordinary fare
Waiting on the next solar flair, might bleach out my hair, my rotting bones

Thread getting thin now, feeling wind bite through
Thin plastic bones, bending in you, eyes crying gasoline
World turned into a cigarette, ashed out carelessly
All the lights gone blinking into darkness
Eyes locked into quiet circles, spinning softly towards the ground
Waiting on the dogs to stop barking, moon to go down

Twenty four hours or a second away
coming your way every day like headlights
tires screeching
beseeching higher power
get high for hours puffing flowers
possess the power to placebo self
all the wealth can't buy health if the hand held is low
whichever way we go there's an obstacle
we could make it out alive
anything is possible

Peeling down the walls, climbing our way into the sewer
Plastic manure, a harvest of good intentions unspooled
Eyes glassy, mouth drool, haldol pools in black cavity tooth
Ruthless at root, pulled up like catclaw in Skull Valley
Another faulty thought process, burnt, drifting through days
Looking back on the ways I dirtied my soul, soil in flower pots
The river is running high, it will be dark soon
I wonder in which room of what ward I'll die in
Medication vacation, turn it all off, lights out
Something in your hand, cold and turning, screaming silently
Something in the way the birds are flying, falling
Flip open another pack of careless filters
Exhale another hour
Time passes like rain showers on mountain peaks
Crashing through the Aspen
Chasing cutthroat trout

Speak,
speak it,
loud and howling,
scream it,
bite at the throat,
break windpipe between teeth,
sea seething,
black blue depths,
caressing the thin line of risk,
brisk and sudden,
broken mechanics,
protruding broken bones,
stones thrown at ****** brow,
collapsing,
imploding,
trailing your hands through weeds,
searching for your own little spot,
to curl up and die

Crying on the back porch,
feeling the familiar gut twist,
***** shank,
rib bone raking,
everything taking,
violence the lie of a solution,
moral prostitution,
bury lies skin deep in ink screams,
pages tearing like dry skin,
eyes dialed into the breaking point,
memories of all the places you've slept in your bag,
sky turning its eyes on me,
spinning clockwise off centipede wine

Burnt loves' small heart
Hands woven in knots around my throat
Floating in the deep, darkness receding to blackness
Primordial, the language of screaming and fear
Dragged down into the cold by the sins I've tied myself to
Starting to feel that artificial Divalproex deadening, taking all the sharp edges off
Come walk with me down the tracks, bandits move in darkness
Down by the river flowing east, up on the burning place
Loose lace shoe knot mind comes untied at every step
Waiting on the long dark to consume it all

Pour poison on the anthill, white stinking powder
Weeds sprout among flowers, days broken into hours
Leaving my cigarette butts all around town, every ashtray
Trying to find a way, forward or anywhere honestly
The circle I'm stuck in has me seeing meteor showers
Peeking out curtains in the dark, looking for something, cold and yearning
Discerning the turning point, dogs barking at shadows
Spitting at the moon to spite it, another hopeless battle
Lying blue pen draws nothing but black plastic stars, sparkling
Chasing Demeter through our parking lot planet, plastic bumper crop paradox

Spinning in sheets like seamstress ghosts, hands raised to holy host
Crooked hooks litter logs like lightning strikes
Insects moving in the moon lit night, watching, waiting, invading
Without pills all I hear is scathing, insect grooves shivering, shaking
Tree limbs breaking in the dark, rapid breath, raging heart
They're coming, fast as darts, through the shadows like liquid sparks
Fight, flight, whatever arc, pray you got a good head start

Spun up and down like trash in the wind
Inking skin, eyes constricted pinpricks
Fast tricks with low risk, another gram of the American dream coughed up
No luck, no safety net, organic meatgrinder ****** and wet
I guess this is what we get, for being so callous to the rest