I remember what you did to him, tried to do to me
I remember their faces, their names, the blood on my lapels
Learned a whole lot about what not to do
I cannot put into words how much I hate you
It churns inside me like a lamp that burns poison
A steel cage full of diesel smoke, salt water, and us
Look me in the eye
Rip it up infront of me again
Break all my stuff again
Send me to the edge
Push me up into the screaming corners of my discombobulated mind
Into the screaming wards
Into the pill locked dungeons
Into silence and solitude
Tried to turn me into you
Bad luck dumb ****

******* out all the cold coffee
Burning out the last smoke
Scrape that **** off your face,
  dull razor

Waiting on the next inevitable tragedy
Bodies hidden under gravel heaps
Don't have a plan to stay alive
Get in the car,  just drive
Watch planets collide

Guerillas goose stepping through graveyards
No stone unturned
No concern for the collateral
Make those bodies fall
Your kids probably saw it all,
  pixelated, industrial

   normalized

Justice cries as she walks the gauntlet of lances
Begging forgiveness for false sins.
The old women spread cedar ashes, the young dismember limbs

Replanting my soul into a bitter bowl of charcoal
Poking holes in muddy soles to let stagnant water run
Up to our knees, up to our necks, screaming steel tomb
Algae will one day bloom on my bleached bones

Spiraling down into heaps, ragged and gray, cracked crockpot hip sway
How many times a day do the flies find dead lips
Violence equips violence, self perpetuated static hate
Powers of state observed through grates, through threadbare shirts as they disintegrate
Inflating the lie, runflat tires crushing thighs, for his mom he cries
How do your eyes hold dripping pitchers back, how much empathy do you lack?
Another body in another sack, probably shot multiple times in the back
Every corner and crack, possibility of attack, push it back daily
Thoughts in a melee, trading our rights for false safety
Splitting pennies like atoms, copper holocaust, entomb our species in plastic, carelessly tossed
Dripping crowns of white phosphorus, the loss is lost on us
Leaning less, standing lone, taking photos of bleached, dry, bone
Keeping flowers company in their lonely limestone home
Amongst screaming junipers, with eviscerating tones, I found no true companion, alone alone alone

Out of jaded blackness you come,
My stomach dances, what are the chances
Full moon lances through twisted branches,
juniper limbs leaning, back lit silhouettes
Pools overflow to rivulets, streams, dreams,
bodies clean and washed for a funeral
When the sea gives up her dead, they will
walk amongst us in seaweed clothing
Loathing our fate, being born under this
evil star
Sew up the scar with dental floss, grit teeth,
repeat

Lazy and lethargic
Loopy and lost
Little dizzy dots dancing through glass
Distorted and reorganized daily
Finding wiser ways warily
Cutting rosemary from the dirt
Megahertz blurt thoughts into blankness
Blankets on the back porch
Roaches in the feed corn
Violating duties sworn
Better to be never born
Steel shorn clean, violently
Violets growing amongst ivy
Mahogany inseparably blending into ivory
Talking more quietly
For you

Tumbling through days
Figuring out ways
Whys are harder