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It's hard to talk on the phone
Can't quite focus on what they're saying
Stuttering and stammering for words
At loss for what to say
Then you have the words again
You say the words you mean to say
They come out sounding weak and jagged,
Meek and lame
And you feel useless in the department of speaking
Your heart beats and jumps wildly at the attention you never wanted, the attention that seems to put an untold amount of pressure and judgement upon you
You never feel like talking again, except to maybe voice an opinion someone might actually care about
You panic when someone new talks to you
Heart thumping madly to get out of your chest, telling you to get out of this situation

This is not a cold, not the flu
Not something you can get over too
Hm. Is this good?
 Mar 2015 wordynerd
Rachael Judd
Anxiety
Controlling my everyday life
Anxiety
Taking my heart and throwing it against the wall
Anxiety
Wrapping around in my head to consume my thoughts
Anxiety
Crying and screaming against my throat
Anxiety
Crashing and thrashing its way into my body making me shudder
When theres a knock at the door
Anxiety
Lighting fires to my insides
Anxiety
Making my hands shake so someone will notice im unbalanced
Anxiety
Life ***** and I want to leave this place people call home, because no where is home anymore and I cant feel safe unless I am free
 Mar 2015 wordynerd
AP
A balloon cast astray by the wavering hand of a child
Who wishes to know the latex orb filled with helium can fly
But in the moment of segregation between the tips of his small fingers and the floating object's delicate string
He discovers regret for the first time in his short life
The feeling that will haunt him far past his young years and into adulthood
Yet, it's only in these latter years of his life
That he'll also discover he is envious of his abilities as a boy
For he could let go then, easier than ever
And today, he is forced to grasp his wife's bony fingers with a wrinkled hand of his own
As today, the only delicate strings in life are the wires and tubes that travel through her
In this moment he realizes he must travel back in time
To relearn how to release his balloon
As he wishes for nothing more than to let her fly in peace
But he doesn't possess the strength to watch her float away
A story of a man from his childhood, then into his late adulthood, as he realize's how children who can let go of balloons possess the most courage. He must let his dying wife pass, but he doesn't possess a child's ability to let go anymore.
her paris dreams had become jersey jaded
but she held onto the romance at heart
after all you can take the dreams out of the girl
but you'll never stop the girl from being a dreamer
and its the beautiful things in the world
that were close to her heart
and it was the beauty inside her that counted
and she was a field of stars in the night
she was a dreamer and a lover
she was summer and joy
she had paris dreams that were as big as the sky
she had paris dreams as warm as her heart
alive with every breath her dreams lived for her
and she for them
her paris dreams will never really die
they are sunshine
even jaded they are beautiful
^¡^

/\^/\/\^^/\^^/\/\


like a wraith your smoke doth rise
into sulphur yellow skies
a fiery raptor... awesome sized
where the sultry brimstone lies.

from the ash... so grey and dry
erupting with a piercing cry
as volcanoes steam and sigh
dancing on the sparks you fly!

the devil mounts your back to ride
over molten rivers wide
his golden spurs dig in your side
on the thermals... up you glide!

then you turn and make a dive
into the flames
where you may thrive
born of fire you survive
you were dead...

but now ALIVE!!!


soulsurvivor
(c) 2014
rewritten
(c) 3-17-2015
^/\/\^^/\/\/\^^
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